Beth Reinhard, The Miami Herald

April 12, 2008

Beth Reinhard

The Miami Herald

One Herald Plaza

Miami, Florida 33132-1693

RE: “What’s to be done” – How dare they say that – Why the Equal Rights Amendment, or so you say in today’s column in the Herald, will make the roads smoother, taxes fairer, people nicer, and preclude tender chickies from having their feelings hurt.

Ms. Reinhard,

You called him a “lout”.

I prefer to call him a zealot practitioner of unbridled and unfettered political speech. Somehow I think the words “Congress shall make no law…” to you fall into the category of “those words mean exactly what I want them to mean”, as made famous in Alice in Wonderland. In the tradition that allowed President Lincoln to be called a “baboon” and allowed President Bush to called “Hitler” what the &*#^% is wrong with somebody yelling “Iron my shirt” at Hillary Clinton?

I mean it’s not like some crazed Kosovockian was trying to put a couple of caps into her then svelte ass, right? And speaking of her serpentine tarmac two-step what in the name of abused children everywhere was her 15 year old daughter doing with her in a hot L.Z.anyway? [L.Z., for those irenic souls who think Denis Kucinich didn’t get a fair hearing in the SNAFUed and FUBARed Democratic primaries, is Landing Zone]

Now that Hillary the Hecate has assumed the role of the Colonel’s Lady I guess that makes you Rosie O’Grady. Either way your solution to being made to feel less than adequate is…is…a friggin’ Constitutional Amendment? You say that “the state constitution already declares men and women equal”. How, pray tell, will one more law, even a Constitutional amendment, make a particular group perceived to be less equal more equal? If the ERA had been passed would Harridan Hillary been allowed to tear up as she did in New Hampshire?

God’s Holy Trousers! That’s world class, call the Guinness Book of Records, Homerically dumb.

On the other hand, what’s the sense of being a template, a paradigm if you will, for ink stained wench modern American Liberal wanabees everywhere whose bottom line belief is that “equality” is something that can be legislated unless you believe that “balloon juice” can overcome the laws governing gravity?

What’s the sense of finding a victim – in this case the junior Senator from New York, a candidate for the nomination of her Party for the Presidency, a lady who has air brushed her time as a Director of WAL*MART out of her rather thin C.V. – unless you can identify the villain? Since you call him a “lout” I don’t think it would unfair of me to say that he is male. I think I can say, safely, that he would not be a public member of Sir Elton John’s WrumpWrangling Conga Line.

Speaking of “gender equity”, maybe it is time for Hillary and Chelsea to “take the Queen’s shilling” and get over to Afghanistan’s plains. Maybe they could be the first mother-daughter combo to make it to Arlington National Cemetery. Even if just one of them gets there the old fashioned way it will go a long distance to righting the grossly imbalanced scales of male/female names on headstones there.

One thing for sure is that they will be paid the same as men.

If she can survive the billingsgate of “Iron my shirt”, the sting of “Don’t burn my meat loaf” should be no problem. The next time the phone rings at 3:00 AM it will either be for her husband or it will be for her ideas for new recipes for box lunches.

PS – I want to extend a typical modern American Liberal apology. If I have said anything that has offended anyone anywhere at anytime I am sorry. If no one stands up and says “I am offended”, I ain’t sorry.