May 17, 2014
Fabiola Santiago
The Miami Herald

RE: “Climate Deniers” – How your column on rising waters raises hackles

Ms. Santiago,

I like your column. It’s like eating a big bowl of whipped cream with an odd bit of meringue hidden in the folds. That’s why I hope you believe me when I tell you, in re “Climate Deniers”, my contempt is not personal.

“Only an ideologically obstinate climate-change denier
doesn’t see that flooding woes only seem to worsen
year after year, even during ordinary rainy days like
Thursday, throughput the southeastern U.S.”
The Miami Herald
Today
You

Let us stipulate that sea levels are rising. Let us stipulate that sea levels are falling. They do it with metronomic regularity. Think tides. High tide followed by low tide followed by high tide followed by – you guessed it – low tide. Why you could almost set your watch by it. If you ever get to British Columbia the best time to get them to get salmon is slack tide.

Did the Miami Herald sell its world HQ, the one by Biscayne Bay, because the Bay had reached the 2nd floor? If it did was this fact disclosed to the buyers? Do you think the buyers were aware of it?

Beckham wants to play soccer. Specifically, he wants people to pay to watch him play soccer somewhere on the waterfront. He does not want to remake Esther Williams’s films.

Speaking of bubbles, is there another mortgage one coming? Why do banks compete vigorously to lend money on waterfront property? When Miami/Dade borrows money do they tell potential buyers of the hydrological risk? Aren’t the borrowers committing fraud by not disclosing the risk? Every time they borrow money from the pension fund of the Wichita Teachers’ Union aren’t they trying to outdo Madoff or Rothstein?

An admitted perjurer and a philander non-pareil, President Clinton, AKA “Handsome Billy from Hot Springs”, held a press conference in the Rose Garden of the White House in August, 1997. He said, “It’s very hot today. Global Warming caused that. By the way, hot days cause Global Warming. That science is “settled”.”




Honest. You could look it up.

Why no one asked him why he didn’t submit the Kyoto Treaty, the one that was going to save the planet in 1995, to the Senate for confirmation is beyond me. Perhaps a “vast Left-Wing conspiracy” is responsible. The facts would support that interpretation, wouldn’t they?

Since you brought up Logic, the capstone of the Trivium, the crowing jewel of Western Civilization, permit me to point the error of his, and your, reasoning.

You have fallen prey to the most basic of fallacies. Hoc post ergo propter hoc was proved to be a brain fart 25 centuries ago. It’s like cat shit on the bottom of your shoe. It is deuced difficult to get rid of it completely. It survives and prospers because it is a solution to the hard task of thinking. It is the best friend of modern American Liberals.

GlobalCoolingGlobalWarmingClimateChangeClimateDisruption

That is the timeline, beginning in 1969, of us being perpetually on the eve of destruction. Professor Paul Ehrlich told us 45 years ago that we would all be dead by the year 2000. He hadn’t quite worked it out but the race was between starving and freezing with the winners’ laurel being death

Honest. You could look it up.

Only the collapse of the Ozone layer saved us from frostbite.

Six years ago Al Gore gave us five years to live. That’s why he probably sold his TV station – Can you believe this? – to WOG terrorists who are in the oil business.

Honest. You could look it up.

Maybe you could tell me what happened to Ptolemy? For a millennium and a half, that’s 1500 years, he was the top dog in Astronomy. You talk about science being settled. How did Copernicus and Kepler and Galileo sneak in there, what with the science being “settled”? Is it possible that settled science can become unsettled?

Paul Krugman, and let me quickly add that while he won the Noble Prize it wasn’t for being a shill for Enron, told us on Thursday morning that we were all doomed. I hope for the sake of my 3 granddaughters, Texas Ladies all, that his science isn’t “settled”.

Since you segue from rain to business – “His presidential ambitions only extend to addressing the needs of big business” – permit me to do the same.

Chrysler, saved by a bailout funded by money borrowed from the Chinese but totally a debt to be paid for by the American taxpayer, is now owned by an Italian company. Its big goal is to build Jeeps in China.

GM’s bailout, a deal on which the American taxpayer lost $10,000,000,000 – That’s ten billion dollars – lies repeatedly about how safe their cars are.

Honest. You could look it up.

By saying that not only is the Emperor naked, but that he doesn’t even know how to put his pants on, Rubio es un cablallero valiente y un hombre bueno knowing that he was going to suffer the slings and arrows of boobs and buffoons such as you.


Kevin Smith


PS – Before you were marooned by torrential rain – “torrential rain” in South Florida in May? Whodathunk? – in the Publix parking lot did you happen to buy any cauliflower? If you did I hate to be the one to tell you but, as a worshipper of Gaia, you have the inorganic anti-Christ, a genetically modified vegetable, in your kitchen. If you haven’t cooked it please dispose of it in an environmentally sensitive manner. You probably used to feed manatees, Florida’s favorite sea slugs, with the overripe heads. You are now a life member of the Sisterhood of Non-Thinking Ink Stained Wenches. Can’t do that anymore.