November 9, 2017

Mitchell Berger, Esq,

Berger, Singerman

350 Las Olas Blvd

Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301

Yo, Mitchie!

Your “scientific consensus”, the one that puts all theorems to a subjective vote, the one that will shortly make pi 3.0 rather than 3.1416 so that inner city youth can get better geometry scores, thereby increasing their self-esteem while decreasing their disproportionate reliance on bullying, has yet another mitzvah to perform.

I watched a show on NOVA, and since American taxpayers paid for a portion of it, I, as a taxpayer, should have been listed as a co-producer. It was about the formation of the Badlands of Western Montana. It left me confused.

We all “know” that, despite the promises of Barack the Beneficent to “cool the earth and calm the seas”, the sea is neither calm nor has the earth cooled. It is a well-known fact that modern American Liberals judge a claim on its expectations rather than its results. For example, why is there no after action report on the War on Poverty? 

Use 1964 as a base line. Use all the indices that go into the economic/cultural pie chart that Democratic illiterates adore, the reason being that it cuts out the thought part of the conclusion process. Modern American Liberals, by their very nature, exemplify and proselytize “the triumph of hope over experience”. It didn’t work.

Some notable examples would be 3 Democratic Presidents in 48 years promising not to send American boys to fight in foreign wars, remember? A more recent example would be “shovel ready jobs” and “If you like your doctor you can keep your doctor” and “I will draw a red line in the sand”, shit like that. And nobody but nobody, particularly true believers, say squat. The horizon, always there, always visible, never reachable, is the goal. For modern American Liberals, it is the journey rather than the destination. [There may be a bit too much Aquinas in the last statement to sit well with mAL secular humanists]

But enough of me limning your psychological & political shortcomings. 

An ice wall burst releasing some 500 cubic miles of water into Western Montana. How did the wall form? Global Cooling? How did the wall burst? Global Warming?

We know that there were no slave owning, misogynistic DWEMs lurking about when these things happened. We know that there were no coal fired power plants around spewing acid rain and drowning polar bears. [We do know that if there were, your hypocritical Green, lower than eel guvna buddy, Tom Steyer, would have sold them the dirty coal to burn in them.]

It comes down to some simple questions.

Where did the ice come from? Why didn’t it form earlier? Or later? Why did it melt causing a 1,000-foot-high tidal wave that fundamentally changed the geography of 4 states? Is the ice coming back? If you give up your limo and bike to work will that stop it? Or are we doomed regardless?

Favore, get your crack consensus working on this. Time is of the essence. I got rid of the last of my cashmere collection two Christmases ago. Should I try to retrieve it? I’m planning on dying in a few years and I want to be sure to cross over the “bar” to the “undiscovered country” properly clad.

The clock is ticking.

Kevin Smith