November 25, 2014
W. Tandy Grubbs, PhD – Department of Chemistry
Stetson University
421 N. Woodland Blvd.
DeLand, FL 33273

My dear Professor,

The first thing that leaps out of your musings on “Reaping the Benefits of Green Power will require personal Sacrifice” is that you should stick to polymers.

The reason is empirically self-evident.

“The real significance of this non-binding agreement:
China is finally at the negotiating table.”

I don’t know if History is taught at Stetson. If it isn’t, Google “Munich”. Using your criterion the world is still rejoicing because “Nazi Germany is finally at the negotiating table”.

How did that work pout?

[Here’s a negotiating tip from my Uncle Adam, the noted tax collector and philosopher: Never rely on the other guy’s better nature. He may not have one.]

The next clue to your leading role in the Gruber School of Directing the untermenschen is your use of the words “sacrifice” and “mandate”.

Part and parcel, warp and woof pf modern American Liberal academics is when they call on someone else to give something up. [I’ll offer an alternative in a bit] Further, it is quickly followed by “If you don’t do what’s best for you we’ll make you”.

One of the dirty little secrets of modern American Liberalism, both in the political arena and academia, is that they are all wanabee Fascists. [Has Stetson sponsored a reprise of the Mohammed cartoons, the ones showing him as a goat humping paedophile? Free speech and universities are synonymous, aren’t they?]

“We” know better. “We” are blessed with “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome” without which we would be unable to tell you what to do. It enables you, a la Professor Gruber, to lie, cheat, steal, swindle, bamboozle, hornswoggle, euchre – Did I say lie? – the American public.

“We” silently offer a te deum because, without us all the knuckle dragging, Fox News fanatical Wal-Mart shoppers wouldn’t have the sense to come in out of the rain.

When you say “there is not enough arable land…” I reached for my PROUD GLOBAL WARMER ball cap.

See if you can follow this. I will type slowly.

Global Warming ended the last Ice Age. Too bad for the mastodons but it sure as helped all those struggling bi-peds who were finally figuring out what to do with their thumbs. When temperatures climb land, previously barren, becomes more arable. More protein becomes more available to more people. They get smarter. There was an upward spike in temperature in Europe 10 centuries ago. We wound up with the Renaissance. Do you have a problem with Dante? Sorry about that. Do you know who Dante is?

He wrote

“Halfway through my journey I found myself in the dark wood of error”

That may have been a good line in 1300 but it doesn’t apply here, what with all the science being “settled”, right?

In the end you call for “heavy government subsidies” to help us reach the horizon where the Land of Milk, Honey, Rainbow Stew, and Balloon Juice sits calling us. Would it would be impolite to point out that the foetid, Gehenna-like, dung heap behind the tree of all knowledge is what is left of Solyndra, speaking of “heavy government subsidies”?

How we are to pay for theses blessing is left blank but true to the canons of modern American Liberalism can a “fairer tax code” be far behind?

You ask with nary a hint of mirth or we “must sacrifice” by “accepting a lower standard of living” so that we can keep Venice from being totally underwater, to “undrown” baby seal killing polar bears….

“Such stupidity, sir, is not to be found in nature’

There is one thing you can do. It is squarely in the 10 ring of “Think Globally;
Act Locally”.

Give up air conditioning. Give it up in your house. Give it up in your car. Most importantly, give it up where you work. As Chairman of the Chemistry department just turn them off. Dispose of them in an environmentally sensitive manner. Artificial reefs, perhaps. Then turn them off in your classrooms. Open the windows and praise Gaia. Your classes will be overflowing.

Get back to me.






Kevin Smith




PS – I must tell you that back in the late’70s, back when Global Cooling was the churl that was used to scare small children, I used to spray Right Guard deodorant out my bathroom window. “Damn the Ozone Layer”, I yelled every AM. Thank God Vice President Alpha Gump saved it and us.