Senator B. Hussein Obama

June 13, 2008

Senator B. Hussein Obama
@Democratic Party HQ
430 South Capitol Street S.E.
Washington, DC 20003

RE: Smears and such

Senator Obama,

Despite beautiful web site pages importuning me to buy a hat and believe in change I could not find a mailing address for you. I prefer a letter in an envelope with a stamp on it when I want to share my thoughts with someone. Besides, should you be elected and you are able to get universal, interplanetary, and, ultimately, intergalactic health care what better source of diligent and sensitive Federal workers other than the United States Post Office would you turn to for the implementation of what will surely be a labyrinthine scheme?

Here’s hoping this letter gets to you before the election.

I was very upset during the Presidential campaign of 1960.

If you ask anyone who was there the Democratic Party said that there was a “missile gap”. Further, they said such “gap” was caused by the negligence of the Republican administration.

It is well to note that 11 months and 2 days after the Allies invaded Europe Nazi Germany surrendered.

I don’t know how familiar you are with History but the man who led that invasion force was General Eisenhower. 8 years after WW2 ended he became President Eisenhower. That a man such as he would let his country slip into mortal peril is an example of a campaign smear that cannot be allowed to stand.

Let the record further show that it was he who sent the United States Army to Little Rock, Arkansas to see that nine Negroes [as they were known then] could attend high school. He did this despite the 100% opposition of every Democratic Senator from the South.

Talk about profiles in courage!

Senator Kennedy also said that “anyplace is defensible if free men wish to do so”. You may wish to Google Quemoy and Matsu to familiarize your self with the above. You may also wish to familiarize yourself with “we will pay any price and bear any burden in defense of liberty”. On second thought that may a bit too much for your plate.
Sometimes free speech is a burden.

I am a concerned citizen, a bit curmudgeonly perhaps, who knows that “politics ain’t beanbag”. There are some things, however, that are beyond the pale. When I hear them I’ll pass them on so that you may dispose of them in a timely and environmentally sensitive manner.

Here are a few of the whoppers gaining traction.

#1 – “I see dead people” – You look to be about as familiar with Memorial Day celebrations as you were with bowling. There is supposed to be a YOU-Tube clip of you at a Memorial Day service in which you praise those who fell in combat. Supposedly you say ”I see some of them walking here today”. It will take 50 years to overcome the damage that Senator Jay Forbes Kerry did to Henry the Fifth’s Agincourt speech so I rule out any connection there. Aristotle said that “something cannot be that which it is not”. You could not have seen dead men walking, could you? Perhaps Reverend Wright gave you a head’s up on the Second Coming. If so, you would be well advised to let those “embittered, gun toting, bible thumping” White people know. Do the math. You need their votes to win. Don’t worry about those San Francisco swells. They’d vote for you even if you were to become Blackula and shagged both Hillary and Bill. In fact, they’d probably continue a Cook County tradition and vote for you twice.

It’s something you have to get in front of.

#2 – “Michelle’s $4,000 a week raise” - There is a base canard circulating that upon your election to the United States Senate your wife, the lovely and charming Michelle my Belle, got a $4,000 a week raise from the hospital that employed her. Some people say there might be a connection. Some people say that, should you win in November, it was money well spent. However it plays out she was catapulted through that glass ceiling, wasn’t she? Since you filed a joint tax return for that year some might say that you benefited from it also. I say “Horsefeathers”! You remember what Bertie said to Jeeves, don’t you? “All evidence is circumstantial. Like when you find the trout in the milk.”

It I something you should address lest it get out of hand like the “missile gap”.

As soon as I hear more of the above I’ll share them with you.