HRH Prince Charles

June 18, 2012
HRH Prince Charles
@ Queen Elizabeth – his mom
Buckingham Palace
London, England

RE: What were you thinking?

Yo! Chuckie! Listen up!

Just when I was feeling warm and fuzzy about your mom, just when your sons seem to be good and maybe great young men, just when I think your daughter-in-law’s sister has one of the greatest asses, certainly in the Commonwealth, and possibly in all of Christendom, you have to go and spoil it.

Your clap trap folderol on climate change is like never ending fingernails on the blackboard. Who is your mentor? I suspect some combination of Ned Lud and Lysenko has gotten your attention. One of my least favorite Englishman said, “I beseech you in the bowels of Christ, consider that you may be wrong”. [He also cut the head off of one my wife’s ancestors but that’s not why I write.]

I like baby seals more than I like polar bears. If those 10 foot carnivores drown so be it.

In my country we have enshrined the furbish lousewort and the snail darter in a Hall of Fame built for anti-rational Brobdanaglian boobs. I think you are one of its official sponsors.

It is far better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you are a horse’s ass than to open it and remove all doubt.

You and the missus seem to have a good thing going. I hope your dad feels better.

Unless your favorite climatologist becomes A. Vivaldi I suggest you keep your gob shut.

Kevin Smith

PS – Didn’t Westminster send missionaries to open churches in Greenland 1000 years ago? Why was it called Greenland? Did the climate change? It’s all so confusing, isn’t it?