Letter to the Editor The Miami Herald

September 30, 2010

Letter to the Editor
The Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, FL 33132-1693

RE: Somebody’s got a lot of splainin’ to do. Some comments on your Page 1 story on Cuba drilling for oil 45 miles from Florida’s pristine shores.

Sirs,

Whatever else happens we’re going to need a new template.

When the BP well blew the first response from the Obama administration was from Ken Salazar, Secretary of the Interior. I am not sure which business model suggested that “I am going to put my foot on their neck” was the way to succeed but it surely caught their attention.

Then Lord Barack the Beneficent said, in a manner inspired by Zeus, “As soon as I find the right ass to kick I am going to kick it”.

Among the many talents of the Cuban people is the ability to prolong the use life of a 1955 Chevrolet into the next millennium. They can rebuild 55 year old carburetors like a skilled surgeon can rebuild a hip. Alas, the engineering skills that these things require are not transferable to deep sea drilling.

In more than 50 years of rule by los hermanos Castro, and if there ever were two more thieving thugs anywhere, anytime I’d like to hear about them, several things are empirically self evident.

#1 – In a place so fertile flowers have been known to break through cement coffee production has fallen by 90% since 1960. Plus, their tobacco tastes like it has been filtered through a horse.

#2 – On an island, a place surrounded by water with said water being filled with fish, the Cuban people are but a half step ahead of starvation. Sad to say but starvation is gaining on them. That is why, as the noted sportsman and restaurateur, the legendary Big Mike from Bayonne still says, “That’s why you never see anybody swimming to Cuba”.

#3 – If they were to focus their economic talents on las playas de Cuba they would be importing sand in 6 months.

#4 – Evil does not mean stupid.

#5 – Enter the Chinese.

Truthers? Birthers? Small potatoes.

How about spoilers?

Would it not be in the best interests of the Chinese to befoul the Gulf of Mexico, the Straits of Cuba, the East coast of the United States, and the Gulf Stream with as much raging crude oil as they could?

The resulting chaos would result in the United States defaulting on its debt obligations. China, the principal holder of government debt and, as such, the principal creditor would be primus inter pares at the reorganization. The next #1 hit would be “Sayonara Taiwan”.

They would offer their markers in exchange for title to the country.

What would the Obama administration do?

Whatever its faults Cuba is a sovereign nation.

Should Secretary Salazar attempt to put his foot on the neck of Cuba I rather imagine that the response would be quite different than the one he got from the corporate weenies at BP.

Make sure there is plenty of film in the camera when Obama decides which Chinese ass to kick. Whatever its faults China is a sovereign nation. Also, it is a nation with nuclear weapons.

The Obama administration proved the truth of the adage “The wish of the Prince has the force of law”. The shakedown of BP, a company with more than 50% American ownership, was a $20,000,000,000 no brainer.

Try to picture the wily Ambassador One Hung Low reaching for the keys to the lockbox when President Obama says “Show me the money”.

If the threat of a “boot on the neck” and a “kick in the ass” don’t work should we send in the United States Navy to see that the manatees aren’t harmed?

Will a Federal Court Judge be able to impose his will on the Cuban government?

If History repeats itself Mel Brooks should direct this coming farce.


Kevin Smith