Monday, November 6, 2017

November 5, 2017

Fred Grimm
The Sun Sentinel

RE: Alas, my last New Year’s resolution has come a cropper. At least it lasted until Guy Fawkes Day.

Mr. Grimm, 

The last resolution to go was my blood oath to stop spiking, A La NFL end zone TD celebrations, bay seals, particularly injured bay seals.

Let’s start at the end.

“As Francesca Guerrera told me, along the 2400 block,
where sandbags are kept at the ready, the king tides
have washed away the debate about climate change.”
The Sun Sentinel
Today 
Page 21A
You

That you commit the typical modern American Liberal sin of confusingly conflating correlation and causality and by saying it enough times – think of Goebbels – dim bulb readers will believe it, is expected. Once again, it fails.

I am going to risk being labeled an elitist by citing a bunch of DWEMs by asking you if are you in any way familiar with Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc.

 I’m sorry. You are not. You could not go through life saying “Global Warming is caused by hot days which, you know what I’m saying, and hot days are caused by Global Warming because life is a circle that shows what goes around comes around eventually. Didn’t a really smart guy tell you that if it weren’t for tautologies and non-sequiturs you would never have to use your brain?

We’ll have to come back to the vexing questions of why, if sea levels are rising, why aren’t beach front or littoral property prices falling? Why, if the risk is obvious, do banks compete to grant mortgages to buy such properties? Why haven’t non-governmental insurance rates skyrocketed? Why, if the sea level rise in inexorable, is the Federal government still in the flood insurance business?

I am going to let you in on a little secret. I love Climate Change. 4 times a year, the next time will be just before Christmas, I gather an increasingly larger band of Merry Pranksters, and we celebrate the writings of our favorite Italian climatologist, Professor Antonio Vivaldi. Some decent potables are close at hand.
The other tradition is that the newest member of the group has to read from my 1969 copy of “The Population Bomb” by Professor Paul Ehrlich. You may find this hard to believe but he said then that we would either starve to death or freeze to death by the drop-dead date of 2000.

Then we play the tape of former VP Alpha Gump telling the United States Senate in 1991 when he occupied the seat that his father Senator Albert Gore, Sr., noted segregationist, gave him, not to worry about either starving or freezing because we were going have our asses fried because there was not going to be an ozone layer to protect us from an overload of Vitamin D or maybe Vitamin C. Whatever.

One of the great American words is “bullshit”.
No legitimate conversation about
  “GLOBALCOOLINGGLOBALWARMINGCLIMATECHANGECLIMATEDESTRUCTION”
can take place without the word
BULLSHIT 
being paramount.

You say earlier in your “Oh God, but I hate the 21st century almost as much as I hated the 20th century, electricity, the Industrial Revolution, plastic, CAT Scans, the Cassini space probe, keeping score at ballgames, teenage bullying and obesity but not “Imagine”, Midnight Basketball, and endless loops “We Shall Overcome” and “Kumbaya”, that “9 years ago, flooding has become an ever-worsening aggravation”.

This could be one of those uncomfortable “turd in the punch bowl” moments but didn’t Barack the Beneficent tell us “9 years ago,” that

A - “We are the ones that we have been waiting for” and
B – “I will cool the earth and calm the seas”

Yikes, but I took Professor Ehrlich at his word. Since the consensus of my scientist
 is that man is descended from the bears I stuffed myself. My favorite t shirt, the one that says 
SOUNDS LIKE BULSHIT TO ME

no longer fits. Naturally, I disposed of it in an environmentally sensitive manner.

Your open book extra credit assignment is to find our all you can about how the Shinnecock inlet came about. It wasn’t here before the hurricane of 1937. It’s still there. Fish and boats use it regularly. When it comes to barrier islands, the ocean always wins.




Kevin Smith

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