Broward County is Ground Zero for modern American Liberalism.

January 22, 2012

Broward County is Ground Zero for modern American Liberalism. It is the mother lode for HORSES ASSES who believe, like Lysenko, that animate objects, things like turnips, like men, can be conditioned by a good government to exceed their capacities and benefit all society.
When registering as Democrats all 18 year olds in Broward County take a blood oath swearing allegiance to the innocence of Alger Hiss, the validity of price controls, a 105% tax bracket, the ability to spread wealth around without first “creating” it, that the War on Poverty needs but one more big push to break through the enemy’s lines, that Republicans are evil, that Bobby Kennedy never worked for Joe McCarthy, that the undeserving poor, particularly women and minorities, need an extra helping hand to get them through the day, that Wal*Mart’s $4 prescription plan and cheaper prices for everything else notwithstanding, it hurts poor people, particularly women of color with children in need of a good Ritalin program who are discriminated against by the lack of a public transit system, that “Custer died for our sins”, that Julie and Ethel were not only fried they were screwed, that oil companies want to kill everybody on this planet and on all others, and that all things are possible if good men [and women] just want it badly enough. OOPS! I almost forgot. The right of women to have a 5th trimester abortions shall not be infringed.

It is a self-evident fact that Broward County Democrats – modern American Liberals all – would vote for Josef Mengele, M.D. because of his progressive views on women’s reproductive rights.

Modern American Liberals have an astonishing gift. Cognitive dissonance allows them to function reasonably well – Did I say “shovel ready”? You knew I was kidding, didn’t you? - while holding distinctly disparate definitions of reality. One of them is that they universally like mankind. It’s the individual man or men with whom they have trouble. The other one is that the only acceptable deity is Gaia. To Hell with men as long as the furbish lousewort, inter alia, thrives is an article of faith for all card carrying, fire breathing mALs.

I offer Page One of this morning’s Sun-Sentinel as proof of my major premise.

There are five Page One stories.

#1 – If you sit up straight your back won’t hurt as much. Honest. Page One.
#2 – Hispanic vanity license plates are not best sellers. Honest. Page One.
#3 – Gingrich won South Carolina. Florida is next.

#4 involves shuttering a long running business and evicting long term tenants to build a park, said park being built for the enjoyment of other citizens.


I have been in Broward County for 16 years. As a lark, when dim bulb Miriam Oliphant ran the elections bureau and to validate my Hudson County roots, I got multiple voter ID cards. In 1998 I took advantage of the aggressive Affirmative Action programs of Tri-Rail, Broward County, the Broward County Board of Education, and Broward County itself to place myself at the head of the line when it was chow time. It was like there was an uncovered lactating mammary waiting to be covered by an enterprising minority. I quickly add that while my toes were on the line of illegality I did not cross it.

The other two things I still don’t understand are hospital districts and unincorporated areas.

I know that relations between the South district and the North district are similar to the relations between South Korea and North Korea.

I know that 19 years ago there was a bidding war among cities to annex the richer unincorporated areas. I remember that residents of Bonaventure were treated like Iowa caucus members. Weston won their allegiance. Would you believe that in a county where Kumbaya a capella opens the County Commission meetings nobody wanted the 3rd World areas? 3rd World is a synonym for Blacks and White Trash.

A few miles west of the end of Griffin Road sits Everglades Holiday Park. It lacks a zip code, a stop sign, a vegan restaurant, or a hair salon. What it does have is several floating docks with air boats moored to them. If you want to see where the pythons roam and the gators play just buy a ticket and go. It also has a gift shop that has its forebears in Cajun Country. It also has about 60 RVs and trailers that are home to their occupants.

Broward County wants to save the village by burning it down.

It may be legal but, by God, it’s not right.

We are reminded constantly that the Constitution is a living document. Further, Justice Brennan discovered “penumbras” and “emanations” that suggested new rights.
Here’s one: The Right to be left alone.

No one who lives there was drafted. It’s an all-volunteer community. Along comes Mrs. Grundy and some snot nosed technocrat who say with a straight face that they are from the government and they are here to help you. They decide that the greater good will be better served by dispossessing up to 100 people. Why do I feel that the same Logic would not apply to Lighthouse Point or Las Olas Boulevard? I feel that way because I always can tell the buttered side from the dry.

Broward County, a place where you can always get a good picture of our elected officials by visiting your local post office, is on the hook for repairs to the Taj Mahal hockey rink and rock arena. In the real world tenants pay the cost of capital improvements in the form of higher rent. In this case Broward County paid for the hockey rink and then gave it to the company that owned the team. Although the private company benefited mightily from this gift the donor was responsible for the upkeep, maintenance, and improvements. At least the city fathers of Plantation, where the arena is located, were able to grab a few goodies like free tickets and the comped use of several boxes for the rock shows.

It would have been better if Broward County had bought some Greek bonds. At least they’re liquid.

The great Dr. Johnson said “Such stupidity is not found in nature”. He never did get to see Broward County.

#5 involves placing the interests of turtles above men.

Cole Porter asked the question without knowing the answer. “Is it the real turtle soup or only the mock?”

We can stipulate that the inlet from the Intercostal to the ocean at Hillsboro Light can be treacherous. [The sailor’s plaintive cry to God for help – “Lord remember me. They sea is so vast and my boat is so small” – is heard again and again. This week the largest floating object ever made by man floundered in Mare Nostrum.] 4 tide changes a day, cross currents, two way traffic – Sometimes it is not always fair seas and following winds – make the sea a cruel and unforgiving mistress.

30 centuries ago men put lights on hills so that sailors would have at least one fixed point to steer by.

Today men want to take down the light so as to let turtles do their midnight meandering.

There is a legitimate dispute as to which word best describes this. Lunacy and madness both have zealous supporters. I have no particular favorite. Either one will do. In fact both will do.

The fraud perpetrated by Rachel Carson in her 1962 science fiction novel “Silent Spring” lives on.

The side that proclaims the turtle as numero uno, a step up from primus inter pares, is ably defended by someone with the majestic name of Richard White Cloud. I am sure that Manitou told him that the round eyes were saps. After shooting themselves in both feet they then cut their noses off to show their solidarity with the Luddite tree-huggers.

Only a people with their heads so far up their asses that they could do a face lift from the inside believe in such flapdoodle. Such balderdash makes one’s fingernails curl backwards.

God bless the turtles! Help them grow plump. Help them grow sweet. The highest use of a turtle is in a soup pot. Serve it with a dollop of sherry or port. That’s why God made them. He certainly didn’t make them for their looks. They won’t get you the morning paper. I have yet to come across a Seeing Eye turtle.

If turtle protectors want to turn the lights off why don’t we outlaw sea raptors who dine on them? The birds can eat them but man has to grope in the dark when coming back from the ocean?

In Broward County the two legged boobies indeed run the hatch.

It may be too late to retire to Bedlam. Bedlam is here.




KS