Congressperson Debbie Wasserman-Schultz

July 21, 2008

Congressperson Debbie Wasserman-Schultz
10100 Pembroke Pines Boulevard
Pembroke Pines, Florida 33028

RE: It must be jet lag or maybe you’re drinking some mAL kool-aid on the plane.

My dear Congressperson,

I have a copy of your article on oil and gas drilling in the Eastern Gulf that was published in the Sun-Sentinel on July 17, 2008.

As usual it is replete with errors of fact and larded with half, quarter, and eighth truths that modern American Liberals use when its time to feed the traditional “balloon juice” to the nit-wits who believe such tripe. It is the modern mental equivalent of pan et arena. That’s Latin for bread and circuses.

I used to think you were too smart to fall for the rhetorical incontinence that Democrats feed to their lumpenmenschen. But then I read that you are “moving to hold OPEC accountable for price fixing that increases the cost of oil”. God’s Holy Trousers but that’s Guinness Book of Records dumb. Didn’t your pal Hillary say that she wanted to sue OPEC? Where do you sue Hugo Chavez? If you sue him in Venezuela may I suggest you bring the Marine Corps with you. If you sue OPEC in Teheran see if you can get the Israeli Air Force to help you.

I read an article this morning in the Wall Street Journal – Do you still read it now that it’s in the hands of that notorious anti-Liberal meanie, K. Rupert Murdoch? Did you ever read it? – about a well that was drilled in the Gulf of Mexico. It was 32,550 feet. It cost $200,000,000 when its owner, the hated Exxon-Mobil, stopped drilling.

The well was dry. That should have been a cause for joy among the tree hugging morons who are Luddites at heart. If it had been productive maybe it could have befouled the beaches of Gulf Coast Florida.

STOP THE PRESSES!

This well wasn’t drilled in Tampa Bay. It wasn’t drilled off Sanibel. It was drilled off the coast of Louisiana. What would have happened if it had leaked? Does Florida have a way to stop oil from wells off the coasts of Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, or Alabama from hitting the beaches of Florida?

How does that work?

I seem to recall that Canute tried to show that the tides were subject to his will. That is all he is remembered for. Herodotus tells us that Persian Emperors invading

Greece would have the waters flogged if the weather was foul. Who says we can’t learn from the past?

How about oil from wells off the coast of Mexico?

What if they leak? Can we use undocumented workers from Huejutla to mop up the mess?

What if Cuba hires China to drill in their part of the Florida Straits? Do you think we should use the United States Navy to prevent it?

I mention this because the well called Blackbeard is about to be opened and drilled again. This time it will be much deeper and, perhaps, angled. This is not good news for manatees and other bird brains who think it is good not to have our own oil and gas.

You say in your article that “lifting the moratorium on Outer Continental Shelf drilling would not have a significant impact on domestic crude oil and natural gas prices before 2030”. Your colleague in the Senate, Senator Richard Durbin [D – Ill], known to his friends as “Little Dick”, says the time frame is 8 to 14 years.

Let’s split the difference. Either side of 15 years will suit me.

Why should a 16 year old high school student pay into Social Security if their payout is more than a half a century away?

I am going to suggest that my youngest granddaughter not return to school in September. 8 years of grammar school followed by 4 years of high school followed by 4 years of college followed by 2, 3, maybe 4 years of graduate school. Hey, that’s as much as 20 years before a hint of a payoff. Better she becomes an I-Pod whiz.

I keep asking this but, since you never answer I’ll keep asking, if you ever carpool do you take your kids to a public school or a private school? Should Senator B. Hussein Obama win the election do you think he should send his daughters to one of the really fine public schools in Washington, DC or should he do like the Clintons and the Gores did?

I am proud of my 7 League carbon footprints. Here’s a plan for Democrats in Congress. Turn off the air conditioning in the Capitol. You run both Houses. It should be a snap.

Your babbling flapdoodle on acreage tells me that you know nothing – zero – about the oil and gas business. Do you think that oils wells are drilled one to an acre? Maybe you should do some reading on those flights to and from DC.

Here’s one suggestion for cutting back on CO2.

Why don’t you and your colleagues try holding your breath? Count backwards from 1787. I picked that date on purpose. It has something to do with the Constitution. That’s another thing you know nothing about.