Congressman Brad Sherman

July 14, 2010

Congressman Brad Sherman
5000 Van Nuys Blvd.
Sherman Oaks, CA 91403

Congressman Sherman,

You say, with no hint of sarcasm, that you are “unaware” of the Black Panther voter intimidation brouhaha in Philadelphia. That’s the one where the finalists in the Shaft wanabee contest, armed with small bats, approached White voters and said, “Kumbaya my ass, cracker. How about a smack upside the Head?” That one.

After reading your CV, and may I say it is rather impressive what with degrees from UCLA and Harvard and what appears to be some time in the real world, I ma faced with two choices.

#1 – You are a horse’s ass. My grandfather, the legendary Jack Smith from Bayonne, could never understand why there were more horses’ asses than horses’ heads. He figured the number should always be in balance. If he had stayed around to see the flummeries and persiflage of modern American Liberals he would have known instantly. Accordingly, I name you

HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK

#2 – You had taken advantage of the new marijuana laws. If you are half a dozen tokes over the line you probably shouldn’t be talking to your constituents. If your political mentors were/are Cheech and Chong and you walk around with a joint the size of a Genoa salami best not to get into a debate over current events. I prefer to believe that as a weeny backbencher your favorite potion of forgetfulness is organic Chablis made from grapes harvested by sensitive foreigners seeking their piece of the diminishing American Dream. I understand that the grape pickers would like to spend 2 weeks all expenses paid in Camp Gitmo. But enough of that.

Be proud of your achievement. Revel in the fact that you have once again proved Dr. Johnson right. “Such stupidity, sir, is not found in nature.”




Kevin Smith