February 17, 2015
Congressman Patrick Murphy
2000 PGA Blvd #A3220
Palm Beach Gardens, FL 33408

RE: Reach out and help me – Some comments on your fulsome tongue bath of Hillary Clinton in today’s unlinkable Sun Sentinel.

Congressman Murphy,

I read the Wall Street Journal religiously. I am constantly hunting for a broker named Red Bone. Is it the former or the latter that will make me 100 times my money in cattle futures like Hillary Rodham Clinton did?

She wrote her senior thesis on Saul Alinsky. Can you get me a copy of it?

Would you think ill of me if I were to point out that she was hired by the largest law firm in Little Rock immediately after her husband was elected Attorney General?

Would you say that her being made a partner in the largest law firm in Little Rock immediately after her husband was elected Governor was a coincidence?

Was it her vast retail experience or the fact that she was a partner in the largest law firm in Little Rock and was married to the Governor that got her the job as a director of Walmart? Was her leaving Walmart the chief reason that it became a “bad” company or did she make it so?

Is there any truth to the rumor that she was willing to give Ricky Ray Rector a lap dance to keep him in the electric chair? Ricky Ray Rector? “tough on crime, particularly Black crime”, remember? The right to know the charges against you? The right to assist in your defense? Thank God for Google. I headr that she wanted to draw and quarter him and feed what was left to the dogs.

I think her use of a time-sales agreement rather than a mortgage for the conveyance of property in White water was worse than the surrounding fraud. If you default on a mortgage you get a day in court. If you default on a time-sales agreement they come and repo your car or take back the freezer.

When she tried to get HillaryCare made the law of the land in 1993 which Republican members of Congress did she reach out to? When did she do this? Why did she keep all the proceedings uber secret? What was she trying to hide?

When she said “Okie dokey artichokey” to Lani Guinier just before her defenestration from the White House did she really mean it?

Tell me again what those folks ion the White House travel office do to have her dump all over them in public?



What is Craig Livingstone doing these days?

Was she asked to be the poster girl for abused and humiliated wives or is that just a “vast Right-Wing” conspiracy canard?

Do you think she really was a Yankees fan?

Do you think she really wanted to join the Marines Corps? [That’s “corps”, not “corpse” as Obama says]

Do you think it’s true that she told her flunkies to take the letter “W” off all the typewriters in the White House when she left? Did she take the silver ware, the Kitchen-Aid blender, and one of the upstairs bidets when she left the White House?

How “broke” was she when she left the White House?

Under “fire” in Serbia? Maybe she should revise and extend her remarks on that one, no?

I think she should do more imitations of Black preachers. “I ain’t no way tired” was pitch perfect, remember?

The highlight of her Pennsylvania primary campaign was doing a shot of whiskey in the bowling alley. How about having her scratch her ample ass at a softball game? Why not have her “pick her feet in Poughkeepsie”? Have her do that to show her connection with blue collar dudes, even those who are “bitter clingers”. It is well worth the risk of people saying that she is a phony bastard.

How about an alumnae reunion of the ladies from the Bimbo Eruption?

Did she ever ride on the private jet of the convicted paedophile? If she did, was it reported?

Her cacophonous cackling, a sound that makes one yearn for fingernails on the blackboard, will be used to make non-Islamic terrorists confess, right?

Although she told the families of the murdered Benghazi diplomats that she would “get” whoever was responsible for the slaughter it came down to “At long last, what difference does it make”. While it I not as catchy as the New Deal or the New Frontier or even the Summer of Revival it grows on you like a pustule. Or a fistula.




I think she should use it.

Bill and Monica had “a bit of the gobble” in the Oval Office. Should she be elected will shucking her bearded clam become part of the SEAL selection process? After that, fighting the feral Islamic thugs of ISIS will be a day at the beach.


A pox on both of you.





Kevin Smith