Anthony W. Orlando The Sun Sentinel

April 8, 2012
Anthony W. Orlando
The Sun Sentinel

RE: Howard Zinn & O.J. Simpson – There is a connection. Some comments on your amusing column of April 6, 2012

My dear Professor,

I saw a yellow ribbon tied around some Easter flowers and it dawned on me that you had gone past the verbal incontinence required, indeed demanded, of ink stained modern American Liberal wretches.

You say that Republicans, rich rotters all, are opposed to students having lunch. Perhaps they are acting as a Trojan horse for advancing Michele Obama’s crusade to make tofu available by IV for all fat assed pre-teens. [How pre-teens wind up with fat asses when Nancy Reagan is on TV every day demanding that they not be allowed to eat is a horse of a different color]

You say, as if no one would notice, that “we can afford to pay the average millionaire an extra $265,000 if Ryan’s tax cuts become law”. Of all the terms that could be used to describe millionaires “average” is the least descriptive. Further, who are the “we” who are going to be signing those checks? Are these funds coming from the famous $ tree that your mother told you about? Are there any golden egged geese nesting in this tree? Does the tree produce that nutritious “rainbow stew” that modern American Liberals speak so highly off?

Your C.V. proudly proclaims degrees from 2 prestigious institutions .Perhaps they now have an on-line program containing Payroll 101. It is empirically self-evident that not only did you miss it the first time around but that it is an extra galactic concept to you.

On Easter Sunday it is important to note that the One who can “create” things does not sit in the White House.

The most important thing to remember about pay checks is that it takes 2 signatures to make them good. Everybody knows that the signature on the back must match the name of the Pay to portion. It is payment for services performed. Alas, and I am sure that Republican racism is to blame, anyone cashing the check demands a photo ID. The signature on the front is by the person who caused it all to happen. If he is an “average” millionaire he pays people to help him stay rich. If he wants to become an “average” millionaire he pays people to get him in front of the curve and out from underneath the lion’s paw.

Here come’s your Damascus moment. You are going to be knocked off your horse. I hope on the way down you get a good look at his ass. I hope the only thing that is hurt is your pride. Pay attention. I’ll type slowly.

Before the government, any government, can create, invest, pay, endow, subsidize, assist, inter alia, it must first take. The government takes from its citizens in 2 ways:

#! – Taxes
#2 – Borrowing

It is so simple that even a pointy headed intelectuloid should be able to get it. If you tax something you have less of it. Beginning with the Emperor Augustus History tells us that if you want to increase tax revenue you decrease rates

#2 causes inflation, a debasement of the currency that leads to cruelest of all taxes. Muggers leave their calling cards in the guise of broken windows, stolen purses, and fat lips. You know that they have been there. The government dare not tell the citizens the true cost of the bread and circuses they have been providing. The government picks your pocket. They don’t have to be in the same room. When your money loses its value sellers demand more of it. Interest rates reflect the lenders’ knowledge that even if the loan gets paid back the money will be worth less.

It was an article of faith for mush brained modern American Liberals that the deficits and the borrowing to finance them under Bush were evil. That Obama has borrowed as much in 3 years as Bush borrowed in 7 years is an inconvenient truth that has been consigned to the memory hole.

Mong, the mendacious Mandarin moneylender, may yet close that account.

You say that if you are unemployed for one year your odds of dying “increase 50%”. It its 2 years the odds are “100%”

Even a blind hog sometimes finds a truffle.

You may have stumbled upon the solution to the deficit, Medicare, Medicaid and whatever else bothers the nation.

I modestly propose that in 30 months we will all be farting through silk.

Fire everybody. Thin the herd. Herbert Spenser and Margaret Sanger would have loved it. The fewer people drawing water from the well the further it will go. Social Darwinism, like Midnight Basketball, never got a fair shot. As a bonus the polar bears will benefit from lessened carbon dioxide production caused by fewer people. Hire them back in 30 months.

Apparently the only form of Darwinism that is not one of the sacraments in the church of modern American Liberalism is the Social kind. Go figure.

But that’s not why I write.

Your usual clap-trap – Free “Balloon Juice” for all, Nuke WalMart, Send us more Kennedys, Is Pelosi dumber than Biden or is it just a coincidence that when both of them are in the same zip code cats pee uncontrollably, tax the oil companies more and the price of gas will go down, and I hope nobody notices that Obama wants to be the engineer on the next train to Auschwitz – has already been discounted by the marketplace of ideas.

There is a story, perhaps apocryphal, perhaps not, about a British sailor being court-martialed for beating a German prisoner. In his defense he said that when Klaus cursed the King he did nothing. When he cursed Winston Churchill he did nothing. “But when he opened that porthole and spit in our ocean I poleaxed that Hun.” Not guilty.

You toss in a throwaway line saying that Howard Zinn is a “great Historian”. The ghosts of Herodotus, of Thucydides, of Gibbon, of Dumas Malone just shuddered. If Zinn is a “great Historian” O. J. Simpson is a great husband. That Big Bill Clinton, the King of the One Eyed Trouser Snakes, humiliated and abused his wife there can be no doubt. What he didn’t do was filet her. That’s why Simpson noses him out.

You can read all his books or you can remember his mantra “Whitey did it” and save yourself money and time. His anthem is “Imagine”. Just imagine.

I have been reading History for a very long time. What you say is as patently offensive as it is untrue.



KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET


PS – How do you cut the taxes of someone who doesn’t pay them?