Senator Lee Constantine

February 17, 2010

Senator Lee Constantine
378 Centerpointe Circle
Altamonte Springs, Florida 32701-3442

RE: “Such stupidity, sir, is not found in nature.” A comment on today’s Miami Herald article about your brave fight to undo the Industrial Revolution.

Senator Constantine,

Thank you for renewing my faith in the two party system.

For the longest time I thought that public horses’ asses were all Democrats. You, with your statements on the raging controversy known as paper v plastic, have changed that. You should be very proud that you have earned the distinction of being the first statewide Republican to win a most coveted award.

I hereby name you

HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK.

Alas, there is no longer a purse attached to this award. All of the Foundation’s available funds go to increase the size of the hole in the ozone. If it doesn’t help the drowning polar bears it may be of some use to the albino unicorns in their Sisyphean quest for melanin.

Once you ban plastic bags in Florida may I be the first to suggest that you ban plastic in hospitals. The next time you’re in one take a peek at how many long strand polymers go into health care. Why not have the legislature ban reimbursements to any health facility that still uses it? That will get their attention. I enclose a plastic bag for you to dispose of in an environmentally sensitive manner.




Kevin Smith