February 18, 2015
Congresswoman Frederica Wilson
10100 Pines Blvd. – B3
Pembroke Pines, FL 33025

RE: What to do? What to do? – Some comments on your unlinkable Op-Ed in the 2/15/15 edition of the Miami Herald on the soon to arrive wall of water that will be of biblical proportions with apocalyptic consequences.

My dear Congresslady,

Several years ago I sent you some Gorilla Glue and 10 nails suitable for a pneumatic hammer. I am sending twice as much this time. It is the only chance you have to keep what is left of your brains and common sense inside your skull. I am not asking you to shit in your hat and pull it down over your ears because you look good in brown. I am asking you to put the Gorilla Glue inside your favorite stylish cowgirl hat and pull it down over your ears. Then get a Black & Decker drill – Buy American! – and have a trusted assistant hammer them into your head.

As I was reading your Op-Ed on climate I was tempted to think you were part of the 40th anniversary of Saturday Night Live. I was wrong for 3 reasons:

#1 - Modern American Liberals are genetically incapable of humor.
#2 – They react to satire the way Dracula reacts to holy water, a cross, and dawn
#3 – You really believe that mumbo-jumbo Global Warming crap.
You speak of the Sino-American Carbon Cap agreement as if it were on par with the Treaty of Westphalia or Versailles.

El wrongo!

For an international agreement to have the force of law it must be submitted to the Senate for its advice and consent. 2/3rds of the Senators voting must approve of it.

The President will submit the agreement as soon as he finds an atlas naming the 57 states in the US, the equally elusive English-Austrian dictionary, and the mysterious 5th Gospel, the one written by the Venerable Murray

There is something you can do.

Try to follow the bouncing ball. I’ll type slowly.

Not quite half the electricity generated in this country comes from coal burning plants. Half of that power is used to A/C your house and your office.

Can you see where I am going here?
We have not built a coal fired plant in 40 years. China builds 90 – repeat - 90 a year.

Maybe because we owe them a gazillion dollars they know they can treat President Obama, and let me quickly add that he is the best President we have, the way a dog treats a fire hydrant. [Never stand between the dog and the fire hydrant]


TURN OFF ALL A/Cs!

You write, with nary a hint of humor nor a tinge of mirth, that “energy transformation can be the best policy for reducing unemployment”. Does that mean that Solyndra will rise again? Will it lead to a never-ending Summer of Recovery? We will reach and breach the horizon when that happens. The other sign will be when Newton is hit by an apple falling up.

It is a real possibility, one that cannot be dismissed lightly, that you are so Homericaly dumb, that you shouldn’t be allowed to operate heavy machinery. Ignorance, be it vincible or invincible, should not be a prerequisite for public office. On the other hand, even if it requires a set-aside, there will always be room at the public table for a lady of a certain age who dresses like she is Dale Evans.




Kevin Smith



PS – If 16 feet of water will soon be roaring across Biscayne Bay, doubtless coming from the angry bowels of the Bermuda Triangle, linking the Atlantic Ocean with the Alamo, I suggest you introduce legislation limiting the losses to the American public. Begin by ending Federally subsidized coastal flood insurance. Then stop the Federal Housing Authority from subsidizing construction of any housing projects in the path of the incoming tsunami. Also, stop Fannie Mae and Freddy Mac from buying any mortgages on property that will soon be a home for humping halibut, hake, and haddock. Why should taxpayers in Edina, MN, good citizens all, pay for our profligacy? Of course, you can always

TURN OFF ALL A/Cs!