February 19, 2015
Professor Hugh Thomas
@ The Miami Herald

RE: “Don’t know much about History…” – Some comments on your unlinkable article in today’s Miami Herald, an article in which you use a 2500 year old Logical fallacy, tu quoque, to explain to defend, I think, why Muslim terrorists are, y’know what I’m sayin’, Muslim terrorists. And, if I may gild the lily, feral radical Muslim terrorists.

My dear Professor,

Your column about Western ignorance of the real reasons for radical Muslim terrorists reminds me of Noel Coward’s WW2 ditty faintly praising the Nazis that was banned by the BBC. “Don’t Let’s Be Beastly To The Germans”. Its second line, “After all, their Bach is worse than their bite” is one of the great lyrics of the 20th century. “How much is that doggie in the window” ain’t got nothing on it. [I’ll get, so to speak, back to Bach in a bit]

I may not “know much about History” – N.B. I always capitalize the H to show my respect to Clio, my favorite Muse - but I do know if the 17th century version of feral radical Muslim terrorists did not get their demonic asses kicked by Jan Sobieski, a righteous Gentile and a savior of Western Civilization, at Vienna in 1683 we never would have heard of Bach.

Of course, if stoning is an option for settling marital disputes, if non-existential clit-cutting is a cold turkey approach to ridding the world of all those troublesome G spots, if beheading or crucifying Christians becomes an accepted after madrassa activity, if banning balloons, if forbidding whistling, I blowing up 2500 year old Buddhas is a rite of passage, if Joan of Arcing a Jordanian prisoner becomes holy writ, what difference does it make? The Goldberg Variations? The Iceberg Variations? The Jews sunk the Titanic because they are descended form pigs and monkeys. Kill them all!

There are 2 reasons for major celebrations – A Te Deum with “illuminations” – every October 7th.

#1 – It is my birthday.
#2 – All hail the victors of the Battle of Lepanto! Salamis, Trafalgar, Midway are on par with it. I may not “know much about History” but I do know that if the good guys – the Christian West – did not sink the fleet of the bad guys – feral radical Muslims – in 1571 “they” would have kept their promise and “stabled their horses in the Sistine Chapel”.

Honest. Look it up.

#1 – It’s coming up to 500 years since anybody in Spain used the strapado.
#2 – It’s been a long time, say 800 years, that we have kept the Crusaders, the original “bitter clingers”, under house arrest.
#3 – It was Christians in the West who stopped the slave trade. Do you think it is possible that 5 generations back one of the President’s forebears had in interest in recruiting some adventure seeking lads and lasses for a nice ocean voyage followed by light outdoor work, a steady job with great benefits?
#4 – Speaking of #3, there are at least 5 Muslim countries, Nigeria, Chad, Mali, Mauretania, and Sudan that either allow or acquiesce in slavery. Another thing these despicable thugs share is that each has the same number of votes in the UN that we have. How soon before we add Libya to the list?
#5 – Whatever happened to #Bringnbackourgirls? How is that working out? I never hear about it on the news. What could have possibly gone wrong?
#6 – Less than a century after a goat humping pedophile founded Islam, their peace loving – Just kidding! – votaries, missionaries all, were halfway across Europe. Thank God they met Charles Martel, a “non-cheese eating surrender monkey”, at Tours.

What would Europe have looked like if they had won and gone across the Rhine and then into the Baltic States?

13 centuries after Christ a Florentine poet said “Halfway through my journey I found myself in the dark wood of error”. 2 centuries after that Christianity tore itself apart to make itself better.

Where is the Muslim Dante? Where is the Muslim Luther?

Something happened in the Fertile Crescent about 50 generations ago. They began to eat their seed corn. They turned inward….and stayed there. Check the list of Nobel Prize winners in the 20th century. Find me a dozen Muslim names? Why is that? Should there be a set aside for them? Not a quota, more a goal.

This I know.

History, and I “don’t know much about it”, tells me that a well kicked Muslim ass is a quiet, non-threatening ass. I don’t much care if they are seething and plotting as long as they keep it to themselves. Perhaps Senator Fulbright’s doctrine is ready for a renascence

President Cleveland ordered the US Army to break the Pullman Strike so that the mail could go through. He received a telegram advising him that the strike was broken, and that the mail was going through but that he mail was going through. He immediately wired back and asked “Did you kill enough?’

The German-American Mayor of Milwaukee, at the height of the Agadir Incident, wired President Theodore Roosevelt that “100,000 German-Americans wanted Germany treated fairly”. Roosevelt wired him back to tell him that there were at least 100,000 lamp posts in the country.
In the spring of 1945 Curtis Lemay said that if the US didn’t win the war he would be tried as a war criminal.

We did; he wasn’t.

I am glad you are an atheist. One of your more famous co-religionists said, “In the long run we are all dead.”

I want my legacy to long outlive me. I have 3 granddaughters, collectively known as my Texas Ladies. I told the youngest that when she gets to my age that I want her to give her granddaughters what I gave them:

Western Civilization, with all its jewels and warts.

Let’s start with rights that are ours at birth. “Gifts from beyond the stars”, rights “endowed by our Creator” not by the local magistrate. Further into the gift bag we find the Athens/Jerusalem/Rome nexus. The Trivium. The scientific method. Critical inquiry. Reasoned Discourse. Mozart. Salk/Sabin. Walking on the Moon. The designated hitter.
Adulteresses not being stoned.

Am I naïve?

I heard the President say this morning that “Islam is part of the fabric of American life”. If that is the case why do have pork, ham, and bacon? Why hasn’t stoning caught on in our judicial system?

Not only is the Emperor naked but he has his head so far up his ass that he can check his own septum for deviations.

POP QUIZ

Which of the original DWEMs said

“Free men speak with free tongues”





Kevin Smith