Margaret Carlson Bloomberg News

October 12, 2010

Margaret Carlson
Bloomberg News
1399 New York Avenue
Washington, DC 20005

RE: If you don’t let them vote you won’t have to fake the count

You go girl!

It’s hard to believe that it’s been 10 years since you changed voting tactics in this country.

I grew up in Hudson County, NJ. There was a certain moral clarity to what the Democrats did there. They added as many votes as they needed to win an election. Whether it was my uncle who voted for 15 years after he died or my teacher who never missed getting his palm card and being first in line at the polls even though he was a missionary in Asia getting additional votes was never a problem.

You changed the dynamic of stealing elections.

Rather than scouring the obituaries to add votes you figured out a way to stop votes that the other guy would normally get.

It was a marvelous idea to label all overseas military personnel as “tax cheats”. That way there would be no great public outcry when the absentee ballots bound for Karifistan went instead to East Jabib or Mung Hollow. By the time they got back to the county from where they were mailed it would be halftime at the Rose Bowl. Having missed the statutory deadline for counting in the last election they were sent either to Gehenna or the landfill.

Such is the devotion of New Yorkers to guaranteeing everyone’s civil liberties by protecting the extreme use of them that a dozen naked men masturbating in front of St. Patrick’s Cathedral to demonstrate Gay Pride was OK. Cat shit flung at a picture of the Blessed Mother was actually subsidized by New York City when it was exhibited in the publicly funded Brooklyn Art Museum. [Can you think of any possible scenario that would allow a picture of Muhammad, let’s say one with him trying to get a leg over on Dolly the Lamb, to be hit with flung pig shit at any public institution? For that matter, any private institution? I can’t either.]

Justice Brennan gave us the Ghostbusters’ version of the Constitution when he told us of “penumbras” and “emanations” to be found in the Document. The operative words of the First Amendment are simple and straightforward: “Congress shall make no law…” Thus, speech, in all its forms has ample protection.

Voting is a different matter.

600,000 Americans died so that the 15th Amendment could become part of the Constitution.

You would think that the “right” of an American GI serving overseas to cast a ballot would be sacrosanct.

Taking its cue from your Florida performance of 10 years ago the New York voting czars, all of whom could be used as paradigmatic templates of modern American Liberal state paid androids, simply played the “lateral Arabesque” game of Ballot, Ballot, Who has the Ballot. By the time they had been printed by a company owned by single moms who are women of color with no traceable carbon footprint it was too late. Democrats believe that military people don’t like them and won’t vote for them. Their solution, one that would be recognized as sound by Fascists everywhere, was to prevent them from voting by saying “the ballots are in the mail”.

Having Senator Chuckie Schumer howl like a banshee about the unfairness of it all is brilliant. If it were up to him those ballots would never have been printed. He is rooting for the election of that woman from Delaware. As the Senate’s only openly practicing warlock he needs some company.

Petitioning the Justice Department to investigate the above is also brilliant. Attorney General Eric Holder, a man whose greatest accomplishment has been to make me miss Janet Reno, doesn’t seem to mind voter intimidation provide that the right guys get intimidated. His handling of the Philadelphia Black Panther case reminds me of Jimmy Durante stealing the elephant. There is a classic scene where he is tiptoeing out of the tent with a 10 foot tall elephant on a leash. A policeman stops him and says, “What are you doing with that elephant”? Durante looks around and says, “Elephant? What elephant”? The Justice Department will conclude its investigation by the time the NCAA tournament reaches 4 teams. So what if some ground pounder doesn’t get to vote. They probably would have voted the wrong way.

And to think that you started it all!

You are one Hell of an ink stained bruja!





Kevin Smith