April 3, 2016

Gary Stein

The Sun Sentinel

RE: Some comments on your unlinkable column in today’s Sun Sentinel on the prospects for a Donald Trump/Governor Rick Scott traveling show.

Big Stein, 

When you’re right, you’re right. The idea of a Donald Trump/Governor Rick Scott show is spot on. Shades of Rowan & Martin; Ferrante & Teicher; Abbot & Costello, but not Laurel & Hardy.

The Donald’s hair and his orange complexion coupled with Governor Scott’s always evolving “This is my first day with my new tongue cum jobs creation” would be unstoppable. I smell Grammy. Or Emmy. Or whichever oppressed female the White power structure chooses to honor.

I missed a chance to be a $ backer of “Sugar Babies” because of foul weather. I say now that I will plow through whatever the rightfully pissed off Mother Nature, the pissed off itness being caused by fossil fuels, Islamophobia, and the Koch Brothers, throws at me to be a backer of the to be formed Alpha Gump/Curley Biden song and dance raree.

I now that Gump, nee Gore, Jr, was a tobacco growing, slum lord, industrial polluter whose father was a segregationist who also was a bag man for Armand Hammer who was in thralldom to the Russkies and Commies in the Kremlin. I also know that he sold his vote on Desert Shield/Desert Storm to the highest bidder. As a soupcon he is the only person I know of who flunked out of 2 graduate schools in the same semester, no mean feat by itself. You can have Little Stein look it up.

When he was on the bus with Bill & Hillary and his wife Thumper Gump heading to DC for the inauguration he really came into his own. Do you remember when they stopped at Monticello? Ask Little Stein to do some homework on Jefferson. For instance, why did he choose to exclude the fact that he was President of the United States from his tombstone? Ask him to find out how he dealt with the ISIS of the early 19^th century. The Marines still sing about it.

To me the highlight was when he stopped at a bust of Benjamin Franklin, the guy on the C-note, and said with the wonder reserved for someone who just discovered what he can do with his thumbs, “Whodat”?

But like pastrami needs mustard, like Burns needed Allen, it is impossible to think of Vice President Alpha Gump without thinking of Vice President Curley Biden. [I call him Curley not because of his Chia-Pet hair plugs but rather as a way to honor Curley, the smartest Stooge.

Forget about his plagiarisms. Forget about his hypocrisy in re things judicial. The man is colossally dumb that he makes Ricky Ray Rector seem like the head of Mensa.

The 2 of them would be like Bonnie & Clyde, pillage and plunder, Scylla & Charybdis and Pancho & Lefty.

Alpha doing the Macarena and Curley doing his Professor Irwin Corey impersonation, the one that makes him sound like William F. Buckley, Jr. would be boffo box office.

If Evita, a song and dance show about a hooker banging her way to the top can be made in a fabulously successful show business enterprise now its 45^th year of positive cash flow a show featuring those 2 jackasses could run for a century.

KEVIN SMITH

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

PS – If Little Stein isn’t too busy recovering from the travails of Spring Break have him take a peek at the 2000 election. It still must be a gigantic kick in the ass to realize that if VP Gump had won Tennessee, his home state, the Wascally Wepublicans in Florida could have stolen every single vote here and he still would have been elected President. There is a very fine line between comedy and tragedy, dontcha know.