Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz

September 27, 2009

Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz
10100 Pembroke Boulevard
Pembroke Pines, Florida 33026

RE: “Government can…improve one’s quality of life” – Some comments on your homily in this morning’s Sun-Sentinel.

My dear Congressperson,

So soon after the anniversary [9/18/01] of you sending the police, men with badges, guns, and “the force of Law” to my house because you didn’t like something I wrote you are back with the rhetorical incontinence for which you are justifiably famous. Since you are the poster girl for modern American Liberalism, the “triumph of hope over experience”, the paradigmatic template for intentions not results being the measuring stick, the political mindset that means you never have to say you’re sorry whenever you mess up a two car funeral, I could only expect the worse.

I’ll say this for you.

You never let me down.

Your second sentence says “Our soldiers were dying in a war of choice that most Americans opposed”. Facts are hard things. I suppose it’s the burden of flying with Congressman Meek, to and from Washington, D.C. that has dulled the memory part of your brain. 3/4s of the Congress voted to send American soldiers into that war. Don’t you remember? You can check the Congressional Record. It’s there.

You said in February that “some adjustments” were all that was needed to finish the job in Afghanistan. Those “adjustments” now include 40,000 additional troops. I hope that that change is minor because I would hate to see a major change.

Speaking of that neck of the woods, do you think we should encourage the Israelis to take out the Iranian nuclear facilities? They have the experience. You remember the raid at Osirak, don’t you? Imagine if Saddam Hussein had had nuclear weapons?

I know that you have your lovely knickers in a row over the minor dust up in Honduras. Whatever else they do down there they don’t flog women for being raped or stone them for adultery. Is there an Iranian clone of Barney Frank in their legislature? Can Christians or Jews publicly profess their faith anywhere in that country? Bibles and flags are regularly burned in our country. When they run out of toilet paper like Cuba would it not be environmentally wise and sensitive to use old Korans?

Why don’t we give the Israeli Air Force the green light? Our lips will say no but our hearts will say yes.

They’ll get the bad press but they will also get the silent thanks of the Saudis and the Egyptians. But enough about foreign policy.

You say that “Americans want to believe that their government is on their side, working for them”.

Shall we use the Post office as an example? How about AMTRAK? On the local level let’s include any Motor Vehicle office. If 4 levels of government couldn’t get a truck filled with ice and water across one bridge into New Orleans after Katrina why do you think they can manage health care?

One solution is close at hand. Put Granny and Gramps on the last unmelted iceberg. Float them out to sea towards some undrowned polar bears. Let the bears eat them. Offer them a credit against their death tax. [Who says the Lord Barack the Beneficent is opposed to all tax cuts?] There are multiple benefits there. By decreasing the surplus population you lessen the strain on Medicare. The notorious carbon footprint is diminished. The bears don’t eat the baby seals. Maybe Margaret Sanger was right. A periodic culling of the herd is good for society. At least that’s what her apt student, an out of work author named Adolph Hitler, thought.

If the government were to run health care the way they run public education I tremble. The main reason that Johnny can’t read is because failure is not punished. A good teacher is paid as much as a bad teacher. That is offensive to Logic and detrimental to the common weal. Bad football coaches are fired, sometimes in the middle of the season. What a high colonic it would be if group of parents were to toss the worst teacher in each school out the front door. They could have a raffle to see who gets to throw the pie at that thief of dreams.

Will bad doctors have tenure like bad teachers? Will pediatric patients have to sing the praises of Barack Hussein Obama to get their meds? Will welfare mothers be spayed after 2 births?

You end your hagiographical account by telling us what makes Little Debbie run.

You say that “I entered public service 17 years ago for the same reason that I remain in public service today: I want to help people make their lives better, and I believe that government can and should improve one’s quality of life.”

Not since I heard Bill O’Reilly say “I’m looking out for you” have I been so moved.


Here’s a plan to help make peoples’ lives better.

It concerns the Swine flu vaccine.

Get TV coverage for when you take your kids out of the public school they attend, they do attend public school, don’t they, and bring them over to the nearest clinic for their flu shots.

You will inspire all working moms to do the same.

I sent a note to Speaker Pelosi asking her to come down to Broward County. Now that she has “drained the swamp” and “changed the culture of corruption n Washington” she may have some spare time on her hands. It seems that some of your lodge brothers and sisters have raised the bar for stealing hot stoves. I wish I could say that the corruption is bi-partisan but it been so long since any Republicans have been in a position to steal that they probably have forgotten the play book. They would need at least a full term before they could get up to speed.

Meanwhile, the Affirmative Action tableau played out at the Federal Courthouse gladdens my heart. One woman and two African-Americans doing the perp walk was a refreshing sight.

Who says women and minorities are second class citizens here?





Kevin Smith


PS – Your detritus made it into the Miami Herald. In an article about the differences in health care in Hialeah and Weston you say that insurers cannot be allowed to exclude anyone for a pre-existing condition. Would not the Logic of your statement dictate that multiple offense drunk drivers be able to get automobile coverage? Would not the hospices be able to turn a profit if they could sell guaranteed issue life insurance to their patients? Just asking.
Does Weston have any low income or senior citizen housing? Why not put some of the “undeserving poor” from Hialeah on environmentally sensitive hybrid buses and send them to Weston? Just asking.
The average income in Weston is $99,000. The average income in Hialeah is $31,000. Why should Westoners have so much? Wouldn’t the quest for a “level playing field” demand that Weston give up a lot so that Hialeah can get more? Just asking.