Fla. Rep. Dan Gelber

April 27, 2008

State Representative Dan Gelber

1920 Meridian Avenue

Miami, Florida 33135-1818

RE: It’s just not fair. A chance to try some of the new math on sharing Florida state tax revenues as caterwauled by you in this morning’s Miami Herald.

Representative Gelber,

I almost wanted to call you Danny Boy but I was able to resist it. “Just Say No” does work. On to business.

“I think we have been getting hammered. I fully believe that whether we look

at the pie or the pieces, it is pretty clear that Miami/Dade is a donor county.”

The Miami Herald

Page 29A

Today

You

G-d almighty, but I thought you were one of the smart ones. As my dear friend, the Great Nechemie, CPA to the rich and famous and then to me, used to say, “My contempt is not personal”.

I’ll write this slowly as if you were the mental equal of Broward County Commissioner Stacy Ritter, nee State Representative Stacy Ritter. She is the poster child for dumb, Homerically dumb public servants. Now, since she thinks it’s OK to vote to give her husband public money, she becomes the poster girl for ethically challenged, dumber than dirt public servants. But I digress.

You say that Miami/Dade gives more than it gets.

Pay close attention to the following:

#1 – Florida has 67 counties.

#2 – The tax revenue that flows from them to Tallahassee adds up to 100%.

#3 – Since you can only put 32 ounces into a quart bottle it stands to reason that you can only take 32 ounces out of same bottle.

#4 – [It’s too late for Florida to get into the sub-prime mortgage market. Do you think it would be wise to take a portion of the tax revenue and buy lottery tickets? After all, if we lose we win. It’s all for the children, isn’t it?]

#5 – The United States Constitution and the Florida Constitution both declare equality under the law as, to cite modern American Liberal persiflage, the paradigmatic template of all governmental activities plus all social constructs.

#6 – Am I going too fast for you?

#7 – For Miami/Dade to get more somebody has to get less.

#8 – Who gets less?

#9 – How do you decide who gets less?

I know that the governing mantra of the Democratic Party – and I think that you as s Super Delegate should give serious thought to Kucinich or Gravel as a compromise candidate – is “robbing Peter to pay Paul will always have Paul’s support” but it breaks down here.

Should the less populous counties pay less state gas tax because while they have further to travel there are never any traffic jams?

Should FPL charge them less for electricity because they don’t use as much power for air conditioning?

Here’s a thought. Charge out of state tourists more for buying gasoline, orange juice, and key lime pie.

Take your time.

Here’s another thought.

Secession.