September 29, 2017

Liz Phillips Soeiro – Librarian

Cambridge Library

449 Broadway 

Cambridge, MA 02138

RE: An ill-tempered harridan or an ill-mannered hoyden? 

Mrs. Soeiro,

Forget about the Zika virus. It is a mere bagatelle. Forget about teenage obesity or the heartbreak of psoriasis. Forget about Trump Derangement Syndrome.

 The clear and present danger, the threat that will shortly shroud Cambridge, is one that is common to card carrying, fire breathing modern American Liberals. “Non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome” makes AIDs look like a mild case of acne. It has a condescending hubris that is manifested by pissing on peoples’ backs while telling them it’s rain. Maybe I can get some Ninja-masked ANTIFA thugs to pepper spray you

I went to your web site to get your address when I body slammed by the notice that the library will be closed on October 9^th in honor of Indigenous People’s Day. God’s Holy Trousers but here was no hint of sarcasm, of irony, no suggestion that it was the Onion-lite, no not quite Italianate hand of Mel Brooks or Professor Irwin Corey or the Three Stooges or any Kennedys getting home from a mano-a-mano joust with some single malt whiskys. Just Indigenous People’s Day. 

Speaking of Indigenous Peoples… it takes los cojones grandes to say that. It is akin to dropping a big old turd in Grammy’s punch bowl and hoping no one notices.

But that not why I write. 

Both my children – 2 degrees each with professional licenses in 5 states – were raised free of Doctor Seuss in my home.  I couldn’t control what was fed to them in school but there was no Cat/Hat/GreenEgg claptrap in our house. [They were also forbidden from “Trick or Treating for UNICEF’” rarees but that’s a different story.] 

I don’t dislike Theodore Geisel because he is outdated. I detest him because he was complicit after the fact in the deaths of 8 to 10 million Kulaks in the early ‘30s. By the way, when you say Kulaks you say Jews. For almost 2 years he was an active supporter, indeed a fierce advocate, of Adolph Hitler. Look it up. 

For several years, the Nazi navy tried to sink the ship that my wife’s father served on. From August 22, 1939 to June 21, 1941 Geisel obeyed Stalin, his master, and said that Hitler was a good guy. Sure, he had some rough edges but you can’t make an omelet without breaking eggs. Besides, he was a big fan of Margaret Sanger and Oliver Wendell Holmes also. A dude with those credentials can’t be all bad, right?

It seems that residents and workers in Cambridge gave no sense of History. The dates mentioned are the beginning and the end of the Nazi/Commie non-aggression pact.

Geisel never apologized for his support of Hitler, a support that was demanded of him by his status as a “useful idiot” in spiritual thralldom to his Communist masters.

If you think he is an outdated 1930s author I dread to know what you think of Eliot, of Auden, of Yeats, and of course, Orwell, with Orwell in particular because modern American Liberals still don’t like him because he was critical of Stalin. Eliot also because he wrote of the palpable presence of evil in man. Such a belief is anathema to the belief system of today’s Democrats and their propagandists at the Boston Globe and the New York Times. The belief is the one that says man is perfectible, particularly with the right combination of good intentions and compassionate public policy. You can look that up also. 

Some good has come from this. 

You are this year’s first double winner of 2 of my most prestigious awards. I hereby name you

POMPOUS FART OF THE MONTH

&

SMARMY BASTARD OF THE YEAR

No uterine set aside, no menopause “goals”, no glass ceiling chazzerai: you got them the old-fashioned way. You earned them.

Kevin Smith

PS – Since I am a big believer in diversity and multi-culturalism, even though I don’t think Allah is so friggin’ Akbar I believe that only Allah, a paedophile who dabbled in bestiality, can weave a perfect rug. Try to find the intentional error in my letter. You are supposed to be a librarian, aren’t you?