Bambi afnd The Right Stuff

September 14, 2008

Senator B. Hussein Obama
P.O. Box 8102
Chicago, Illinois 60680

RE: Text messaging and The Right Stuff

Senator Bambi,

Have you heard from Senator Curley Biden lately? To paraphrase Samuel Johnson, “The man’s an ass and that’s the end of it”. The dummy thinks Manual Labor is the dude from Huejutla who does his lawn. Do not – repeat – do not let him handle sharp instruments or operate heavy equipment without adult supervision.

But that’s not why I write.

The fact that Senator McCain will never be mistaken for a nerd or a geek plus the fact that he will pose no threat to Bill Gates is, to me, good news.

I don’t know how to fly a plane but that didn’t prevent me from getting on board and flying to Dallas last June to see my granddaughters last June.

I don’t know how to perform a cardiac catherization but that didn’t prevent me from having one last June in Dallas.

Here’s a pop quiz for you.

When Senator McCain was in his mid-20s he was trying to “catch the 3 wire”. What were you doing in your mid-20s?

I don’t think Senator McCain ever knew how to build a jet plane. He knew that the ideal carrier landing for a Naval Aviator was to “catch the 3 wire”.

Incidentally, people in the United States Air Force who fly jet planes are called pilots. People in the United States Navy who fly jet planes are called Naval Aviators. [A quick Google search for Torpedo Squadron Eight will show you why they can call themselves anything they want. A similar search of the United States Eight Air Force will show you why they can do the same.]

As to how you spent your time when you were in your twenties, the years that Churchill said were the most important, if your moveable feast of a resume is correct you were “community organizing” the Bejeezus out of Chicago. How did that turn out? Did you rid the place of those accursed Daleys? Did you toss the rascals out of office? Were you the one who sent Democratic Congressman Rostenkowski to jail? Were you the one who blew the whistle, so to speak, on pedophile Democratic Congressman Mel Reynolds? If memory serves he was convicted of child abuse, sentenced to prison, subsequently pardoned by President Clinton and hired by Democratic Congressman Jesse Jackson. Is this an example of Change we can believe in?

More importantly, were the people better off when you left then they were when you arrived?

Last week there was a news story that about 1000 inner city youth – that’s doublespeak for urban Black kids – from Chicago went to Wilmette and Winnetka to register for school. Is there something wrong with the public schools in Chicago? Wouldn’t they have benefited from “community organizing”? I must disclose that I am an honorary alumnus of the Catholic grammar school run in Chicago by Father George Clements.

Don’t you think it would be “cool” – your description of what government should be – if the schools worked in Chicago? Is that why you don’t send your girls to public schools there? If you are elected will your girls go attend any of the very fine grammar schools in Washington? If not, why not?

Anyway, as I’m sure you know by now, Senator McCain can’t text message or e-mail or use a keyboard because he had his arms and shoulders broken in North Vietnam. I am told that he can’t even brush his hair.

Stop the presses!

Somebody just told Curley Biden that Delaware wasn’t a slave state. He said he wanted to pull his hair out but his plugs, Gorilla Glued, “copper sheathed and iron bottomed”, won’t budge.

Maybe you should tell Whoopi Goldberg. Maybe Delaware won’t have to “succeed” from the Union.

Rats!

KS

PS – The same researcher who found out that Senator McCain couldn’t e-mail should try to find out if he attended the Tail Hook Convention in San Diego. That was the one where pilots who had qualified for carrier landings proved that Kipling was right. That will fly just as well as the smarmy, fecally aromatic bit about computers. Also, there is rumor that President Handsome Billy from Hot Springs sent only 2 e-mails in his time in the White House. One he sent several hundred times and the other he sent but once; “The coast is clear” and “Burn that dress”. Find out about that also.