July 2, 2013
Gina Barecca
The Hartford Courant
285 Broad Street
Hartford, CT 06115

RE: Turn them upside down and they all look alike – Some comments on your Op-Ed in today’s Sun-Sentinel.

Ms. Barecca,

A feminist English teacher at a New England university? God’s Holy Trousers, but I think I may have just hit, excuse the expression, the Mother Lode. “I know that my Redeemer liveth,”

First, your comment “I don’t think it was women who decided it was a good idea to start putting small print on tight V-necks” is spot on. The follow up fact, one that English teachers at New England universities seem to be incapable of grasping, is that only chicks with reasonably bodacious ta-tas buy “tight V-necks”. Does the term “Ruebenesque” come to mind?

I hear all the drivel about women being paid less than men – 79% seems to be the du jour amount of the unfairness of it all – and I wonder why a hard driving, aggressive, dare I say “pushy bitch”, didn’t grab the idea and run with it.

Speaking of gender caused pay inequity – Imagine the shame at being paid less because you can’t pee, gracefully, standing up – please tell me how you are able to cope with equally credentialed male contemporaries, you have no peers, being paid 25% more? What difference does it make which part of the tampon/condom machine you use in the uni-sex john/jane when it comes time to condemn Wordsworth for being a sexist? Paraphrasing Dr. Johnson, “He’s a pig and that’s an end to it”. Screw the daffodils.

Before I get to the subject of bumper stickers I have some questions.

Your bio says that you are both a “feminist scholar” and a “teacher of feminist theory”.

Inter alia I know why Oedipus went to Colonnus. Lysistrata sure had some set of balls doing what she did, particularly in the time she did it, Was Helen worth 1000 ships? Do you think Penelope knew that Ulysses was catting around on his way home? We know what happened to Abelard, Did Heloise think that was fair? Beatrice, What’s the story? Yes, I know about June 16th. I read a lot. Can I tell you that I can quote Kipling without you thinking ill of me? I know that Rachel Carson killed more Africans in the last 40 years then 10 Idi Amins. I have been trying to get a copy of Hillary Rodham’s senior thesis, the one about Saul Alinsky. Perhaps you can help. I am still sure that “Rosie O’Grady and the Colonel’s lady are sisters under the skin”.

What in the name of Antigone and Lear’s daughters is “feminist theory”? While you are at it, how about a few sentences explaining the difference[s] between “feminist scholar” and “female scholar”? Does pi know the gender of its teacher? Is your column published in any Muslim countries? Did you shatter any “glass ceilings” the way Mrs. Clinton did? Do you think “Women and children first” should be half changed? Have you ever been to a “Ladies Night”? How long do you think it will take to bring gender equity to Arlington Cemetery?

Back to the bumper stickers…

How about “I Hope You Get Raped”? That’s what passes for reasoned discourse on the part of Pro-Death supporters in the Texas legislative abortion brouhaha.

How about “Cut Obama’s Balls Off”? That’s what Jesse Jackson said in February, 2008.

How about “Sanger and Mengele - Perfect Together”? Do some homework.

How about “Show Us Your Tits”? If you are cruising on I95, in your polar bear drowning SUV, it’s safer than doing an up close and personal viewing of The Vagina Monologues.

How about “God Bless John Wayne”? It beats the Hell out of “I Miss Carter”.

How about “Mecca Delenda Est”? End game.

Dave Barry was right. You are funny for a broad.






Kevin Smith