March 19, 2015

David Fleshler

The Sun Sentinel

RE: Will life be worth living once the noble staghorn and the sensitive elkhorn, both endangered coral reefs, are further ravaged? Some comments on your article about these victims of man’s predatory nature plus a plan to save them.

Mr. Fleshler,

 Some days I wonder if it’s worth the trouble to chew through the leather wrist restraints. Not today, thanks to your Page 1 story of the horror, the horror, to be faced should these reefs go walkabout like pterodactyls, carrier pigeons, Tasmanian Devils, and assorted T-Rexes.

The other thing is whenever I see the word “coral” I think of my wife’s father. He was an officer on a United States Naval vessel in the Coral Sea where, despite the Kellogg-Briand Treaty and the Washington Naval Arms Limitation Treaty, the Japanese wanted to sink the ship on which he served as a surgeon. Having dodged that bullet he then spent 2 years on the Atlantic escaping Nazi U-Boats. 

I mention the above because there are some things that are important. Other things, less so.

Who says satire is dead?

THE COST OF SAVING PRECIOUS CORAL

NEW PLAN SAYS

RESTORING 2 SPECIES

WILL TAKE $250 MILLION –

AND 400 YEARS

The Sun Sentinel

Today

Page 1

You

Forgive me. Who am I to say it’s satire? It may or it may not. Either way it is proof that even lilies can be gilded. Sometimes intentionally, sometimes not. Not a smirk. Not a sly grin. Not even a raised eyebrow. No mirth, nowhere.

“Climate change is beginning to creep up in terms of causes” is attributed to Jennifer Moore, a fisheries service biologist.

Is “climate change” the global cooling that we were told 40 years ago would kill us 15 years ago?

Is “climate change” the global warming that we were told 25 years ago would microwave us to death 10 years ago?

Man began to apply the scientific method, one of the jewels of Western Civilization, as a way to answer the question, “What if?”

The question knocked Ptolemy off his perch as Top Gun in Astronomy. It made electricity respond to our commands. It harnessed the atom. It bitch slapped gravity and went to the moon and came back.

“250 Million and 400 Years” does not prompt a question. It prompts a statement.

SOUNDS LIKE BULLSHIT TO ME

I have 2 ball caps I wear. One says “RIGHT-WING CONSPIRATOR. The other says “PROUD GLOBAL WARMER”.

I will mark the vernal equinox in 2 days be listening to a lecture given by my favorite Italian climatologist, Professor Vivaldi. You could profit from the same exercise.

Speaking of climate change, specifically global warming…I think it gets a bad rap for 2 reasons:

#1 – It got us out of the last Ice Age, remember?

#2 –Temperatures spiked upwards 1100 years ago. More land became more arable. More farm land, more protein.  More protein made people smarter. We wound up with the Renaissance. Do you have a problem with Dante? da Vinci? Michelangelo?

I have been begging the Sun Sentinel since 1997 to show us the way to cut our carbon footprint. It’s so simple. Turn off all your A/Cs. Coal burning produces the electricity that powers our A/Cs. It also fouls the air, poisons our wells, causes catarrh, and, doubtless, kills our underwater friends. 

What is so rare as a day in March when jackassery such as yours is presented to the public? Lummoxes, clods, and nit-wits are wetting their pants in joy.

400 years? We can’t waste a minute. In fact, start it yesterday

I understand that manatee poo, because it is organically bid-degradable and gluten free, is the best healing agents for the wily rough cactus coral and the obdurate lobed star coral. Why not round up a few thousand of these useless sea slugs and put them in a corral over the seed beds? Feed them month old kale, Swiss chard, endives, and arugula laced with Ex-Lax and Metamucil. How about a 501c3 for their benefit? Even Lois Lerner would approve.

Meanwhile, I think I’ll retire to Bedlam. It’s peaceful there. Serenely quiet too. There are benefits when the boobies run the hatch.

Kevin Smith

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

PS – Although the headline says $250 million the story says $254,540,000. I am glad to see that there will be no smoke and mirrors, kick the can down the road budgeting. Let’s get started!