July 11, 2013
Michael Mayo
The Sun Sentinel

RE: Thank you lifeguards! – Some comments on your unlinkable Sun-Sentinel column about the first responders to rip tides.

Mr. Mayo.

I second your motion to praise lifeguards, particularly those on ocean duty.

I saw some of them this morning. They all appeared to be in good shape what with their zinc-oxided noses offset by their red cheeks. They have an air of sang-froid about them that says they will save you even if you are Quebecois.

I noticed something else. I am glad that your column gives me a chance to bring it up.

They are all, 100%, with zero exceptions, “creepy assed crackers”. Every last one of them.

I am pretty sure that there were no “white Hispanics” either.

Brothers with doo rags? Say what?

Ramadan fans with worry beads? Nope

Serious Jews? Satmar or Lubavitcher? No way, Jose.

Turbaned Sikhs or saffron robed Buddhists?

Why not?

Would not the eternal quest for diversity and inclusion, as an end in itself, dictate that no more White guys be hired until the annual life guard ball resembles the universe these brave men swim into harm’s way for?




KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET