E. J. Dionne The Washington Post Writers Group

February 8, 2010

E. J. Dionne
The Washington Post Writers Group
1150 15th Street, NW
Washington, D.C. 20017

RE: “All them corn fields and ballet at night” – One more attempt to show that hope can overcome experience. Some comments on your laudatory column on Joey Biden in today’s Miami Herald.

Mr. Dionne,

It being less than 12 hours since the Super Bowl, and what were those two ancient English farts shrieking about anyway – Weren’t they with Churchill at Omdurman? – we’ll have to wait ‘til Wednesday before the obligatory paeans to Lord Barack the Beneficent for inspiring the Saints to infuse New Orleans with the power to make the levees stronger, the oysters sweeter, and the 9th Ward positively Elysian.

By the by, why should an obviously religious name, the Saints, and a patently religious symbol, the Cross, get a pass from the keepers of the tablets at the modern American Liberal Church of Secular Humanism? NFL stadiums are built with public funds. The United States Air Force, an institution completely funded by American taxpayers, sent 4 F-16s screaming over the stadium. Who knows what size that carbon footprint was? Who knows how many poor, pitiful polar bears will sleep with the fishes tonight because of this? This is a “slippery slope” I don’t wish to encounter. The “chilling effect” may be fatal.

Ergo, I am thankful for small blessings such as you telling me in today’s Miami Herald that Curley Biden [I call him Curley in honor of the smartest stooge] is “tired of seeing the Obama administration’s stimulus plan demeaned, derided, and dismissed…”

With a nod to the almost forgotten art of alliteration I posit a theory beautifully simple in its construct.

I suggest the reason why it and he are “demeaned, derided, and dismissed” is simple. They earned it.

Curley Biden, despite his blue collar, working class, Joe Hill claims went to an exclusive Catholic prep school. His classmates still recall him by his year book nick name “Cheese Dick”. Although I have several authoritative sources that must remain anonymous I can’t find out how he got his endearingly enduring sobriquet. The man has been a neddy nit-wit since Eisenhower was President.

As to the “plan” its “demeaned, derided, and dismissed” status is empirically self evident. This dog won’t hunt.

We were told in January, 2009, when the unemployment rate was 7.2%, that said rate would not go beyond 8%. We were told that gazillions of dollars would go into “shovel ready” projects by last year’s Ash Wednesday. Maybe the money went to buttress “hope” and encourage “change”. Wherever it went it did not go into jobs. If it had and if it worked we not have had a 25% percent increase in unemployment.

The one good thing he did was to borrow the money from the Chinese. If we borrow enough we will make AIG, Bear Stearns, Fannie and Freddy, General Motors, and Chrysler look like modern day versions of Scrooge and Marley. Perhaps our salvation will come when the Chinese bail us out. Chairman Mao, always thought to be divine, will rise from the dead and tell us he warned Nixon about this. The Chinese, being a circumspect people, will air brush the Great Wall bulge in his pants out of the official photos.

In your interview with Boob Biden could you say with as little as 50% metaphysical certitude that he could find his ass using two hands [his] without someone holding multiple mirrors and giving him instructions?


Kevin Smith



PS – You say that Biden, the poster boy for uncloseted ohmandahns, “ably defended how the stimulus money had been spent and what it had accomplished”. Can you share some of the “Inside the Beltway” info with me? No one – repeat – no one South or West of the Potomac knows what the Hell you are talking about. Deo volente it will snow in D.C. for 6 more weeks.