Congressperson Debbie Wasserman-Schultz

March 14, 2008

Congressperson Debbie Wasserman-Schultz

10100 Pembroke Pines Boulevard

Pembroke Pines, Florida 33028

RE: Campaign Strategy

My Dear Ms. Wormwood,

BRILLIANT!

ABSOLUTELY FRIGGIN’ BRILLIANT!

Like the mother cobra in Rikki Tikki Tavi…like Elsa teaching her cubs how to take down a gazelle…like they have done since the early days in Arkansas…”Fly not to the devil you know not”…Whatever it takes to get’er done…Just do it…brilliant.

By the time we get to the Pennsylvania primary there will be pictures of Mrs. B Hussein Obama working the pole at Bada Bing South. There will be pictures of his whelps learning pick pocket techniques at Camp Grifter. There will be DNA evidence that his father’s uncle was Idi Amin. His membership card in the “GO OJ” fan club will mysteriously reappear. Brilliant.

Getting Geraldine Zucchini-Fellini to put her good set of robes son may have been a bit over the top but, compared to what’s coming, it will look like a day at the beach.

I understand that Archie Bunker will be endorsing Hillary the Hecuba in exchange for getting the first official Paki-Bashing franchise.

Next out of the box will be Senator Robert Byrd [Democrat – West Virginia] He will sing Dixie while he burns a cross. Out of deference to younger viewers the only person he will flog will be a cast iron, nappy headed lawn jockey who answers to the name Dred Scott.

Brilliant!

Meanwhile, back in Broward, a problem, “slightly larger than a man’s fist against the horizon”, is simmering.

If you take just the voting records Broward County is Malibu East or Zabar’s South. The intellectualoids down here would vote for Dr. Mengele because of his progressive views on abortion. Alas, in terms of everyday applications of modern American Liberal promises of Kumbaya, they are about as reliable as the marital vows of the Governor of New York or, in a bow to Affirmative Action, the Mayor of Detroit.

I’ve been here since 1996. There are two things I still don’t quite get.

#1 – Hospital districts

#2 – Unincorporated areas

Let’s leave #1 alone for the nonce.

I remember that certain “unincorporated areas” put themselves up for bid in the late ‘90s. Contiguous towns assemble packages as if these areas were like NFL Pro Bowl free agents. It became obvious that no one wanted the…what term can we use without offending anyone?…drat…there isn’t any…Black areas.

The prosperous Black areas had sewer connections while the poorer ones had septic systems. Some of the areas made Section 8 housing look like Weston. A twice removed step child was treated better. This didn’t seem to bother the Broward modern American Liberal collective conscience like aging, soon to be Terri Schiavoed, greyhounds did.

After all the low hanging fruit was plucked the problem of what to do with them was still there. Like a big bobbing turd in the punch bowl it kept coming back at the worst time.

One of the unwritten rules of modern American Liberalism is that down South White folk don’t care how close Black folk get as long as they don’t get too big. Up North White folk don’t car how big Black folk get as long as they don’t get too close.

To answer the unasked question Broward County is part of the North.

Faulkner, Tate, Warren, Percy, the list could go on and on, but they would not recognize Broward County. It may be in the South but it is not of the South. The waxing and the waning are of the modern American Liberal Northern tradition. Harriet Van Horne would have loved this place.

Thus, the Broward County legislative solution of what to do with “them” was brilliant. I mean it was beyond brilliant.

Stacy Ritter.

They put Stacy Ritter in charge of finding a legislative solution to annexing unincorporated areas.

Her only chance of answering the question “What color is an orange?” if it were multiple choice. Professor Irwin Corey writes her speeches. The woman regularly gets lost on a ladder. The placement of the limo [that’s the big car with the family in it] and the hearse [that’s the not quite as big a car with the guest of honor in it taking a horizontal nap] in a 2 car funeral would cause her to have a near terminal case of the vapors. She is the poster girl for dumb blondes. She is the paradigmatic template of, as Johnson said, “an unidea’d girl”.

Brilliant. Simply brilliant.

That’s not the Broward issue I want to tell you about.

School enrollment in Broward has been declining for 4 years. Lenin, the noted social activist and Obama campaign volunteer, said “People vote with their feet”. Tumultuous real estate markets and crazy mortgage issues notwithstanding, people make decisions on where to live based on what schools their children will go to. [This wouldn’t affect you since your children don’t go to public school. It is one of the little mysteries of life why the Teachers union, surely as special an interest group as any of the “bad” interest groups, don’t confront you on this. I suspect something Mephistophelean may be afoot here]

The net result is this. 3 high schools are bursting at the seams while one – Plantation - their nickname is “The Colonels”, something that should warm the hearts of all Hillary supporters – is fast emptying out. It will be the next Dillard or Boyd Anderson. That is to say, it will have a 104% African-American student body for whom the FCATs will be deemed the moral equivalent of the Runaway Slave Law. Here’s hoping they don’t have Pass Laws.

Even though the total number of students in Broward is declining the total number of dollars spent on education will not go down. The amount per pupil will go up. That number will still pale in comparison to the per capita student expenditure in Washington, DC. Why not have Harridan Hillary go to the school that the Obama girls will go to should their father be elected? Why not have her say that if she could do it over her daughter would go there? The bobo boobs will eat it up.

I thought I’d let you know this because you have so much on your plate what with getting George Wallace and Bull Connor gussied up for the endorsement photo of them with Hillary.

My ideas are starting to flow like spring wine. Stay tuned. They are all predicated on the moral relativism – My favorite color is plaid – genetically implanted in modern American Liberals.