March 27, 2016

Gary Stein

The Sun Sentinel

RE: It beats hunting for Easter eggs and chocolate bunnies. Some comments on your quasi-polemic on those Wascally Wepublicans in today’s unklinkable Sun Sentinel.

Big Stein,

  “undies scrunched”? Bravo, sir! I’ve been using “knotted knickers” for too long. With your permission, or without it, I will appropriate it. It’s not “fair” that you have it and I don’t. Isn’t that what “Feel the Bern” is all about? 

• If you are opposed to “carpet bombing” feral Islamic murderers does that mean you are retroactively opposed to the United States Army Air Force, the “Mighty 8^th”, turning Dresden into a 20^th century version of Mrs. O’Leary’s barn? How about Curtis Lemay giving the Japanese a crash course in quick frying? I won’t even ask if you were opposed to Nixon, the “mad bomber” as I recall, unleashing the B-52s, the BUFFs, Big Ugly Fat Fu*kers, if you will, on Hanoi at Christmas, 1972.
• Are you indignant about all carpet bombing or just “eclectically indignant” when Republicans suggest it?
• You snarl a bit about Trump “insulting and threatening Cruz’s wife”. Here’s a task for Little Stein, your perpetual college student. 
• Have him do some homework on “Ma, Ma where’s Pa? Gone to the White House, ha, ha, ha”. 1876 is a big hint. Also, the similarities between Trump and Andrew Jackson. Modern American Liberal favorite Arthur Schlesinger, Jr wrote about Old Hickory without spending too much time on his Indian policies. No sense spoiling the narrative, right? And in a manner insulting to Saint Thomas More, “A Man for all Seasons”, Roman Catholic candidate Kennedy said about Adlai Stevenson that while adultery was a touchy subject divorce was verboten
• You say that Mayor Rudy Giuliani is “irrelevant”. Did this happen on September 12, 2001 or did it happen when he began to appear on Fox News?
• You say that Obama doing the tango in Buenos Aires was no big deal. Au contraire, amigo. In a blow for blowing up racial shibboleths and bigoted canards he gave us empirical evidence that not all Black men can dance. It may be the absence of slave blood or an overdosing of his grandmother’s genes. You may recall that he said she was just an “average White woman”. Obviously there is no DNA connection to either Gene Kelly or Fred Astaire.
• Let me end with a gender specific ad hominem argument.
• Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama have asses that would make Oliver Hardy and Aunt Jemima green with envy.
• Hillary will need the Jaws of Life should she develop violent diarrhea if and when she meets the families of any of the 4 Americans who were killed at Benghazi. The last time she met them, as they were standing next to the drag draped coffins, she lied to them. She probably IVs crème brulee and uses an enema for her morning biscuits, red eye gravy, and a Ben & Jerry surprise. Thank G-d for those Ninja blenders.
• Michelle will cause a bidding war between Jenny Craig, Nutri-System, and an Oprah-led resurgent Weight Watchers never before seen. Her bidet has a 6 inch – inside diameter – booty pipe.
• You still haven’t gotten back to me about the Israelis hanging Eichmann. Does your “retroactive outrage” extend to him also?
• Kevin Smith
• WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET