Congressman Peter DeFazio

September 1, 2009

Congressman Peter DeFazio
405 East 8th Avenue #2030
Eugene, Oregon 97401

RE: Good deeds should be rewarded.

Congressman DeFazio,

Put a special tax on oil trades?
How about a special tax on all lumber trades?
How about a special tax on something that Oregon specializes in?

A framed picture of Mayor Bud Clark of Portland sits above my desk. He was the last intellectually honest politician in Oregon. [As an aside, who the Hell gave out those stupid pet nick names for your schools? Duck, here comes the Beaver! Somebody was on something that day.]

My grandfather was always amazed that there were more horses’ assess than there were horses’ heads. He figured that the number should always be in balance. One ass; one head. He would be saddened to know that in Oregon that is not the case.

Reading your tax policy caused my fingernails to curl backwards. I read them to my cat. He barked. My fish held their breath.

Accordingly, I name you this week’s winner of a most prestigious award. It is enhanced by the fact that it is only Tuesday.

You are proclaimed

HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK

No Affirmative Action for you. You got it the old fashioned way.

You earned it!


Kevin Smith