Stephen L. Goldstein The Sun-Sentinel

January 18, 2010

Stephen L. Goldstein
The Sun-Sentinel
200 East Las Olas Boulevard
Fort Lauderdale, Florida 33301

RE: Tone deaf, a Pompous Fart, or both? A day after look at your column of 1/17/10 on football, “misplaced priorities”, educational woes, and why you don’t know Jack about the infield fly rule.

My dear Professor,

It is at least 50 years since Jacques Barzun said, “If you want to know America, you must know baseball”. Since he said it before microwave popcorn or Microsoft I rather imagine he would include the Super Bowl and NASCAR should he care to update his dictum.

“I’ve never understood anyone’s fascination with football.”
“It’s a game for sissies.”
“Real men have the guts to play rugby.”
“I also don’t understand fan mentality.”
Sun-Sentinel
Sunday
You

Because you don’t “understand” it doesn’t mean it’s wrong. There is much to be said for the discipline of a team sport. At its core, it demands the subordination of the individual to a higher goal. The individual voluntarily accepts this dedication to perceived greater good. The Iron Duke said that “Waterloo was decided on the playing fields of Eton”. General McArthutr once asked for a volunteer for a dangerous mission. “Get me an Army football player” was his only criterion

As the paradigmatic template of modern American Liberalism I know that one of your problems with football is that, in the end, excellence prevails. Score is kept. The team with the most points at the end wins. There is no “affirmative action” plan for picking wedge busters. Pass blocking is a harsh task master. If your quarterback’s jersey is dirty you have not been doing your job very well. Running back punts is normally not a subject for judicial review.

You say “it’s a game for sissies”. That statement presupposes that you have never been hit in the throat by a forearm.

Lyndon Johnson was President the last time I played competitive rugby. I am down to not quite one good leg left. If I were to see you on the other side of a scrum it would give me the strength of ten.

I saw the way some fans dressed at the NFL playoff games this weekend. It was as if the Village People were running a costume call for La Cage aux Folles. Several things should be self evident, even to you.

A – They were all adults who chose to dress like that.
B – Some of the outfits were amusing.
C – What harm is done? I’ll bet that some Stimulus money was involved.
D – Perhaps if you were to dress up as a Raider fan you might have a different view of it. You may want to try a weekend as the San Diego chicken first.

Bear Bryant said that football didn’t build character. It revealed it. He also said that whatever his salary was the university President was to be paid $1 more.

As to a “Super Bowl of Learning” let me tell you that the co-captains of my high school team – Marist High School of Bayonne, New Jersey – each has a Ph.D.

Would that high school academics were held to the same standard as the football coach! At the end of the year his record determines whether or not he keeps his job. There is an accounting of his stewardship. Teachers who can’t teach and administrators who can’t lead are given a pass year after year. If the football coach goes 1 and 8 two years on a row his next job is at an insurance agency.

I can see why the sound made by fans on the right side of the score would be alien to you. Your cure for teenage unemployment is a higher minimum wage. You believe, achingly so, that we can tax our way to prosperity. Your attempt to level the playing field for high school football would have Barney Frank as the prototypical head coach.

You say that we should “start appreciating brains”. This may come as a shock to you but the last 4 Presidents hold 6 degrees from Ivy League schools.

I don’t think any of them ever played football.




Kevin Smith