March 6, 2016

Chris Matthews

MSNBC – Hard Ball

RE:: Why I don’t like you and why you need a Texas-sized ass whupping plus some Roman Catholic “inside baseball” stuff.

Mr. Matthews,

I stumbled on to your 5:00 PM newscast. I would rather fondle a rabid Tasmanian Devil then voluntarily go to your program. Your lead was the death of Nancy Reagan. I stayed. Yuuuuge mistake.

You segued seamlessly a la the style book of modern American Liberal TV journalism into a modern American Liberal shibboleth.

“Wasn’t it great”, you said, how Tip and the Gipper were able to lay aside their differences and save Social Security before, so help me God but you then said the following,  “ending the Cold War peacefully”. 

You actually said that.

You were sitting down so I couldn’t see if your pants burst into flames. They should have. You should have looked like Dresden after the US Army Mighty 8^th Air Force and Bomber Harris’s RAF came calling.

I suggest that the Strategic Defense Initiative – Star Wars, if you will – will prove my point.

When the Great Reagan proposed it a little known fact was kept from the American public by the modern American Liberal bum kissing, lap dog toads who ruled the media then. [How can we ever repay the debt owed, first to Rush Limbaugh, and them to Matt Drudge? Alas, the fix was in before they turned the world upside down.]

At least 7 Congressional Democrats suffered serious injuries, including a torn meniscus, 2 ruptured patellar tendons, 4 cases of epicondylitis, multiple macular piuckers, and a slew of STDs. This all came about in the stampede to get to any live microphone attached to a TV camera with a blinking red light.

They elbowed each other like the pros on the 2^nd floor of Bergdorf-Goodman did when the cashmere sweaters went on sale.

They spoke as one. 

It couldn’t, it would never work. That was the task given to the “useful idiots; in public life, in academe, and the media.

  Worse, there were serious modern American Liberal defenders – Think of the “Dear Commandante” letters to Latin ladrones – who said it shouldn’t work. 

Clio, the Muse in charge of History, always seeks a balance. The Democrats, the New York Times, and all the major TV networks would not have pissed on SDI if it burst into flames. There were several believers: Gorbachev, the Politburo and the entire Russkie general staff. Game, set, and match to the “amiable dunce” as Clark Clifford, the consummate DC insider, as meretricious and mendacious a man who ever prowled a Democratic Oval Office, called Ronaldus Magnus. 

[A word or two about Clark Clifford. He may or may not have known the law. He sure as Hell knew the Judges and the Secretaries and the guys in DC who oozed “juice”. He was a fixer, a clean-up guy with a law degree. He was made the Chairman of the Board of BCCI, the Bank of Commerce and Credit. Its business model was simple: First, they would steal a hot stove. Then they would take the coins off a dead man’s eyes. They would cook them on the hot stove and then sell the eyes and the stove for cash. I would like to say that 35% of it was owned by the Corleone family but that would be defaming all Sicilians. It was 35% owned by Abdul, Farouk, maybe Bin Laden, and Fatima. The Swiss were not involved. Clifford testified before Congress that he did not know that more than a third of his stockholders had no fixed addresses. It was a public company. Among other things he had to do was oversee the annual report and the 10K. When you sign those documents, as I have, you do so under the rules governing perjury and fraud. His defense, “I am a horse’s ass who could get lost on a ladder”, worked. I would be remiss if I didn’t point out that he probably held markers on all of his accusers.

At the very least this smarmy bastard should have been strapped to a mule and made to wear a dunce’s cap while honest grifters and hookers threw flaming bags of cat scat at him for giving their professions a bad name. Strong note to follow.]

Didn’t Toss Pot Ted, AKA Senator Lard, Tip’s favorite drinking buddy, send an illegal letter to the  Politburo telling them to relax because when the Democrats got back into power – Didn’t Obama say the same thing to Putin’s stooge? – it would be back to the good old days of Alger Hiss and Senator Fulbright? He did. You can look it up. 

Do you think tip and Fatso had a few cocktails on the trips back to Boston? I could answer by asking “Is the Pope Catholic?” but the jury would be split on the matter.

What did Tip say to his good friend the Gipper when he told Gorby to shove Glasnost and Perestroika so far up his arse that his back teeth could chew on them? Did he say, “Nice show, Ron.”

My brother the hunchback will straighten up if he did.

Reagan was right when he said his Cold War policy was simple: We win, they lose. Reagan was right when he told America that there was bear in the woods. He also said, much to the chagrin of fellow-travelling modern American Liberals, that the bear meant to do us harm.

Tip was wrong. Fritz was wrong. You were wrong.

Let me revise and extend my previous remarks.

You don’t need a Texas-sized ass whupping. You need a lot of them. 2 or 3 times a week. Every week.

Like Ulysses of old “I am not now that strength which in old days moved earth and heaven”. Even though I would be busier than the one-legged man in the ass kicking contest I would kick yours so hard you would have to take your socks down to take a dump.

RIP Nancy Reagan and may flights of angels accompany her home.

For the sake of my soon arriving granddaughters some things are owed to the ledger.

Do not piss on my back and tell me it’s rain.

Sincerely,

From a fellow Irish Catholic Peace Corps Volunteer

Kevin Smith

PS – About that RC “inside baseball” stuff….You took a lot of well-deserved criticism when you talked, “tumescently”, about Obama giving you a “tingle up your leg”. You looked past the simple fact that he had never worked a day in his life, that he was a
community organizer”, that he was “clean and articulate”, that he got his wife’s employer a $1,000,000 earmark and that they, according to the Cook County/Chicago Rules of Governance gave her a $4,000 a week raise, the fact that he spent 20 year listening to sermons from a man at least as bigoted as Senator Ervin, Senator Sparkman, and Senator Gore. These things didn’t bother you because as modern American Liberal you had finally found Sarx Logo, Word made Flesh. Vatican 2 Catholics are uncomfortable talking about things like that. A Black man who wore acutely creased pants was all you needed to pledge obedience and obeisance. When he leaves the White House a lucrative career awaits you. 1-800-Indulgence. It ain’t easy being a “whited sepulcher”. Maybe that’s why you spit a lot.. Slainte