September 12, 2009

Douglas C. Lyons
The Sun-Sentinel
200 East Las Olas Boulevard
Fort Lauderdale, Florida 33301

RE: Oil rigs in the Gulf of Mexico and how they are tied in with the “birthers” but not the “truthers” as outlined by you in your delightful column in this morning’s Sun-Sentinel.

Mr. Lyons,

You say that drilling in the Gulf of Mexico will “cement Florida’s legacy as the laboratory for just about every right-wing political initiative under the sun”.

You list school vouchers, the FCATs, tax cuts, bazookas for everyone, faith-based initiatives, rainy weekends, rude Quebecois, the heartbreak of psoriasis, and ever increasing red tides in your series of non-sequiturs about the evil lurking in the hearts of Republicans everywhere.

Jeepers!

Who knew how “vast” and powerful the conspiracy was that Hillary Clinton warned us about? It actually got Cuba to drill in the Gulf. And it got China as a drilling partner.

Do you think we should send the United States Navy to stop this threat to Florida’s beaches?

Your company is in bankruptcy. Any cost savings plan will be appreciated. May I suggest that the World HQ of the Sun-Sentinel stop using its air conditioning? Have you looked into wind mills to power your printing presses? Orvine borborygymy looks promising. If it doesn’t work you can feed all the Bo Peeps to the pythons.

Meanwhile you’ll have the satisfaction of decreasing your carbon footprint, saving the manatees, stopping polar bears drowning, and patching the hole in the ozone layer.

It’s just a small turd in the global punch bowl but if off-shore drilling is bad for the people of Florida why is it good for the people of Brazil? Further, why is the Obama administration, through the U.S. owned Ex-Im Bank, participating in a $10,000,000,000 loan to drill in Brazilian waters? That’s b as in billions and billions. If I told you that the main drilling company is owned by George Soros would you think that I was one of those wing nut people who believe that the United States government engineered 9/11 or that Obama is Osama bin Laden’s nephew?

White people are still a majority in Florida.

There are more Black people in Brazil than any other country in the Americas. The overwhelming majority of them are descendants of African slaves. Why is it OK to subject them to the environmental risks of oil pollution?

You say that “right-wing political initiative[s]…have eliminated Affirmative Action”. Would not fairness, justice, and equity demand a level playing field when it comes to potential pollution?

Could Florida Energy Associates, identified by you as “a special interest group of Florida business associations and Texas oil interests”, have gotten to Obama? Private school tuition for his daughters is more that a $1,000 a week. His wife likes expensive clothes. They take big vacations. He’s from Chicago. After Hudson County, New Jersey it is land of the cash stuffed “white envelope”.

Perhaps it is a stretch but it is plausible.

Just like TNT in the Twin Towers.

Now that he has a lot of free time maybe Van Jones can look into it.






Kevin Smith



PS – I can never keep my aluminum foil hat, the one with the gravitating transponders on the sides, aligned with the Mother ship. How do you do it?