July 25, 2015

Randy Schultz

The Sun Sentinel

500 E. Broward Blvd.

Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33394

RE: The not yet here Summer of Recovery and why it ain’t coming – Some comments on your unlinkable op-ed in today’s Sun Sentinel

Mr. Schultz,

Modern American Liberals aren’t dumb per se. It just helps them get through the day. As the great Reagan used to say, “There’s just so much that they don’t know.” Worse, there is – forgive me, Pandora – a box filled with empirically generated data. It sits out there, bobbing in the punch bowl, like an unwelcome turd.

You speak of Clinton’s “four surpluses” as if there were, you know what I’m saying, “four surpluses”.

Government budgets have no capital expenditure items as opposed to expense items. 

An example would be my experience with the Broward Board of Education budget.

In 1998 I went to Board HQ to get some budget information. The charming “flack catcher” gave me a pie chart with expenditures expressed in percentages. When I asked her for a print out of the capital items and the expense items she looked at me as if weevils were eating my nose from the inside.

I explained, gently, ever so gently, that the big shiny metal box in the kitchen, AKA the refrigerator, is a capital item because its use life is more than 3 years. The containers of milk – fat free, of course –in the big shiny metal box are expense items.

If you don’t make the distinction you have an accountant’s version of chaos.

Writ large on a Federal level the moneys spent on an aircraft carrier are treated the same as moneys spent on Midnight Basketball. They aren’t. Thus we have naifish modern American Liberals talking of “surpluses” as if they were real. Like the unreachable horizon or the bush that gives 4 seasons of balloon juice or rainbow stew it exists only in the minds of people who believe that human nature can be changed if enough good people believe it can be changed.

If we had “surpluses” why was there no reduction in the total indebtedness of the United States? Not a dollar. Not a dime. Not a penny. Look it up.

There is no record in History, nowhere, no place, of any country taxing itself to prosperity. If you know of one please show me.

If raising taxes is the preferred modern American Liberal way to prosperity would not Logic dictate that raising interest rates would jump start the economy? A $30 an hour minimum wage would lead us to the land of milk and honey, no?

[Permit me to dash another long held mAL myth. Corporations don’t pay taxes. They never have and they never will. Alas but the card carrying members of the school of “I won’t tax thee if you don’t tax me. Let’s tax that fellow behind the tree” don’t know that the rules governing gravity can neither be suspended nor can they be repealed. Taxes are an expense item. They are the same as salaries, insurance premiums, pension payments, raw materials, donations to the rescue squad or Planned Parenthood, 3 martini lunches, and legal fees. 

They become part of the cost basis of whatever product or service the corporation produces. The customer pays them. Look that one up.]

You say, in a somewhat smarmy ex cathedra style, that “only 28% of the $4 trillion dollar economy is discretionary spending”. Au contraire. 

When the Tribune Corporation, the parent company of the Sun Sentinel, went into bankruptcy I guarantee you that 100% of the expenditures became “discretionary”. As such, they were subject to a black robed executioner’s ax.

I recommend that the broadsides fired by President Zeus once he gets to the top of Mount Washington include such tasty targets as the Department of commerce, the Department of Energy, and the Department of Education. Executive orders ending the subsidies to Amtrak and the Post Office will have been issued coincident to the inaugural. They would go into effect just after the words “I do” were heard.

Lord Keynes, a man more quoted than read, was a proponent of cutting taxes so as to release the “animal spirits” of business. It’s what makes the dog hunt.

Parnell was standing for election in his quite “rotten boro”. He came upon a group of men who were breaking rock. One of them was quite beside himself praising him as the greatest man in the world, as the savior of us all. “Calm yourself”, he said. “Next Monday I will be reelected and next Tuesday you will be breaking rock.

No man, not even a Pope, can change that. 

A system that enables the rock breaker to have other men break rocks for him is the only way to prosperity.

As the legendary Big Mike from Bayonne, the noted sportsman, inn keeper, and now an exemplary public servant still says, “That’s why you never see anybody swimming to Cuba”.

Kevin Smith

PS – Taxing yourself to prosperity is, as Churchill said, “like standing in a bucket and trying to pick yourself up by the handle”.

July 26, 2015

Gary Stein

The Sun Sentinel

RE: Some comments on your trip to the old country as reported in today’s unlinkable Sun Sentinel

Big Stein, 

I hope you, Little Stein, and Boss Stein enjoyed your trip to Israel.

You don’t have to be a Jew to love Israel. 1/3^rd of the fragile, always in danger, 3 legged stool we call Western Civilization came from Jerusalem with the other 2 being from Athens and Rome.

As I like to say, “I’m not Jewish but the man who founded my church was”.

But on to the big old latke hiding next to the kasha.

Some time ago you wrote in a stiff-necked fashion, a column approaching the extreme manifestation of “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome”. In it you said you were opposed to the death penalty under any circumstances.

“Israel hasn’t executed anyone since hanging 

Nazi monster Adolph Eichmann.
The Sun Sentinel

Today

You

[I’ll save the shelling of Alexandria and the pursuit of the Munich assassins for a later time. G-d Bless Golda Meir.

It’s emmis truth time.

Should Eichmann  have been executed”

Try yes or no.

Kevin Smith

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

PS – Tell me about the gun control laws and same sex marriage in Israel.

July 23, 2015

“TROUBLED YOUTH IN DOWNWARD SPIRAL”

All hail the New York Times!

It never lets you down.

Beginning in 1864 when the Times acquiesced in the Democratic Party calling Abraham Lincoln a “baboon” and then supported a negotiated peace with the South, a peace that would have let slavery stand, the Times has been a journalistic pustule attached to the body politic. It stinks and shines.

Their enthusiastic support of President T. Woodrow Wilson, who, if we are to believe Justice Thurgood Marshall, was the vilest, most bigoted publicly racist national office holder of the 20^th century. Wilson’s White House screening of “The Birth of a Nation” was covered by the Times in its news section, its political section, its arts section, and its social section.

The New York Times’s Moscow Correspondent Walter Duranty, the Pulitzer Prize winner in 1932, was a bought and paid for spy of the KGB. He wrote of how the low carb, gluten free diet that Uncle Joe Stalin had the Ukrainian Kulaks on was actually quite good for them. [A synonym for Kulak was Jew] He starved between 6,000,000 and 10,000,000 of them to death.

Watching very carefully was Adolph Hitler. Let it be stipulated that the Nazis were more precise record keeper than the Russkies..

It’s not too hard to connect those dots.

From 1933 to today the New York Times has refused to acknowledge the perfidy of its employee.  His Pulitzer star still shines proudly in its lobby. Imagine if the Pulitzer Prize winner for Foreign Reporting in 1934, Frederick T. Birchall, the Berlin correspondent of the Times, was working for the Gestapo? Just imagine. I can’t.

Herbert L. Matthews, Harrison Salisbury, and Anthony Lewis are three reasons why Google is so important.

Matthews got Castro his job. Salisbury thought the Viet Cong were “agrarian reformers”. Lewis said White folks criticizing Pol Pot’s killing of 1/3^rd of Cambodians was out of bounds because of “cultural arrogance”’. 

“non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome” is a trait shared by modern American Liberals everywhere. The Times, in a Mephistopholean bargain, is able to genetically implant it into their scribes.

I stopped reading the Times in March, 2003. I had/have very clear memories of my father, the legendary Judge Smith, reading the 2 Arthurs – Daley and Krock – to me on Sunday when Harry Truman was President.

[It is passing strange that Hillary the Hecate now says that even though she voted for “it” in October, 2002 she never thought the President would do “it”. Lurch Kerry, a man who successfully married up twice,  a man who could support himself by being a face model shill for a hatchet company, said with nary hint of sardonic wit, that he voted for “it” before he voted against “it”. Spare me Lord from prolific protestations of public people who proclaim profusely that plaid is their favorite color. It is no longer necessary to define “smarmy” as in “smarmy bastard”. Gender equity demanded that there be gender balance.]

For the 3 months, New Year’s Day to Saint Patrick’s Day, leading up to the war, the Times was more concerned with the pressing question of why chicks not only couldn’t tee them up at the Masters but were only allowed into the Augusta National club house either to make their magic meat loaf or iron the members’ shirts. In the almost 10 week run up to war the Times devoted more Page 1 space to whether or not ladies would hit from the whites than it did to this country going to war. 

That took cojones so grande that should publisher Pinch Sulzberger, AKA “Little Shit”, and with the possible exception of Senator Lard Kennedy, the best example of why the inheritance tax rate should begin at 105%,  sit down he could not stand up without the benefit of a fork lift., doubtless operated by El Frito Bandido, his Sugar Daddy.

Thus was the stage set for “TROUBLED YOUTH IN DOWNWARD SPIRAL”.

This particular “TROUBLED YOUTH IN [A] DOWNWARD SPIRAL” shot and killed 5 serving members of the United States Armed Forces.

2 weeks before a “TROUBLED YOUTH IN [A] DOWNWARD SPIRAL” murdered 5 Americans in Chattanooga another “TROUBLED YOUTH IN [A] DOWNWARD SPIRAL” murdered 9 Americans in Charleston. 

George Orwell, a repentant Bolshie who came to know the Baby Jesus, told us that “All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others”. Thus there was no surprise when Governor Mush Mouth O’Malley, a supremely spineless politician, spent 3 days apologizing for saying “All lives matter”.  His audience, all Black, booed him for saying that because the narrative, mostly set by the Times, says that Black deaths, particularly when caused by White folk, are more important than White deaths, particularly when they are caused by a possible feral Muslim thug. 

If it had been possible the Times would have led a night time raid snatching the White guy out of the lockup so they could flay him, disembowel him, and have him drawn and quartered because he is, presumptively, a red necked, gun loving White trash racist who wrapped himself in the Confederate flag.

What could be the most fitting comment?

 I know

FRIGGIN’  HYPOCRITES

KEVIN SMITH

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

PS – The last best use for the Times is one that helps the fragile environment. Keep a few Week in Review sections in the smallest room in the house. Hold it in front of you. Admire it. Crumple it. Then put it behind you. Cleanliness is next to Godliness, right?

                                                            

July 21, 2015

Mitchell Berger, Esq.

Berger, Singerman

350 E Las Olas Blvd

Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301

RE: Maybe the world won’t end before Thanksgiving

Mr. Berger,

“Have you heard? It’s in the stars. Next July we collide with Mars.” With apologies to Cole Porter but his lyrics have awakened a different Muse.

Perhaps it is just a coincidence but when Tom Steyer, a classmate of your wife in what was, I think, an inner city school that was gang run and drug infested, stopped selling dirty coal to emerging nations who didn’t give a rat’s ass about CO2 or ozone layers but who just wanted to feed their people, good things began to happen in the Arctic.

I’ll try to be gentle.

The polar ice cap, the icebergs, the glaciers, and the precious polar bears, the only counterbalance to being overrun by those terminally cute baby seals, is in the early stages of a monstrous, Alaska-sized, comeback.

University College in London – the London in England, not the one in Kentucky – a 200 year old highly regarded research center, and one presumptively virgo intacta from the siren calls of the filthy lucre proffered by the vile Koch Brothers, used 5 years of data, empirical data, data subject to 3^rd party analysis and scrutiny, data subject to independent replication, data gathered for 5 years from the Cryosat-2 radar satellite launched by and run by the European Space Agency.

It may be an inconvenient truth and I quickly add that the schadenfreude is tumescent but 2 things have now been proved that weren’t before.

#1 – The ice isn’t melting and, further

 #2 – It’s growing.

If I were a cad I would say something like “How do you like those apples, peckerhead”? I’m not so I won’t.

The sound you hear is like the one made by the competing drums at a Texas/OU football game. It is the sound made when the collective sphincters of all apostles of Ned Lud, Lysenko, Rachel Carson, Paul Ehrlich, VP Alpha Gump and all the phony bastards who have/had a hubris that the ancient Greeks could not imagine, one that says that man can “cool the earth and calm the seas” like the world’s largest ideological “lock box”.

I hope I am the first to tell you.

Kevin Smith

PS – I still haven’t read of your firm announcing that because the waters are rising that you will no longer handle any side of any real estate transaction on property that can be affected by tidal action. [The only exception would be if you have a client who has a buyer from Quebec} I suppose you are waiting for the Harvest Moon/high tide confluence so you can announce it from a kayak in your office. I am happy to hear that you have banned all coal powered A/Cs form your offices. You have, haven’t you?

PPS – Here’s a prediction I will bet the ranch on. Martin O’Malley, a candidate for the Democratic nomination for President has outdone Henry the 2^nd for apologies. He apologized, profusely and prolifically, for saying “All lives matter”. The only conclusion we can make from this is that the murder of 5 servicemen in Chattanooga, with all the victims being White, doesn’t count as much as the deaths of 9 churchgoers in Charleston because the victims there were all Black. I say he will not be in the next edition of “Profiles in Courage”. Anybody want to bet that he will?

July 19, 2015 

Michael Mayo

The Sun Sentinel

500 E. Broward Blvd. 

Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33394

RE: Stiff necked people with horns – It’s been a long time – Some comments on your column that exudes narcissism it the point of solipsism or why I can’t get enough of modern American Liberals.

Mr. Mayo

“…Then again, I was more than a little shocked

when I told a woman I was Jewish and she asked – 

in complete seriousness – if she could see my horns.”

The Sun Sentinel

Today

Page 1B

You

I am not Jewish but the Man who founded my Church was.

Forget about the 4 Source Theory of Pentateuch Composition. Forget about Arthur Koestler’s 13^th Tribe. Forget about cooking all the flavor out of a noble rib-eye. Forget about my pal Max Katz being the reason for American anti-Semitism. Forget about the public love that Golda Meir showered on Richard Nixon. Forget about the 6 pound, 6 day old latke that American Jews had to swallow when a curmudgeonly Christian told them that Jesse Helms was the best friend Israel had in the Senate. Forget about the simple Israeli policy of “Shoot first”. Pray tell but where in the name of Shylock do you hide your horns?

Big Stein is on vacation. Wonderful Stevie got the sack. Schultz is a promising modern American Liberal ca-ca shill but needs seasoning. Because I am “bound and determined not to be cliché-ridden” I need industrial strength, mush-brained purveyors of “rainbow stew” jackassery to rile my Muse. 

Praise G-d that you have entered the 10 ring this morning.

I won’t be able to trap the baby manatees until the tide turns this afternoon so I have time on my hands. Allah be praised that gravity defiers, scribes such as you, are never far from public view. 

Mayo is offended because some people like to wear Confederate stuff – hats, shirts, flags, inter alia. As you say…”Even Germany has had the decency and common sense to ban swastikas”.

Here’s a flash, Mikey.

This country hasn’t. At least not yet.

The Supreme Court has ruled that Nazi wanabees, replete with swastikas,  death head insignia, jack boots goose stepping to the tune of oom-pah bands, shouting Todt Juden, in  a neighborhood filled with Holocaust survivors are OK

Mark Twain was right. Wagner’s music isn’t as bad as it sounds. Is it OK for me to listen to some of it?

Are you saying that red necks can’t dress up like Nathan Bedford Forest and shout Dixie because you are offended?

I say this as someone with 2 uncles 4 generations removed who went line abreast into the Wheat Field on July 2, 1863. Both were members of the 69^th Regiment, the Irish Brigade. One of them is still there, “wrapped in his faded coat of Blue”.

Oliver Cromwell killed about 1/3^rd of the people of Galway in the 1650s, That is where my people, as Irishmen are wont to say, are from. 

Does that mean I should stop reading Shakespeare?

Preston Henn flies the Confederate flag because he can. Maybe if people stop coming to his store he’ll choose to change his mind. Maybe not. Aren’t modern American Liberals always lecturing the “great unwashed” about the need for freedom of choice?

If it offends you turn your eyes away.

Oy!

Kevin Smith

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

July 9, 2015

Daniel Henniger

The Wall Street Journal

1211 Avenue of the Americas

New York, NY 10036

RE: AAARGH! – “Hurricane Sandy” –  A comment or two on your Chris Christie column in today’s Wall Street Journal

Mr. Henniger,

Perhaps “God Holy Trousers” would have been a better way for an ex-Jersey guy – Bayonne, in particular, with sojourns in Sea Bright and Bayhead in the good old summertime – to express my displeasure at your error, your gross error, your turd in the punch bowl error, your error of Homeric size, sure to be included in the next edition of the Guinness Book in re the continuing Dracula- like never dying shibboleth named Hurricane Sandy.

The highest recorded wind speed in the storm was 58 MPH. As an alumnus of Hurrican Carol, Hurricane Dolly, the unnamed storm in 1962, the unnamed storm in 1984, Hurricane Katrina, and Hurricane Wilma I assure you that a 58 MPH is what experienced Fisher Island 24s drivers, a helmsman such as Frank Murphy of late and happy memory, live for.

I hold no brief for Governor Christie but as a calorically challenged Garden Stater – Has anyone looked into the possibilities of the Governor and Hillary competing in the next Dancing with the Stars chapter? The proceeds would go for gastric by-passes for those poor unfortunates who are wider than they are taller who find themselves “unlucky in life’s lottery” but are unable to slip into the ObamaCare tent. These are the Road Warriors who are no longer able to dine at the nearby dumpster because if they get in they can’t get out. How they stay huge is one of life’s mysteries. – who lived for 26 years in West Orange, NJ, a town contiguous to Livingston, Christie’s hometown. I am sure we spent some pleasant times in Seymour’s Luncheonette, Eppes Essen, the Ritz Diner, Livingston Bagel, and the Chinese Restaurant on the Route 10 circle.

Before I wander too far into the word fen patrolled by poltroons and mountebanks such as Noam Chomsky let me advise you to watch your language or risk a luncheon menu limited to a knuckle sandwich…on wry.

Kevin Smith

July 18, 2015 

Randy Schultz

The sun Sentinel

500 E. Broward Blvd.

Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33394

RE: Some observations and comments on your unlinkable Op-Ed in today’s Sun Sentinel on vox populi and the rat bastard Republican legislators who refuse to abide by the wishes and commands of the people.

Mr. Schultz,  

 

Your unctuously oleaginous column about bad old White Republican legislators in Tallahassee who thwart the will of progressive people who want to make a system “so perfect that no one will have to be good” is, alas, a typically flawed modern American Liberal construct.

The dirty little secret, the turd in the political punch bowl that everyone knows Is there like Shamu the Seaquarium whale waiting for the dinner bell to sound so he can leap out of the water, is that all the players walked into the cigar smoke filled – I hope – back room to “create” safe seats for Blacks to occupy. The price that the non-urban legislators got for their compliance was the complementary “creation” of - can you believe it – safe Republican seats.

How else could Alcee Hastings, a famous Florida felon, a lout who had his Black-robed ass impeached and flung off the Federal bench for cause, could have been elected to the House of Representatives?

There are at least 3 districts that would send O.J. Simpson. Step-n-Fetchit, Mike Tyson, or Bill Cosby to Congress.

Isn’t that the way that a Democracy is supposed to work? Do some homework and see what Madison said in Federalist 10.

Bayonne, NJ, my hometown in the good end of Hudson County, solved the racial imbalance by cutting the Black section in half lengthwise and then bulldozed parts of both sections into urban renewal zones with greatly reduced population densities.

The only 2 places more Democratic than Hudson County would be a wine and cheese party at Barbra Streisand’s 1% digs or Zabar’s every Sunday at noon in good weather.

You say that the “Florida legislature has ignored direct orders from the public” in the matter of “fair” voting districts.

Does the same Logic apply to the overwhelming command of the people of Florida in the issue of same sex marriages? If memory serves 62% of the electorate voted it down.

OOPS. Silly me!

Being a modern American Liberal means that you never have to say you’re sorry for “eclectic indignation” and “my favorite color is plaid” school of public policy.

“Open and transparent” redistricting?

No wonder you are in favor of abortion. If you believe such clap-trap you would always be pregnant.

Kevin Smith

July 8, 2015

Gary Stein

The Sun Sentinel

RE: Fill me in, please

Big Stein,

“When I was sick and lay abed” a lot of things happened.

Since Professor Steven Goldstein has either been captured by Ethiopian pirates or did not share my good fortune in dealing with the ObamaCare Death Panels, the mantle of canary in the coal mine, card carrying, fire breathing face of modern American Liberalism has fallen on you. It is not known if an environmental impact statement was filed but that’s OK. MALs don’t have much use for the law.

Since you conflate correlation with causation – It sure as Hell beats thinking doesn’t it? – and since Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc is, along with 4^th and 5^th  trimester abortions and maybe Bernie Sanders is out where the regular buses don’t run but it will make Hillary come to like Castro and Chavez so it must be good I turn to you for some answers.

These questions are asked in the spirit of comity and good will. Honest.

#1 – What happened in Iraq? Didn’t the President tell us in 2012 that we were leaving it a “secure country on the road to democracy”?

` #2 – Is ISIS still the JV squad or have they made it to the varsity?

#3 - When will the Summer of Recovery get here? Before Winter? Ever?

#4 – A melanin challenged loon killed 9 Black people in Charleston. He likes the Confederate flag. Naturally the mush brained media said that the flag made him do it. [Correlation and causation, remember?] There were 83 separate shooting incidents in Chicago this weekend with14 deaths. I am going to go out on a limb here but there were no White victims nor were there White shooters. Did the Confederate flag cause this? If so, how?

#5 – An undocumented Mexican illegal alien, 5 times deported and 4 times returning, shot a non-Black woman to death in San Francisco. Any flag involvement there? Was he basking in Alamo pride? Doesn’t this prove that Trump was right and probably should be President?

#6 – If 2 Muslim twin brothers want to get married in a mosque will the Imam have to or go to jail?

#7 – If a Lubavitcher shul refuses to rent me space in their parking lot to sell my pulled pork sandwiches on Shabos – The lot should be empty, right? – can a Judge force them?

#8 – Emmis truth time – Wouldn’t you really, I mean really, really like to see Hillary Clinton and Chris Christie do a few turns of Swan Lake or, at least, a Fred and Ginger look-back? I would. The two of them have enough wasted waist suet to keep the fires in Haiti burning for a week.

#9 – How is that “calm the oceans, cool the earth” bullshit coming along? It’s more than 6 years, amigo.

I am looking forward to getting the official party line.

I am 2 weeks late but won’t you join me in toasting the executions of the Rosenbergs? Don’t you think there should be a 24 hour armed guard – bayonets pointing in – at their graves lest those scroyles sneak out one dark and stormy night and do yet more harm to the Republic?

      

Kevin Smith

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

#10 – Was Alger Hiss guilty or was he railroaded by Nixon?

#11 – Why were the Kennedy tax cuts good but the Bush tax cuts bad?

#12 – Speaking of tax cuts, how do you give a tax cut to someone with no income?

#13 – The Duke Lacrosse team really did it, didn’t they?

#14 – Walmart became evil after Hillary Clinton resigned from the Board, right?

#15 - The thought of Dukakis as President made the USSR tear down the Wall, right?

#16 - Eliminate bus and train fares to save the planet.

#17 – Was Greece the victim of predatory lenders?

#18 – Guilt free crème brulee.

#19 – Scoreless ties in all games, except women’s soccer. 

#20– Yes we can reach the horizon…Maybe at the end of Chelsea’s 2^nd term.

On the other hand…

“Of all the things that men endure how few

Laws or kings can cause or cure.”

July 5, 2015

Gary Stein

The Sun Sentinel 

RE: Fiat lux – Some comments on your column in today’s Sun Sentinel

Big Stein,

It took all my skill and cunning, traits whetted and honed after decades of listening to the vipers slithering in  the covens of modern American Liberalism as they offend Logic, decimate critical thinking and reasoned discourse, poltroonish trolls all, who know that raising both taxes and the minimum wage is the time tested way to make the rich  poorer so the poor can be made richer – Way to go, Bernie! – to avoid the nefarious ObamaCare Death Panels this past month.

Having done so I feel fit to re-enter the arena in the never ending culture wars secure in the knowledge that in my absence B. Hussein Obama is still the best President we have, that Hillary Clinton, she of the exponentially expanding steatyagenous midsection – Is it true she uses WD40 to get into her pastel colored, reporter avoiding mumu? Oliver Hardy, Jackie Gleason, and Alfred Hitchcock, not Sir Edmund Hillary, were her childhood idols, no – is fully flummoxed by a functioning fax machine, and that Justice Clarence Thomas is, according to George Takei, nee Sulu of Star Trek, a “black faced buffoon”. 

Some things never change.

Yet there is one thing I must thank you for.

In your column in today’s unlinkable Sun Sentinel you solved, of course unwittingly, a problem of semantics.

As Broward County’s leading scrivener of ideological biliousness, AKA the interchangeable ukases and fiats of modern American Liberalism and its butt-boy butt- girl, the Democratic Party, you say that anyone opposed to abortion is “pro-life”.

If opposition to abortion makes one “pro-life” would not Logic dictate that “pro-death” must apply to all those in favor of abortion? [You may want to have Little Stein, your college student son, see if he can get his hands on a dog-eared copy of the Trivium, particularly the part covering Logic, for you.]

Sometimes a blind squirrel can find an acorn.

If you are opposed to abortion Big Stein, the man behind the curtain, proclaims that you are “pro-life”.

If you are in favor of Doctor Mengele, and you must know that he would win any Democratic primary he ran in in Broward County because of his progressive views on women’s reproductive rights, you are, according to Big Stein, “pro-death”.

Thanks for clearing that up. 

Bumper stickers coming soon.

Kevin Smith

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

June 20, 2015

Revealing the heretofore unknown Alexander Hamilton/Wichita connection

If it weren’t for the G/H alphabet connection this story would be fiction. Mike Garrett sat next to Rod Hatter when they both were at Columbia Law School. That they were, and grant me the freedom to condense and straight line a lot of stuff, is how I got to know Wichita, 3 and ½ years of it.

Mike Garrett to Rod Hatter to Bob Foulston to Jordan Haines to Alexander Hamilton.

Bob Foulston was a class act. He was the founder and managing partner of Foulston, Powers, Seifkin, Powers & Eberhardt in Wichita, KS. He introduced me to Jordan Haines, the Chairman of the Board of the 4^th National Bank of Wichita.

Skip over the somewhat inartful name of the bank. He and it were big players in the mid-1970s American banking scene. Beyond that, the lobby of the HQ was adorned by Alexander Calder mobiles. Calder, another distinguished alumnus of Stevens Institute in Hoboken, and several bib-overalled farmers with 3000 acres of wheat under cultivation made for an unforgettable tableau of American exceptionalism. [The world is upside down when we, still waiting for the Godot of a never arriving Summer of Recovery, can look back on the 1970s as the “good old days”.]

Jordan Haines showed me the board room where corporate things got done.

I asked what the 3 foot high marble stands were for.

Olive Beech, she of the Beech Aircraft Company, was both a member of the Bank’s board and a serial cigar smoker. Small, thin, somewhat petite, definitely not androgynous – I speak both of her and her smokes – liked to wander around the room. To accommodate her, several ashtrays were strategically placed. She apparently liked to dispose of revolutionary Cuban cigarillos in an environmentally sensitive way, one at a time. The evidence of contraband went, so to speak, up in smoke.

She liked to say that she was descended 3 times out from Alexander Hamilton.

She called him an “octaroon bastard” and would ask what that would make her.

Hamilton, co-author of the Federalist Papers, Secretary of the Treasury, founder of the Bank of New York and the New York Post, a man who got a battlefield commission from George Washington, is about to get his mostly White ass booted off the $10 dollar bill so some broad can get her mug on it.

Oprah? Margaret Sanger? Madonna? Margaret Mead? Lady Macbeth? Secretariat’s mom? Goneril or Regan? Any surviving alumnae of the Boko Harum School of Lady-like conduct? Aunt Jemima? Antigone? Margaret Thatcher?

There is a passing strange sense of absurdity that is beyond, almost, comment.

If we have to put a broad on the $10 dollar bill why not Olive Beech?

What glass ceiling? She went through it like a bat out Hell. She was Jack Welch before he was.

Why not knock Jefferson off the $2 dollar bill? Replace him with Caitlin Jenner, nee Bruce Jenner, and raise the value to adjust for inflation. America’s first $3 dollar bill.

A symbol of how far we’ve come as a nation.

Kevin Smith

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

June 15, 2015

Leonard Pitts, Jr

The Miami Herald

3511 NW 91^st Avenue

Miami, FL33172

RE: Justice Scalia, Justice Marshall, “eclectic indignation”, moral relativism, and the cognitively dissonant upside down world of those water carriers for modern American Liberalism as outlined by you in Sunday’s Miami Herald.

Mr. Pitts, 

Whenever I think of Pulitzer Prizes I think of Walter Duranty, I think of Janet Cook, and then I think of you.

I have been reading your column for a very long time. It is painfully obvious, indeed empirically self-evident, that you have but one tool, said tool being an ink powered 9 pound hammer. Since I have swung the real one in 3 different countries it is a tool that I respect. Alas, you aim your tool at only one thing. Race is the nail that you aim at. Everything looks like a nail.

Your Sunday Herald column takes Justice Scalia to task for his sang-froid attitude toward capital punishment. You cited his opinion as proof of your position in the flawed process of appealing a death penalty sentence.

2 things leap to mind.

#1 – How a Black columnist, a Pulitzer Prize winner to boot, can criticize a White Justice for callousness about the death penalty without mentioning Ricky Ray Rector is beyond me, it is beyond the pale, and it is beyond contempt.

Ricky Ray Rector is a name consigned to the memory hole. He was a murdering feral Black thug who was easily the moral equal of Willie Horton.

Willie Horton was a murdering Back rapist who was convicted and sentenced to life imprisonment in Massachusetts. He was furloughed by Governor Michael Dukakis for a bit of New England R&R. Instead he went to Maryland where, and can you believe it, he raped and murdered again. I mention him because it is Holy Writ in the Canons of Modern American Liberalism that George Bush used it to scare White voters into electing him as President. Just like alligators in the NYC sewers, flying saucers, and the not yet arriving Summer of Recovery, it just ain’t true. It was Senator Albert Arnold Gore, Jr. who used it repeatedly in the Democratic Presidential Primary in NYC in March/April, 1987. He lost but he went on to fame and fabulous 1% fortune as Vice President Alpha Gump. He is still pissed off because the ruptured ozone layer refuses to fall into the Rose Bowl at halftime. 

Say what you will about the Salem witch trials it’s been more than 300 years since Massachusetts has been bothered by demonic succubae. If Massachusetts had strapped 2 dozen 12 volt batteries to any and all of Willie Boy’s offending appendages the first time there wouldn’t have been a second time.

But I digress.

Ricky Ray Rector was cornered by the cops and started a “Made it Ma. Top of the world!” moment. Facing capture he decided to blow his brains out. Since the goals of Affirmative Action do not yet apply to suicide it must be reported that he only blew out half his brains. He became an “amiable dunce”, a term most beloved of modern American Liberals. Vide Clark Clifford.

That he was about as aware of his surroundings as a bowl of mustard greens awaiting the pot didn’t stop the state of Arkansas from indicting him for murder, trying him for murder, convicting him of murder, and sentencing him to death in the electric chair for said heinous crimes.

You don’t have to be a “Constitutional scholar” to know that there are 2 fatal flaws in the due process of the trial, the conviction, and the subsequent execution of a Black man with an IQ of less than 60. They are:

#1 – He was incapable of understanding the charges against him.

#2 – In no way could he assist in his defense.

My copy of the Constitution covers the above quite nicely in the 5^th and 6^th Amendments. Look them up.

Today is the 800^th anniversary of the Magna Carta. It is remembered because it was the first time that government agreed to be bound by its citizens. The “wish of the Prince” did not always have the force of Law.

Ricky Ray Rector became the darling of the Death Row guards. His sweet nature, his good manners, and the total absence of whining were the reasons.

The first 2 were caused by his own hand.

The 3^rd was because he was incapable of understanding what was behind the door at the end of the long corridor.

Appeals to the Governor were ignored because said Governor wanted to prove to the country that a Democratic Governor could be tough on crime. Ricky Ray Rector drew the ultimate short straw.

He didn’t finish the dessert portion of his last meal because he wanted to save some for when he returned. A guard told him to finish it because he was going to be gone for a long time.

There is a marvelous apocryphal story about the Governor’s wife volunteering to give him a lap dance in the chair should he become unruly. The thought of it is sufficient to invoke the 8^th Amendment. If it isn’t true it should be.

You’ve probably guessed by now that the Governor was Handsome Billy Clinton from Hot Springs, the King of the one-eyed trouser snakes and the calculating ux was Hillary the Queen of all vipers. Too bad Kipling wasn’t around.

As to Justice Marshall…

Let us stipulate that he was the best trial lawyer to serve on the Supreme Court in the 20^th century. That makes what he did as a Justice all the more painful.

A vote in favor of Roe was a vote in favor of abortion.

Since 1973 there have been some 65,000,000 abortions. Between 35% and 40% of them have been done on Black women who make up about 6% of the population. If we are to believe government statistics the Black men required for conception were nowhere to be found after the post-coital cigarette. Perhaps as many as 25,000,000 Black babies – a future Thomas Sowell? A future Michelle Obama? – were last seen circling the abattoir’s drain.

In 1000 millennia all the racist White cops in this country could never approach that number.

Justice Marshall wrote in his opinion that abortion was good for Black folk because it mean that they would not have to grow up in Amerika.

Somewhere Margaret Sanger is smiling. As the prime source for the 1934 Nuremberg Race Laws she was always advocating getting rid of undesirable. She is smiling because the herd is busy culling itself.

There is a classic scene in the Seinfeld episode where George Costanza, the paragon of both personal conduct and public policy, tramples a few wheelchair-bound senior citizens and a bunch of preschoolers to avoid a kitchen fire.

The fireman says, “How can you live with yourself”?

“It’s hard”, he says.

I’ll end on an up note.

Bruce/Caitlin Jenner and now Rachel Donegal have inspired me to make a fundamental change in my life.

I’ve decided to change my ethnic and racial makeup.

Both my parents, all of my grandparents and great grandparents, as far back as anyone can see, were Irish. I’ll not mention any pigs but it is impossible to be anymore Irish than I am. 

It is approaching wretched excess.

I have decided to stay 60% Irish. I now declare myself 35% Italian. The balance is to be distributed evenly between being Jewish, being Polish/Lithuanian, being Ibo/Zulu, and being Chiricahua Apache. [I once named a cat Sharpton in honor of you know who. The next feline will be called Cochise]

I am investigating what Federal resources will be available to me. I will share these – for a small fee – with anyone looking to jump into the diverse Rainbow stew pot.

Can I count on you to be a sponsor?

Kevin Smith 

June 14, 2015

Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz

10100 Pembroke Pines Boulevard

Pembroke Pines, FL 33025

RE: “I know that my Redeemer liveth” – Some comments on your typical modern American Liberal verbal incontinence concerning Jeb Bush.

Debbie, Debbie,

“Former Governor Jeb bush ‘only cares about

himself,’ Wasserman-Schultz said. ‘He never has

and never will fight for families like yours or mine.’

She said Democrats would help introduce Bush to the

nation and ‘the more people learn about Jeb Bush,

and we’ll be happy to point it out, the less people 

are going to like him.’”

The Sun Sentinel

Page 2B

Today

You

I was feeling downcast this morning. 

I thought I’d be arm wrestling with the old ennui, particularly after losing 2 baby manatees from my traps. I figured I would have to pay retail for my sushi. I donned last year’s Father’s Day present, my PROUD GLOBAL WARMER cap, and turned to my Koch Brothers guide to increasing my Carbon Footprint and drowning a few polar bears before doing my best to add to income inequality – How you put up with being paid 78% of what Congressman Alcee Hastings, Florida’s favorite elected felon, makes is beyond me – teenage obesity, and what to make of someone who is transgendered becoming a cross dresser.

But then you came along, with your perpetual Medusa-like countenance, to buttress the universal truth that modern American Liberals, vipers such as you, piss, perpetually, on people’s backs while telling them, accompanied either by Happy Days are Here Again or Don’t Stop Thinking About Tomorrow, that it’s rain

To which I say…BULLSHIT!

You imply that your kids would have qualified for free lunches – assuming they had gone to any of the really fine public schools in Broward County – and that you work 3 days a week on your telephone playing the pitcher on the 1-800-RammingSpeed hot line.

Despite claiming to have 2 degrees your CV says that you have never worked a day in your life. It appears that you had tuition bills of $75,000 a year when your kids went to a private grammar school. Your husband is an officer and director of a bank that would not pass the famous “bag test” save for there being a corrupt Justice department. He gives crony capitalism a bad name.

I hold no brief for Jeb Bush. On the other hand anyone who grew up in Midland, Texas can’t be all bad. [I came to know Midland 4 decades ago when I was busy fracking wells out there. It, like Bayonne, is a good town to be from.] Yet you say that “the more people know about Jeb the less people will dislike him”.

If I were to mention Orwell would you think me an elitist?

He said that if you control the past you control the future.

If memory serves, and Deo Gratias for Google, wasn’t Jeb Bush elected and then re-elected as the Governor of Florida. 

Maybe they won’t like him in Gramercy Park or Zabar’s but they sure as Hell liked him in Florida.

Since it appears that this year’s Summer of Recovery will be late perhaps you can spend the time retroactively unelecting him.

You believed that free speech was reserved for you, remember?

I’ll check in from time to time.

Kevin Smith

PS – Should Kipling, the first multi-cultural Nobel Prize winning poet, reappear he would use you as a model for the updated Rikki-Tikki-Tavi stories. Guess which part you would have? Give up? Send a SASE.

 

June 14, 2015

Hillary Clinton

Ready PAC

PO Box 7705

McLean, VA 22106

RE: FDR as a role model”

You have the persistency of a stopped watch being right twice a day.

You spoke glowingly, almost tumescently, of the “vision” of Franklin Roosevelt and how it was updated, “reset” if you will, by Chicago’s most successful community organizer, the former Barry Soetoro.

Didn’t you use to channel Eleanor Roosevelt when you were in the White House?

The one thing you had in common was a never ending bimbo eruption with both of you wondering which bird was in the Oval Office for, as the Brits say, “a bit of a gobble”.

He was long dead before his afternoon horizontal tango sessions, and from a wheel chair no less, became known. Handsome Billy from Hot Springs got caught. Since he would hump a snake if someone held its head the American Disabilities Act could have forgiven him for being a serial philanderer and a perjurer.

But I digress.

Are you speaking of Roosevelt’s domestic agenda or his foreign policy?

#1 – Any and all objective standards, things such as total employment, total unemployment, bankruptcies, patents issued, businesses started, profits, dividends, taxes collected – God’s Holy Trousers but the list is endless! – scream that 6 years into the New Deal everything, no exceptions, everything was down from when he was inaugurated. The trend lines were all down, down, and down. A strong case could be made for the Depression beginning to end when Boeing went to 3 shifts at its Wichita B-17 plant.

Look it up.

#2 – Franklin Roosevelt sent 900 German Jews to the Nazi gulag, to the gas showers and then to the ovens when he refused to let the steam ship Saint Louis land at an American port.

How can you top that?

I’m not sure but, given the chance, you will, you will.

Do you know where Barry left the red paint? He used it to draw a line in the sand, remember? How’s that working out?

“We have had to choose between war and shame.

We have chosen shame; we will get war.”

I’ll check in from time to time to see how you are doing.

Your pal,

Kevin Smith

Tomorrow is Bloomsday and, yes, you can celebrate with either Molly, yes, or Buck

June 4, 1942  -  June 4, 2015

Let us now praise valiant men, particularly those still on patrol.

Salamis – 480

Lepanto – 1571

The Armada – 1588

Trafalgar – 1805

When a naval battle is over there is usually no trace of its ferocity and its carnage. The sea yawns, swallows the dead, and goes about its business. The thing about naval battles, big ones, is that flags change or, more importantly, don’t change.

In each of the above mentioned battles an outnumbered defender stopped a mighty power from imposing its will on those it was defending. 

The Battle of Midway is the greatest day in the History of the United States Navy. Roosevelt was “lucky” he sent Nimitz to Pearl Harbor with a simple set of instructions: Don’t come home until you have won. Nimitz was “lucky” his 2 Admirals – Spruance and Fletcher – though polar opposites in everything else, complemented each other perfectly that day. America was “lucky” to have had men who lived up to the words

“And how can man die better 

Than facing fearful odds

For the ashes of his father 

And the temple of his Gods”

Anchors Aweigh!

KS

“Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained

him through temporary periods of joy.”

William Butler Yeats

May 30, 2015

Judge K. Michael Moore

400 North Miami Avenue

Miami, FL 33128

It is my intention to celebrate the freedoms that are ours at birth – a “gift from beyond the stars”, if you will – and enumerated in our Constitution on July 4, 2015. I can think of no better place to do this than on the steps of the Federal Courthouse in Ft. Lauderdale.

We can also celebrate the 800^th anniversary of Magna Carta. The marker set down there, that men can limit what a government can do, was enshrined in our Constitution. If we don’t exercise our freedoms we risk losing them through atrophy. If we are afraid to speak for fear of offending others we have done the work of the statist thugs who would enslave us

Subject to last minute changes the demonstration of freedom – “Free men speak with free tongues”, no? -  will consist of the burning of an American flag in which is wrapped a Bible and a Koran. Several containers of pig piss, Kosher if possible, will be nearby should the fire get out of control.

As Chief Federal Judge of the Southern District of Florida I would be honored to have you in attendance.

Kevin Smith

May 30, 2015

Judge Peter Weinstein

201 SE 6^th Street

Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301

Judge Weinstein,

It is my intention to celebrate the freedoms that are ours at birth – gifts “from beyond the stars”, if you will – and enumerated in our Constitution on July 4^th, 2015 I can think of no better place to do this than the steps of the Courthouse in Fort Lauderdale, FL.

We can also celebrate the 800^th anniversary of the Magna Carta. That there is a straight line from that document to our Constitution is Historically self-evident. The precedent of limiting government must be preserved, protected, and expanded. Either we bind governments by the chains of law or we will be bound by it.

Final details have not been worked out but it will be some combination of an American flag, a Bible, and a Koran. I will wrap the last two – sacred, secular, or profane – in the flag and then set them ablaze. I will have a gallon of pig piss, Kosher if possible, nearby should the fire get out of control.

I would be honored to have you as the Chief Judge of the 17^th Judicial District of Florida join me on the steps to proclaim freedom throughout the land.

Kevin Smith

May 31, 2015

Senator Bernie Sanders

357 Western Avenue – 1B

St. Johnsbury, VT 05819

RE: My Mom was right!

Senator Sanders, 

“If you keep your mouth shut people might think you are a fool. If you open it there will be no doubt.”

Your public opposition to the perverse mendacity of multiple choices in deodorant and sneakers is breathtaking. On its face it has earned you permanent status as 

HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK.

You also qualify for the second of my 3 awards. I hereby declare you

POMPOUS FART OF THE MONTH.

You got this much sought after honor the old fashioned way: You earned it!

Anyone who can stand in front of a national TV audience and tell them that they are stupid and selfish is further proof that if you trend-line any or all of the basic tenets of the dreaded modern American Liberalism hugely addictive venom you are on the one way express to a Wasteland filled with the remains of the victims of  Lenin, Stalin, Mussolini, Hitler, Mao, Peron, Castro, Pol Pot, Chavez, inter alia.

What is the thread that binds these murderers, these comic nit-wits, these feral destroyers of dreams? They all suffer from the Fatal Conceit of knowing and believing that they and they alone possess more knowledge then all the untermenschen they rule.

Free men making free decisions, based on what they believe to be in their best rational self-interest, is like sunlight to a vampire. 

Orwell told us that “the solid world exists. Its laws do not change. Stones are hard, water is wet…if that is granted all else follows”.

Welcome to the alternative universe of Senator Sanders! It is a world where the rules governing gravity are subject to change annually. If the Congress won’t go along you can always use your phone and your pen as President B.O. does.

“Midnight Basketball”, Solyndra, “reset” foreign relations, blaming White cops when Black people kill other Black people….and you pick deodorant and sneakers to start your campaign?

God’s Holy Trousers but you are Brobdanaglianly dumb.

I did not give you my most coveted award. I did not name you

SMARMY BASTARD OF THE YEAR

because you obviously believe all the Jabberwocky jackassery you spew. 

Do you remember back in the early ‘70s when the biggest problem we faced was Global Cooling? A really smart guy, Professor Paul R. Ehrlich, told us that we were all going to die, either by starvation or by freezing, by the year 2000? I report to you that my A/C is on and I am still calorically challenged. One of my favorite past times was to release a healthy dollop of Right Guard deodorant out my bath room window after my AM ablutions. After 45 years it is time to admit that I was wrong. That feels good.

Do you think the President was correct when he told the graduating class of the United States Coast Guard Academy that Climate Change was the biggest threat facing the country?

Of course you do.

Your solution is simple and direct. And it goes without saying, which is why it must be said, that is wrong. Your head is so far up your ass that you could trim your nose hair from the inside. 

Whatever the problem the solution is the same. 

Increase taxes exponentially in the desire to make the rich poor. That way you can make the poor rich enough to fart through silk. And everybody in the country, whether they are here legally or illegally, gets a quart of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream – Do you think they have too many flavors? – plus free college and a machine that turns rain water into beer. A machine that makes $20 dollar bills will be ready before the beginning of your second term. Honest

A special tax on the Koch Brothers will easily pay for this. 

I look forward to following your campaign with much amusement, you boob.

Kevin Smith

May 25, 1945 – May 25, 2015

He died quick and he died clean. It probably was a Japanese Type 98 mortar that took the upper right quadrant  of his torso off. 

They shall not grow old, as we that are left grow old:

Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.

At the going down of the sun and in the morning

We will remember them.

Laurence Binyon

I never met him. I was not even 2 when he was killed. I knew his wife for less than 2 years before she died. Inter alia, there was large box that came with some old furniture and some cutlery that I still use. The scroll hangs on my wall.

There was also a scroll signed by the President of the United States and a picture of a simple grave marker.

He stands in the unbroken line of patriots

Who have dared to die that freedom might live, 

And grow, and increase its blessings.

FREEDOM LIVES, AND THROUGH IT HE LIVES-

In a way that humbles the undertakings of most men.

Harry S. Truman

The grave marker reads:

Leonard W. Putnam

New Jersey

CPL US ARMY

World War 11

Nov 12, 1902   May 25, 1945

Raise a glass and offer a prayer to the memory of a 42 year old piano salesman 

“Why us, Sarge? Why us?

Because we’re here lad. Because we’re here.”

KS