Carl Hiaasen The Miami Herald

October 10, 2010

Carl Hiaasen
The Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, FL 33132-1693

RE: In which answers for all social problems will be given if only we vote for Amendment 4. After all, “they” know better than we do.

Mr. Hiaasen,

I’ll say this for you. Your columns rekindle my sense of noblesse oblige.

Your columns show that it is possible to earn an AARP card without thinking. Don’t confuse feelings with thought. You have a wretched excess of feelings. “Under the Lion’s Paw” updated; Charles and Mary Beard were right; Jimmy Carter was really OK; Thank God for Gorbachev; Gore was oxed; Got a problem? Pass a law. Problem solved, right? “Why can’t we all get along”?

I believe that “while the light is left to burn the vilest sinner my yet return”. If you consider me an earthbound cultural and economic “Hound of Heaven” it will be like “a spoonful of sugar helping the medicine go down”.

#1 – “Floridians are fed up with lousy planning” – Limiting ourselves to the 20th century can you give me some examples of “good planning”? Lenin? Stalin? Huey Long? Mussolini? Pol Pot? Mugabe? Johnson?

It is not the adjective; it’s the noun.

If “lousy” is replaced with “good” where would Nehru or Castro go?

Nancy Pelosi, and can you picture her taking the FCATs, says that “we have to pass the law to see what’s in it”. Is that an example of “good planning”?

Would “good planning” have prevented the Marlins Stadium? The tunnel to the Azores? The Arts Center?

I’m sure you’ve heard of Hayek. Your assignment is to read “The Road to Serfdom”. There will be a test.

#2 – “It’s the reason so many Florida cities look like they were planned by chimpanzees on LSD” – Why pick on Timothy Leary? Don’t you believe in evolution? Would “good” planning have allowed the Seminole, the Miccosukee, and the Fugowi to be exempt from the rules that govern the rest of Florida?

#3 – “Much will depend of how the language is interpreted…”

Who gets to “interpret” the language? Justice Scalia or Justice Breyer? Justice Ginzberg or Justice Thomas? Why have referendums at all? Why not let everything be decided by Judges? Modern American Liberals believe that when somebody’s ass is wrapped in a black robe they become taller and smarter. Plus, they sing better. If “quis custodiet ipsos custodiet” means the same as it meant when I studied Latin we must fear the judiciary as much as we fear the legislative branch and the executive branch. Madison, the great role model for height challenged solons, and Jefferson warned us of that more than 200 years ago.

I enclose a definition of “The Rule of Law” that mALs regard the same as Dracula regards dawn, an assault rifle filled with silver bullets, and an elephant clove of garlic.

#4 – “…which is why taxes are so brutal in Florida’s most densely populated counties…” Gad dang it but that’s not only wrong it’s, it’s…stupid. Are you saying that densely populated political entities have high taxes because they are densely populated? New Jersey, my alma mater, is the most densely populated state in the Union. Its taxes are so high that an accountant has to be an astronaut to complete his certification. Hong Kong has more people per square mile than New Jersey. It has the lowest tax rate both on income and capital in the world. Which entity should be the template?

You should spend more time reading the Trivium, a gemstone component of which is Logic. One of the lessons you will learn is that correlation is not causation. You may want to take a peek at tautologies. They’re inimical to rational thought and reasoned discourse.

Here’s a thought that is anathema to people who never saw a tax hike that they didn’t like. Taxes are high not because condos are tall. Taxes are high not because some politicians are crooks. {Remember, I’m from New Jersey] Taxes are high not because interest on municipal bonds is tax free.

TAXES ARE HIGH BECAUSE SPENDING IS HIGH

If spending increases so must taxes. The cities and counties of Florida can’t use a Bank of Shanghai credit card. If we choose to have manatee suffrage we must pay for it.

“I won’t tax thee. You don’t tax me.
Let’s tax that fellow behind the tree.”

Who says that Florida is filled with poetry hating Tea Partiers?

#5 – “...$251 million in taxpayer funded relief” – While no one was looking the notion that tax cuts have to be “paid for” crept in. It that is the case could you tell me how much government revenue is “lost” through the deduction of mortgage interest from income taxes? Can it be said that renters, generally lower income citizens, are subsidizing home owners, generally higher income citizen? For people who regularly go hoarse condemning the “unfairness” of it all why does that get a pass?

#6 – Why do modern American Liberals still believe that despite 20 centuries of “lousy planning”, solutions that made every particular social ailment worse, “good planning” will make them better? Did not the nation join hands 46 years ago and declare war on poverty? Since we had no “exit strategy” for that fight are we at least winning it? Do you think a “surge” might be in order?

Perhaps there is an answer.

Every century gets to redefine the adages of the great Dr. Johnson.

When he mentioned “the triumph of hope over experience” he was speaking about second marriages.

Let us now add “planning” to the distinguished list.

Kevin Smith


PS – TARP, the Obama Stimulus, Obamacare. Planning? “Lousy” or “Good”?