Senator B. Hussein Obama

June 15, 2008

Senator B. Hussein Obama
@Democratic Party HQ
430 South Capitol Street, SE
Washington, DC 20003

RE: Another helpful hint

Senator Obama,

Many people feel that you are an elitist. Allah be praised but thank Sweet Baby Jesus the bowling ball was – Surprise! – round. That, plus inertia, enabled you to score as high as you did. You looked like you would rather being having your ears cropped than be doing that.

“I mean have you been to Whole Foods lately and seen the price of arrugala?”

Barry, Barry or May I call you Hussein? That is not the way to get the people in the VFW hall to vote for you. Thank God there is no picture of you doing a shot – a la Hillary – of Crown Royal. The picture was so condescending. People don’t do shots of Crown Royal. They do shots of Four Roses or Wild Turkey. Besides, Crown Royal is a Canadian whiskey. She missed a chance to bash NAFTA.

A door closes but a window opens.

Notwithstanding the fact that Budweiser is a terrible beer it is a uniquely American institution. It has been around forever as America’s own terrible beer.

It is under siege by, and let us thank God for such blessings, a Belgian beer conglomerate. [On the merits, an outfit that is responsible for both Bass and Beck’s couldn’t help but make Bud better. That’s not the point. The point is to win an election.]

Here’s a chance for you to strike a blow for America.

Do you remember the Ports Dubai deal? The deal to take over management of several of America’s port facilities fell apart not because they were incompetent – they manifestly were/are not so – or because they were politically inept – the simpler days of White Envelopes stuffed with cash lining the pockets of politicians have been replaced by consulting fees for lobbyists – but rather because people here did not want to see such a visible part of the country being run by WOGs.

Foreign invaders, led by a horde of sly Walloons, supported by Flemish jackals, want to ravish an American icon. Belgians are known for their lace, their chocolate, and some of their dogs The French lost a big fight there. Also, the Germans like to trample them.

You must go to St. Louis, grab a six pack of Bud, thumb you nose at History, and say “This will not stand”.

Governor Dukakis, AKA “Wee Mikey”, the man who gave us Willie Horton, told Iowa farmers to raise endives. Better he should have told them to plant tofu trees and pasta bushes or succotash vines. Then you stand up and kvetch about the price of arrugala. [If you plan on spending time in Broward County kvetch is a word with which you may wish to become more familiar.] A lot of people think arrugala is part of the Soprano family. A lot of those people vote.

Everybody, including those of us who hate Anheuser-Busch on its merits, knows that Bud is a beer made by Americans. It’s time to secure our borders.

The Chrysler Building will be sold to foreigners. The buyers? People from the Gulf People who wear robes and stone women. They don’t like Jews much, either. Remember that the next time you’re at a B’nai B’rith breakfast in Broward. Tell them that as the ultimate goy you will block the sale, disassembling, and shipping of the landmark building to the Gulf to be used as a tourist attraction. I mean what do they think it is? London Bridge?


SAVE BUDWEISER
American beer brewed for Americans by Americans

Who says politics, even the politics of change, can’t be put on a bumper sticker? The “embittered” guys you pissed off by telling your truth are beer drinkers. They will love it.