April 21, 2016

Marc Zuckerberg – CEO

Facebook

Menlo Park CA 94025

Mr. Zuckerberg,

I know the difference between Caravaggio and Chiaroscuro. My last gun fight was June 3, 1993. I’ve flown the Concorde. I “created” more jobs in the ‘80s than all the companies on the Dow Jones Industrial Average. I have been 1,000 feet underground mining coal. I am a recovering wine snob. I know how to attack a 2 deep zone. I have signed 10Ks. Willie Nelson and Y0-Yo Ma are electronic companions on long car rides. I was on Jeopardy. I led a protest at Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve in London. I once got $5,000 for having lunch, a lunch I did not pay for. I am a proud legatee and fierce defender of all the stuff that the DWEMs have gathered up. I put cigars in my father’s coffin in case he met someone he knew. I know that “the sins we do two by two we pay for one by one”.

What in the name of Professor Irwin Corey do you mean when you tell me to start “importing” my email contacts on my confusing Facebook account? Having come to the conclusion that I will never find a Rosetta Stone I will settle for today’s Holy Grail, the elusive Austrian/English dictionary. Maybe that will help me “import” my contacts.

Kevin Smith

PS – Ain’t America great? You gave $100,000,000 to the Newark, NJ public school system doubtless with the hope that you could help Johnny read. It was your money, money that you came by fair and square. It’s OK by m if you want to throw it off the back of a moving train. That’s why, as the immortal Big Mike from Bayonne still says, “You never see anybody swimming TO Cuba.”

PPS – Tomorrow, Earth Day, means I get to wear my PROUD GLOBAL WARMER cap.