John Dorschner, The Miami Herald

April 6, 2008

John Dorschner

The Miami Herald

One Herald Plaza

Miami, Florida 33132-1693

RE: Errors of omission constitute civil fraud – What were you thinking? A Page 1 story in today’s Miami Herald that is fatally flawed ab initio.

Tweedledumb,

Facts are hard things. Harder still is when you ignore them to advance a flawed premise.

Your premise, a soft one with fuzzy edges, is that somehow controlling llama and anaconda eructations will stop polar bears from drowning and will discourage teenage obesity. Lysenko would have been proud. Your admission to the advanced Luddite Institute for defying gravity is assured. But I digress.

You say

“Although the Bush administration refused to join the

Kyoto cleanup effort…”

Doubtless you were learning how to live without exhaling – Damn that carbon dioxide! – when the United States signed the Kyoto Accords. [It is well to note that China and India did not.] If the President of the United States had followed the Constitution and submitted the treaty to the Senate for its approval as the law requires, and had the Senate done so, the Bush administration could not have refused to join the Kyoto cleanup effort. It would have been the law of the land.

Maybe Clinton was “distracted” by Oval Office salami hiding. Maybe the other Clinton was practicing her serpentine tarmac two step. Maybe Vice President Alpha Gump was celebrating his recent discovery of what to do with thumbs. For whatever reason it never happened.

Who knows?

What is known is that the Kyoto Accords – and only a cad would bring up the absence of China and India from the impressive list of signators – had as much standing in Law as the annual Presidential pardoning of the Thanksgiving turkey. I think that puts it a scoosh higher than the Easter Egg Hunt on the White House lawn but just barely.

I am going to let you in on a little secret.

There is an answer to curbing carbon dioxide.

It involves neither the mandatory holding of one’s breath for 16 hours a day nor does it entail the confiscation of gas guzzling SUVs.

It’s called nuclear power.

You may wish to familiarize yourself with it.

PS – I’ve been trying for years to get the Miami Herald to turn off all the A/Cs at their HQ by the bay. Open the windows. Get some hand held fans from the local funeral home. Somebody has to be first or we and the polar bears will perish. I mean, like you know what I’m saying, if you don’t do this people might think that you are a hypocrite.