Kathryn Fernandez Rundle, Esq., State Attorney

April 16, 2008

Kathryn Fernandez Rundle, Esq.

State Attorney

1350 N.W. 12^th Avenue

Miami, Florida 33136-2111

RE: Do your duty

Ms. Rundle,

I wish to report a crime that was committed in your jurisdiction.

Alas, it was committed by Abbe Rifkn, Esq., an employee of yours.

She confessed to this crime in a column written by Joan Fleischman and appearing on Page 8A in this morning’s Miami Herald.

While driving North on I-95 in Miami/Dade she saw a bumper sticker on a car in front of her. It had a 4 letter word on it. The word began with a ‘t’ and ended with a ‘t’. The word was neither tint nor taut. It was twat.

“I literally almost drove off the road,” Rifkin says. “It is a

‘vulgar term for female genitalia – and I was offended.”

She grabbed her cell phone and snapped a picture.

The Miami Herald

Page 8A

Today

Would it be unfair of me to assume that she was driving at or near the speed limit? Would it be unfair of me to assume that she lost control of her car? Would it be unfair of me to assume that she changed lanes unsafely? Would it be unfair of me to assume that she was driving either carelessly or recklessly? Would it be unfair of me to assume that she endangered the lives of others? Would it be unfair of me to assume that while she was fetching her camera phone, sighting same, and shooting the offending word she was breaking a lot of laws?

Further, upon receipt of this citizen’s complaint, when you cite her and suspend her from official duties, could you assign her the task of compiling a list of other words that she finds “offensive”? That way I’ll know what I can, and, more importantly, cannot say when I am in Miami. The thought of offending a woman who has the force of law on her side fills me with dread.

For example, when Shakespeare has Hamlet tell Ophelia to “get thee to a nunnery”, nunnery means whore house. Should I bowdlerize that particular word? How about the entire play? The last scene is as bloody as a busy morning in an abattoir. Some people are offended by such gore.

“Nude Descending a Stair Case”, by Duchamp, caused riots in Paris when it was unveiled. Should we burn that?

I hope Ms. Rivkin, “a veteran Miami/Dade prosecutor”, is not Muslim. If she were she’d be sharpening the knives waiting for somebody to publish cartoons about that well known mideastern paedophile, Mohammed.

A long time ago an old Greek combat veteran said,

“FREE MEN SPEAK WITH FREE TONGUES”

If Ms. Rifkin’s dudgeon is raised at TWAT what does she think of The Vagina Monologues? What about Andres Serrano’s marvelous piece of art known as “Piss Christ”? How about “Corpus Christi”, a play subsidized in part by the American taxpayer, that has as its major premise that the crucifixion of Jesus Christ happened because of a lovers’ quarrel, the lovers being Jesus Christ and Judas Iscariot?

There is an astonishing number of Christians who were deeply, profoundly offended by the above. What recourse do they have?

Lear had 3 daughters. 2 of them turned out to be true rotters. A case could be made to call them cunning runts, couldn’t it? Did I just misspeak?

The above mentioned things offend me. Do I have the right, a right that Ms. Rifkin, “a veteran Miami/Dade prosecutor”, claims to have by virtue of her gender, to remove the offending member? If not, why not? Why should Ms. Rifkin’s being offended be superior to mine?

Henry the Fifth tells his men on the eve of battle that they will remember “with advantages” the feats they do the next day.

We know that Stewart Tabares, the man with the audacity to have a Florida state sanctioned license plate that has the letters TWAT on it, has “seen the elephant” as a Marine in Afghanistan. Kipling spoke of being “wounded on Afghanistan’s plains”. The next part of that line – “and the women come out to cut up what remains” – gives him the right, a right to remember “with advantages” his service to his country. Notwithstanding the offended sensibilities of Ms. Rivkin, “a veteran Miami/Dade prosecutor”, how about if she were not a “veteran Miami/Dade prosecutor”? In addition, an official agency of the Government of Florida, the Department of Motor Vehicles, has issued him a license plate with the letters TWAT printed on it.

It’s not like he had cursed the Koran or called Senator B. Hussein Obama a Negro of something as offensive as that.

What other part of “Congress shall make no law…” does she have a problem with?

Five years ago I had an official visit from a Broward Sheriff’s Deputy for something I had written to an elected official. The first thing he said to me was that I “was not in trouble”. Mindful of the fact that Auden said “only the man with his finger on the trigger has free will” I said to him, “You have a badge and a fucking gun. What do you mean I’m not in trouble?”

Check her license. Check her registration. Check her insurance coverage. Issue her a citation. As many as the law allows. If she objects cuff her and bring her in. Keep the MACE close by.

It’s the least that should happen to a “veteran Miami/Dade prosecutor” who thinks that the law should be to her satisfaction.

Antigone would weep.

CC – Abbe Rivkin, Esq.