February 11, 2016

Art, life, and the mirth-filled inversion of both as they try to imitate each other

The sight of George C. Scott as George S. Patton climbing the outside stairs of the minor basilica in Palermo to genuflect in obeisance to the Archbishop and then to kiss his ring as a symbol of his power and of his respect is the picture of a great leader going about his business.

The sight of Bernie Sanders with Al Sharpton in a breakfast tableau in a Harlem restaurant where the menu consisted of bacon, both Canadian and domestic, and ham hocks, decidedly treyf, shows a man, to cite C.S. Lewis, “without a chest” whose  favorite color is plaid.

He too kissed the prelate’s ring. Surely the sign of a politician seeking support, you say. The difference here is that the Reverend Sharpton, “smart and no fool”, kept his ring in his back pocket. Turning the other cheek has a different meaning for a guy who has made a living predicated on forgiving White guys of guilt for something thatg ended 151 years ago.

I know because I have a relative still at Gettysburg ‘wrapped in his “faded coat of blue”.

It is a known fact, such fact being told to me by confidential sources which because they are confidential must remain confidential, that when Bernie was a kid he had no knowledge of Captain Video, Howdy Doody, Hopalong Cassidy, Superman, and even Uncle Miltie. 

His parents, closeted Wobblies, told him of the Triangle Shirtwaist Fire. His first hero was Joe Hill. His war story good guys fought in the Abraham Lincoln Brigade against the Fascists. Bukharin was a speed bump on the road to true Socialism. Lysenko was on to something. To Hell with Godot! Would Lefty ever get here? Trotsky deserved it. The gap from August 22, 1939 to June 21, 1941 was never mentioned. George Orwell, Arthur Koestler, and Whittaker Chambers were verboten names in the Sanders house. Nixon was evil, McCarthy was worse, and Hiss was railroaded and how could the country turn against Adlai took the place of Willie, Mickey, and the Duke. 

I struck him from the list of potential donors who are asked to send money to pay for a 24 hour a day, 7 days a week, armed guard with bayonets facing in to prevent Julie and Ethel from getting out of their graves to infect the body politick yet again. The only exception to this will be their random disinterring to see if they are still dead and a return trip to the hot seat if there is any doubt. High protein, gluten free worm food is as good an ending as is imaginable for a secular humanist.

[If you don’t know who Julie and Ethel were I envy you for the revelations that await even a cursory Google hunt will reveal.

Break time

I read where a theory posited by Einstein in 1915 has just been proved. 1915 was not one of Europe’s better years. The British were determined to keep attacking as much as 5 miles of German machine guns by going over the top and then advancing line abreast. They went with empty rifles lest they be tempted to stop and shoot. They were allowed to fix bayonets. To be fair, the Germans tried it going the other way. Each side hoped that the other side would run out of bullets before they ran out of men. Indeed, “the lights were going out all over Europe”.

Meanwhile, back in Berlin, at Humboldt University [alas, not a FBS school] Einstein waved his magic wand and said that there were black holes out there that were running each other. The sounds made by the crash would be detectible once the machines were built to detect them. The machines, having been built, detected them exactly where he said they would be. It took 100 years to prove his theory using machines that even he could not have imagined

We should thank Galileo for looking through his pre-primitive telescope and saying pero si muove. When he did that he unsettled 15 centuries of “settled science”. That’s why the Ptolemy Home School of Astronomy never caught on. My tangential connection to Einstein requires some good single malt whisky to get the full flavor of it.

On the other hand…I listened to Janet Yellen testifying before Congress about something really important. I’m not sure what it was because she gives monotones a bad name. The only way to stay from straightlining when she talks w3ould be to have 2 or 3 ferrets in your Fruit of the Looms. Some evil speculators took an already falling market and made it wet its bed.

I then heard Hillary Clinton laugh. Her laugh will make you beg for nine inch nails from 2 hands drag along the blackboard to the tune of making you want to put an ice pick in each ear as far as they can go. 

I am fan, a big fan, of our Constitution. The 8^th Amendment explicitly prohibits the government from inflicting “cruel and unusual punishment”. Forget Abu Ghraib. Forget Devil’s Island. If you want to find out who killed Kennedy, who burned down the Reichstag, why Handsome Billy from Hot Springs has gotten away with it for all those years, or why falling toast always lands with the buttered side down just chain the usual suspects to the wall and have 2 minute loops of Janet Yellen reading anything followed by Hillary Clinton laughing in a way that causes bats to become lemmings.

Nobody gets past 20 minutes. Beethoven was deaf and he turned out OK, didn’t he?

Thomas Gomez played Curley in “Key Largo”. He gave a civics lesson in how Democracies work. “You have your guy run for Mayor. You count the votes. If he doesn’t win you count them again. And again. And again. Then he wins. That’s Democracy in action.”

If it were a prize fight the ref would have stopped it on cuts in the 2^nd round. Hillary got beat worse than a rented mule. Somehow Hillary came out of New Hampshire with more delegates than Bolshie Bernie. She took Iowa by winning 6 coin tosses in a row. Mayor Daley, Mayor Hague, and Abe Fortas who counted the votes for Landslide Lyndon in Texas in 1948 would have been proud. If Bernie is true to his forebears he will settle the matter in South Carolina. Defenestration has gotten a bad name. It is acceptable; indeed it is preferred because of its finality, its terminal finality, on the road to true Socialism.

Who cares about free school? If you want this post-millennial’s vote “Free Beer” is the way to go. 

KEVIN SMITH

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

PS – President B.O. has his Muslim pals fighting at Bunker Hill. He has them writing the Constitution. He has them ghostwriting for Mark Twain. They then became the power and the money behind Warren Buffett and Bill Gates. The polio vaccines, A/Cs, call waiting, Jeopardy, frozen food, instant water, microwaves, Downton Abbey, fax machines, disco, and the Concorde came about because Allah the Almighty and the Compassionate and Blessed be his name, willed that the infidels should have them. 

Would it not make sense and would it not be a gesture to show that the policies of Kumbaya that made President B.O. so successful would be carried on in an administration headed by HRC? Here’s my plan.

Pardon Sirhan Sirhan.

No one in this country has been imprisoned longer for a similar crime. Perhaps some half way house time in Camp Gitmo might be in order. You could make him the last prisoner released. 

One more thing.

If Gitmo is a recruiting tool for the murder happy WOGs who want to kill us, rape our wives, crucify or sons, and sell our daughters into sexual slavery what inspired the 19 bloody assassins on September 11, 2001? Gitmo wasn’t there. What made them do it? Get back to me, favore.