July 26, 2013
Bernie Machin – President
226 Tigert Hall
PO Box 113150
University of Florida
Gainesville, FL 32611

RE: Attention Gator Nation! – The presumption of innocence ain’t Sharia law. Check it out.

Mr. Machin,

What happens if Aaron Hernandez is acquitted? O.J. beat the rap, remember?

Will there be a public ceremony re-laying the brick bearing his name as a member of the national championship team? If any of the games won can be attributed to him directly would not Logic dictate that they be forfeited? Would it not be incumbent on you to return the accoutrements of both championships?

If he is found guilty is there any chance of him being executed at half time at the Florida State game?

I went to the UF website to get your mailing address. There I was confronted by the God-awful headline “Creating Women Leaders”. It is not said whether they are created out of whole cloth or whether they spring from someone’s forehead.

For the above offenses, you putz, I hereby name you

HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK

Some good news may come out of your SNAFUed, FUBARed actions. I will consult with my Board about creating a new award. If they agree I will retroactively name you

GATOR’S ASS OF THE WEEK




KEVIN SMITH