Letter to the Editor The Sun Sentinel

June 16, 2012
Letter to the Editor
The Sun Sentinel

RE: Let freedom ring!

Sirs,

Fazi Say, a citizen of Turkey who is in the first rank of classical pianists, is in jail. He is accused of “insulting Islam”.

Arthur Rubenstein said if he didn’t practice for 3 days the audience knew. If he didn’t practice for 2 days the orchestra knew. If he missed a day for whatever reason he knew. Say has been locked up for 6 months. He faces an additional 18 months should he be found guilty.

I hope I am not thought to be an insulter of Islam by saying that Turkish prisons, whatever else they are famous for, are not as best place to sharpen one’s Liszt.

As to “insulting Islam”, George Carlin is still dead and Bill Maher is more at home insulting Republicans and Christians. Don Rickles will shortly be going down the modern American Liberal memory hole. Juvenal is DWEM. Swift is not available.

That leaves me.

Let us stipulate that Islamic votaries can fly planes into buildings.

Would it be insulting to say that a roomful of Allahs surrounded by dozens Mohammed butt boys couldn’t build a plane? I hope not. Just to be safe I have canceled my trip to Troy.

The United States of America uses money raised from its taxpayers and borrowed from Mandarin moneylenders to promote a play titled “Corpus Cristi”. Its plot is simple: Christ was crucified because of a lovers’ quarrel. Judas Iscariot, his homosexual lover, became enraged over a slight. He ratted him out to the Pharisees who got the Romans to crucify Him. Even Eye-Tie operas can‘t top that. “Trousered Apes” rule.

Insulting?

Absolutely.

The author is not at Camp Gitmo because artistic works on the avant-garde cutting edge of expression are under the aegis of the First Amendment. It may be time to bring back the Fullbright Doctrine. It said that no matter how bad a nation treated its citizens as long as they didn’t pee in our soup it was none of our business.

Something must be done other than sending in Seal Team 6.

Herewith my proposal.

High noon. July 4, 2012. The steps of the Federal Courthouse on Broward Boulevard in Ft. Lauderdale.

I will wrap the Koran in some of those cartoons of Mohammed. Then, to show that I am not culturally biased as to whom I insult, I will wrap them in a distressed American flag. Next stop will be the cleansing flames of righteous fire. I will have nearby a gallon of pig piss, a commodity that is most difficult to come by, should the flames begin to look like Nero’s handiwork.

I am appealing to media types of all persuasions. I most want to be received with open arms by modern American Liberals who regard any attempt to stifle artistic expression as anathema. I want them to protect me lest some crazed WOG tries to assault me as I exercise my right to free speech.

People who play the piano, people who listen to people play the piano, people who agree with Justice Douglas when he said “We must have room for what we hate”., people who said it was OK for Nazis to march in Skokie, people who protect porn - and at what age does the pedophilia proscribtion drop off? – people who agree with Justice Black who would ask where does it say in the Constitution that you can’t do it, people like that, should rally to my cause.

Allah ain’t so great.

I seek publicity to petition for this redress of grievances.

Won’t you help?

LET FREEDOM RING!

Allow me to paraphrase Cole Porter…”I love a Mozart tune. How about you?”


KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET