Jose Antonio Ocampo Nicholas Stern The Miami Herald

June 21, 2012
Jose Antonio Ocampo
Nicholas Stern
The Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, FL 33132-1693

RE: “Show Leadership on Climate Change” – Some comments on your astonishingly dumb article in today’s Miami Herald

Sir,

Comfortably on the back nine of life, perhaps approaching the 18th tee, I still search for the Holy Grail, a Golden Fleece, somehow getting over the goal line of the elusive horizon, for something that will result in a tangible contribution to the mother lode of the Western Canon.

I long ago ruled out astronomy, rodeo, grievance counseling, cooking, medicine, and the cello

That means I must turn to the Dark Side.

“Attention must be paid” to cacophonous caterwauling that passes itself as science. It becomes holy writ thanks to the modern American Liberals who swallow such balderdash. It, and you, give Sophistry a bad name. It is an argumentum ad captandum from which people will die. Show enough pictures of dying birds, hunted whales, “endangered species” – humans excluded, of course - and a return to the world is flat, tomatoes are poisonous, Malthus was right, and Ptolemy still is spot on when it comes to diagramming the universe and people will shun toilet paper and return to corn cobs [used].

My last task will be to kill vampires. Over and over and over. Again and again and again. The same one. .A new one. This demon’s latest name is GlobalCoolingGlobalWarmingClimateChange. It is a trap “for fools set by knaves”.

STOP THE PRESSES!

I just heard from A. Vivaldi, my man at Stonehenge. The sun just peaked. Tomorrow it will start its backward journey. Just like it always does. Maybe next year an abundance of CO2 will make it head North. Until then we have another year of God’s bountiful blessings coming upon us.

RESUME REGULAR BROADCASTING

The first two dicks into the wringer are yours.

#1 – “Woe is us. It’s getting warmer. Worse, we did it.” I begin with a 2x4 across the bridges of your noses. Warm is good. In the right place it is great. 13,000 years ago it solved the mastodon over-population problem. About 1000 years ago there was an upward spike in temperature in Western Europe. Warmer weather meant that more land became arable. That translated into more protein. More protein meant that people got smarter. Can you see a trend starting here? Have you ever heard of the Renaissance?

Michelangelo, Da Vinci, Shakespeare, Bach, Samuel Johnson, Edmund Burke, Thomas Jefferson, nylon, penicillin, microwaves, polio vaccine, the Green Bay Packer sweep, walking on the moon and coming back with some cool souvenirs, leisure suits, SDI, Starbucks, PET Scans…I don’t think I’m making my point the hard way.

#2 – “We can make the poor richer by making the rich poorer. Everybody knows that, right”? Nit-wits as big as you are not to be found every day. You gild your own lily by saying that because “rich” people – Read 1st worlders, mostly White – like air conditioning they are destroying the planets. Worse, they don’t care.

Your re-education begins with a severe flogging using an environmentally sensitive whip. Perhaps some time at Gitmo would do wonders for you. Perhaps being strapped into a perpetual ass kicking machine might help.

I have been petitioning the Miami Herald since 1997 to turn off its air conditioning. Just open the windows. Contract with some local funeral homes for some hand held fans.

50% of the electricity generated in this country comes from burning coal. Talk about carbon footprints! If we all turn our A/Cs off we will drastically decrease our carbon footprint. Even if unintended, a direct consequence will be to save the friggin’ polar bears. It will be tough on the baby seals but, hey, nothing is perfect, right?

Upon receipt of this message I expect both of you to stop using A/Cs. Further, I expect you to avoid any rooms, cars, planes, movie theaters, French Knocking Shoppes, hospitals, or court houses that are air conditioned. If you don’t you become not just horses’ asses but hypocritical horses’ asses.

#3 – “The conference will seek an agreement among both rich and poor countries…” You run the risk of making Alpha Gump, AKA Albert Arnold Gore, Jr. look not as dumb as we know him to be.

There once was a conference limited to rich countries only. How could poor countries have navies? It produced something called the Kellogg-Briand Treaty. Nobel Prizes abounded. [It didn’t start with Gore and Obama] Its purpose was to limit both the size and weight of naval vessels. It was obvious that since umbrellas cause rain warships cause war. If rich nations could agree to limit the number and weight of war ships we could end sea battles. Salamis, Lepanto, and Trafalgar would pass into myth.

I am still trying to figure out why the navies of Japan and Germany spent 3 years trying to sink the ship my wife’s father served on. And in 2 oceans to boot. Get back to me if you can find out.

Would you think me a perpetual 1%er if I were to say that the outcome of your rich country/poor country has already been decided? A very wise man said a long time ago that “any public policy that any public policy that involves robbing Peter to pay Paul will always have Paul’s support”.

Just because they’re poor doesn’t mean they are stupid.

There appears to be no end to nit-wits, boobs, and dunces like you, who spend their entire adult lives trying to convince the unbelieving lamb that it is OK to spend the night with the lion. Yet more proof of the “triumph of hope over experience”.

#4 – “…reducing greenhouse gas emissions can be consistent with equitable access to sustainable development.” What the Hell does that mean? What is a rational adult to make of a statement like that? “Equitable”? To whom? “Sustainable”? Says who? To what?

The inmates are running the asylum.

Kevin Smith


PS – Silly me! Until Solyndra works out the kinks here is a temporary solution to the greenhouse gas problem. Bovine, porcine, and ovine eructations are beyond my ken. You two can make a quick dent in the planet threatening CO2 problem. Hold your breath. Count very slowly to 7,462. If necessary, count backwards to zero. If you need some help try a plastic bag. Over your head. Duct tape it shut.