Lil' Debbie

January 23, 2008

Congressperson Debbie Wasserman-Schultz

10100 Pines Boulevard

Pembroke Pines, Florida 33028

RE: A role model, a “paradigmatic template” if you will, should you decide to raise your “Liberal Fascist” standards.

Congressperson Wasserman-Schultz,

Let me tell you about Jon Corzine, the Governor of New Jersey.

As a proud son of the Garden State, born and raised in Bayonne, hard by Exit 14, I am pleased whenever a son of Area Code 201 does well.

He made a bundle on Wall Street and then he got bored. Since he was as thoroughly a modern American Liberal as you he always sought a wider audience for his nostrums. He decided that the United States Senate was a good a place as any to preach. He went about getting a seat there in a typical modern American Liberal dilettantish way. He bought it. He gave every Black minister in New Jersey who wasn’t dead or in prison an envelope with $25,000 in it. He wanted to be introduced to each minister’s congregation. It worked. He got elected.

Then he got bored again.

A few sacks of pelf were spread around and POOF! he was Governor of New Jersey. [There are some delightful side stories of a tossed aside wife, a va-voom lady friend, about a million dollars, a forgiven mortgage of $500,000, a few tuition bills and the willing suspension of disbelief but I’m saving them for the musical. It has a working title of “What a Country! That’s why you never see anybody swimming to Cuba”]

One of his ideas to get blood from a stone is the “monetization of assets” If he can’t do a sale-lease back of the venerable New Jersey Turnpike and the idyllic Garden State Parkway he intends to bond the bejeezuz out of both of them by pledging future tolls and future toll increases as collateral for income today. He will use the money to pay current expenses.

Some people in New Jersey don’t think this is a good idea.

The Governor, in true modern American Liberal fashion – think Woodrow Wilson, an adopted son of New Jersey, trying to convince the country that the League of Nations was a good idea, think Franklin Delano Roosevelt trying to convince the country that packing the Supreme Court was a good idea, think Jimmy Carter trying to convince the country that wearing a sweater and playing tonsil hockey with Brezhnev was a good idea – is traveling around my fair state trying to convince people that the best way to keep your feet warm in the winter is to cut a foot off the top of your blanket and sew it on to the bottom.

Enter Steve Lonegan.

He doesn’t think the Governor’s idea is a good one. In fact, he thinks it is a terrible idea. He also believes that “Free men speak with free tongues”. Unfortunately that is an idea that to modern American Liberals is like holy water to a vampire.

He went to a meeting in Cape May sponsored by the Governor to rally support for his plan. The meeting was held in a public school. He wanted to exercise his right, a right that is his from beyond the stars, to “petition for a redress of grievances”.

He never got into the public school.

He was handcuffed and held for 2 hours in the local police station.

The local police said they were acting on the Governor Corzine’s staff’s orders. The Governor’s staff said they knew nothing. In true Sgt. Schultz fashion the Governor said he knew nothing.

The principal of the public school told Mr. Lonegan that it was private property and that he couldn’t come to a public meeting in a public school presumably funded by the public.

To make sure he got the point the police arrested him. They took him in handcuffs to the local police station where they held him for 2 hours. It is not known if the police had time to waterboard him properly.

His arrest was witnessed by a New Jersey Superior Court Judge. If said Judge had tried that in his court room he would have had his black robed ass tossed down the front steps of the Court House faster than you can say “Liberal Fascist”.

As Nat Hentoff still says

“Free Speech For Me But Not For Thee”

I tell you this because I remember, “with advantages”, the morning of September 18, 2001. That was the day you sent Agents Thomas and Pineva of the Florida Department of Law Enforcement because of something I wrote about you. To be clear these men had badges and guns. Since I wasn’t arrested and handcuffed I guess I was lucky.

Did I just say “lucky”?

And to think we worry about those WOGs in Camp Gitmo!

As a member of Congress you have access to Federal “juice”. Should I get you mad again who knows what plans you have in store? Since I live on the Intracoastal I fully expect to be visited by a 4 man SEAL squad from the water and a Delta Force team from the land.

I think you’re a bit thin to don hob-nail boots. I bet you look smashing in a Brown shirt.