Mayor/Commissioner Ken Keechl

October 21, 2010

Mayor/Commissioner Ken Keechl
612 NE 26th St.
Wilton Manors, FL 33305

RE: Why just excess when there is execrable wretched excess available?

Mayor/Commissioner,

It was bad enough you sent me the flyer with the alligators telling me you opposed “off shore drilling offshore”.

It was bad enough that you proclaimed your pride in saving a golf course from the cookie monsters that, incubus-like, slip out at night and kidnap innocent golf courses for their unspeakable pleasures.

Now you tell me that “no gifts can be taken by lobbyists”.

[As an aside, and it doesn’t really matter, but there is a picture of you wearing a golf shirt. The evidence of my own eyes suggests that not only would you not know what a “shovel ready” project is but that you wouldn’t know which end of said shovel is the business end A sunken chest and pipe cleaner arms preclude you ever having to know which end of the shovel to use.]

Go back to the Agora. Stop at the Forum. Dally at Runnymede. Peek in at the Constitutional Convention. Stop at any place where men have attempted to rule themselves and show me where public officials have given gifts to lobbyists.

To highlight your endorsement by the police and fire fighter unions you show two uniformed men, purportedly members of said unions. Would I be tippy toe up on the line of hate speech if I were to say that they both look like they just failed the audition for “Village People”- Part 12? The policeman in particular looks like someone about to burst out in a tune from “La Cage aux Folles”.

As Jimmy Breslin once said, “You look at him and you root for the bad guys”.

Since we are soon to have wings just for miscreants and felons from Broward County in both the state and Federal prison systems I have a simple suggestion.

Inspectors General and Boards of Ethics tend to be cumbersome. Nichomachean ethics always seeks a balance of choices. I suggest that all in addition to the oath of office swearing to uphold the Constitution a simple honor code be sworn to also. “I will not lie, cheat, or steal. I will not tolerate those among me who do.”

I’m from Bayonne, New Jersey. That’s on the good end of Hudson County. Crooked politicians were/are/shall be with us always. Tougher laws won’t change it. Tougher enforcement might.

Beyond expulsion of those who violate said code perhaps it is time to review our ban on flogging. Just as Napoleon would execute 3 soldiers for cowardice before a battle as a way to “encourage the others” a monthly demonstration of bastinado on the steps of the Court House might encourage honesty. Burke told us that “if men were angels no government would be necessary”.

If, as you say, “County Commissioners cannot work as paid lobbyists for special interests” would you please walk over to Commissioner Lieberman and hit her with a slightly rancid cream pie? Normally I would suggest a bag of flaming cat scat but you hold you meetings indoors. Talk about cojones! In addition to being paid as Commissioner she is on the pad of several Broward cities as a lobbyist in Tallahassee. While there she uses her husband’s name. Speaking of her husband, those two have latched on to a Guinness Book of Records sized lactating mammary in that they represent everything in Broward County except the Intracoastal Waterway. It may or it may not be legal but by God it ain’t right.

It wouldn’t be right to single you out but it is convenient because you are running. The stench, the ordure coming form the Broward County Commission is most foetid and foul. Cleaning out those stables will require two Hercules. It is time to protect all hot stoves from the clutches of scheming politicians. The pennies on a dead man’s eyes should stay there. Alas, you are the paradigmatic template of the scourge of modern American Liberalism that is supreme in Broward County.

In the meantime you can console yourself with your two new awards.

POMPOUS FART OF THE MONTH
&
SMARMY BASTARD OF THE YEAR

I know we are not even through October but why wait? You got them the old fashioned way. You earned them







Kevin Smith