November 26, 2014
Albert R. Hunt
Bloomberg News
1399 New York Avenue
Washington, DC 20005

RE: Who says all turkeys are foul? – Some comments on your achingly modern American Liberal column on “the triumph of hope over experience” in today’s Sun Sentinel.

Mr. Bloomberg,

‘Twas the night before Thanksgiving and all through the house not a creature was stirring….except for the literate curmudgeon who reads and remembers.

It’s been a while since I’ve written you about your philosophical and ideological shortcomings. You have, so far, a remarkable talent for misstating the obvious and how proud you are to be an alumnus of the Gruber School of Reporting.

I was watching the 6:00 News. Don’t ask. Of course it was Fox. I chose to switch from political absurdity to cinematic absurdity. The only choice was “Seinfeld” since Professor Irwin Corey and Beckett were not renewed. I marvel, even in reruns, how George Costanza avoids very serious beatings, real Texas-sized ass kickings, and then repeated defenestration from progressively higher floors until his mug has the texture of warm tapioca and his joints feel like oatmeal.

Alas, even alack, but it was not sufficient

The last choice was your column

Bingo!

The two most prominent turds in your punch bowl are:

#1 – “major infrastructure spending” – Am I the only one left in America who remembers “Shovel Ready Jobs”? I recall $900,000,000,000 – that’s nine hundred billion – being the magic number that would lead us to a never ending “Summer of Recovery”. The Mandarin money lenders, the ones that Hillary Clinton warned us about for her 8 years in the Senate, want to know how their loan is doing.

#2 – “We need to tilt the playing field in favor of rather than against unions”- I was a Teamster. I paid dues to Anthony Provenzano, AKA Tony Pro. Whatever else he may have been he was a man who knew the buttered side from the dry, a man about whom it could be said that he had a moral clarity shining around him.





That brings me to the goons from SEIU and the goons from AFSCME. They would toss a coin to see who would first get to greet a female Wisconsin legislator with “Good morning, cocksucker” or “Good morning, you fucking cocksucker”. Wouldn’t Samuel Gompers be proud.

If memory serves the point of contention was Governor Scott Walker and his attempts to enforce the laws surrounding gravity. If memory further serves he won 3 elections in 4 years

Game, set, and match.

And these are the people you want to tilt the playing field in favor of?

On a more personal note…is your wife only paid 77% of what her male counterparts earn? If that is the case you need to get down to the studio and kick some serious ass. Please don’t let Nancy Pelosi know that she only makes 77% of what John Boehner makes. If she finds out she will make all the other shrews in D.C. turn into Mary Poppins. I mean that vixen sneezes bile. Her dandruff is venomous.

You say, without a hint of sarcasm, that the Democrats would have held the Senate if they had gotten more votes. That’s like saying the Syrian Air Force would be better than the Israeli Air Force is they didn’t keep getting its planes shot down. I search for an appropriate epitaph for Marion Barry other than quoting him saying “If you forget the murder rate Washington is a safe city”. Cuba has been an OK place to live since the Castros took over. They have 3 continuing problems; breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

There is no sense in being a half-assed modern American Liberal horse’s ass when you can be a modern American Liberal horse’s ass of gargantuan proportions.

You cite Professor Alan Krueger, a true fiend of the blue collar worker, a man who would need instructions on which is the business end of a shovel, a man who has never signed the front of a paycheck, who cites German models for increasing worker participation – German models? Didn’t they get the trains, the express trains to Auschwitz, to run on time? – in the new economy, an economy based on the Solyndra model, Cash for Clunkers, with input from Venezuela and Zimbabwe.

Then I switched back to TV to watch Duck Dynasty in Scotland. The entire Robertson family – and may I say that I love Uncle Si but God Bless Phil – went to Scotland to sell their duck calls.


God Bless America! As the legendary Big Mike from Bayonne still says, “That’s why you never see anybody swimming to Cuba”.

George Costanza, you, Cajuns in Caledonia. It doesn’t get any better than this.

Not so fast.

People in Ferguson, Missouri are so pissed off that they are burning their town down. It’s the last piece of the puzzle.

The boobies are running the hatch.

“Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity

“I’ll retire to Bedlam” where Kramer makes perfect sense.




Happy Thanksgiving!






Kevin Smith