Dallas County Commissioner John Wiley Price

July 12, 2008

Dallas County Commissioner John Wiley Price
1506 E. Langdon Road
Dallas, Texas 75216

RE: Horses’ Asses, Blackness, - Are they joined at the hip?

Commissioner Wiley,

Let us stipulate that you objected to someone using the term “black hole” as being racist. If you did not say that then feel free to stop reading. If you did then either continue reading or have someone read it to you ‘cuz there may be some big words.

If “black hole” offends you what do you make of “black board”? How about “black eye”? How about “black magic”? Does “blackout” tick you off? Does “blackmail” make you want to smack somebody? Would you overcome your racial pride and step on a “black widow”? Have you ever seen “black ice”? For that matter have you ever been visited by the “Black Dog”? Should we ban “black mole”? Does the “Black Hole of Calcutta” fall under your gimlet eye or does the fact the White guys were tortured by Brown guys there let it slip in under your racially sensitive radar? How about we start to fix potholes with “Plaid Top”?

I will lead the crusade to have Ben & Jerry ban “black cherry” and “black raspberry” ice cream from their stores. I hope that will make Mrs. B. Hussein Obama “proud” of me.

“Blacksmith” is one of my favorites and I’m White. Under no circumstances will I allow you to ban “Black Label”.

I have 3 granddaughters living not 35 miles from where you pollute the public air with your Homerically imbecilic nostrums. I shan’t tell what town they live in lest you “black ball” them. Never fear. Your nit-wit syllabub, flubdub jabberings have not gone unnoticed. Please don’t confuse me with Jesse Jackson. I won’t reach for my sling blade “to cut your nuts out”.

It is my pleasure, perhaps privilege is a better word, to tell you that you have won a most prestigious award. I hereby name you


HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK
[BLACK ELECTED OFFICIAL SECTION]

It is an award not lightly given. Unlike so many things in life there are no set asides, there are no racial preferences; most assuredly there is no Affirmative Action here.

You got yours the old fashioned way.

You earned it.

After I etch your name onto the Wall of Shame of previous winners I will have some “Black pudding”. I think, for desert, if the word police allow, a “Black and White sundae” would be appropriate.

Ask the attorney for the Dallas County Commission if he ever heard of a dead White guy named “Blackstone”. If he did, fire him.

You, like everything else in Texas, are supersized. I could go from Brownsville to the Red River to Muleshoe to Eagle Pass and not find a moron bigger or dumber than you.


PS – Do you remember the “Black” commissioner in Washington, DC who objected to a White dude using the word “niggardly”? Is he a cousin of yours?