July 6, 2013
Stephen L. Goldstein
The Sun Sentinel

RE: TU QUOQUE – Why didn’t someone tell me about this before?

Professor Screwtape, AKA “Peckerhead”

I know what you must be thinking.

What caused this abrupt change in me, your most gracious, indeed idyllic and irenic, critic? I was always a gentle, caring scold.

What made me change from being a mildly amusing decent fellow to a curmudgeonly, pole-axing, meaner than cat shit stalker of modern American Liberals?

You did, you dunce.

In your unlinkable column of June 5 you told us that argumentum ad hominem was OK as long as the right guy was getting hominemed as in “Borked”.

You told us how good it was that Bork became an eponym. Judge Bork was a triple threat. First, his name as a noun. Second, his name as a verb. Third, his name as a political strategy.

In your case, you vile turd, I would have preferred to use argumentum ad absurdum or argumentum ad captandum but since you told me that it was OK to look into Judge Bork’s garbage, into Judge Bork’s choices of rental movies, and of what he did to try to help his wife die a bit less unpleasantly I feel duty-bound to hit you with a bat – rhetorically speaking, of course.

Thus, when you speak of “settled law”, you cabeza de caca, I am delighted to tell you that Plessy v Ferguson was “settled law”.

I would like to have used petard as an example – hoist on one’s own petard – with its sexist overtones but I fear a night time visit by the dreaded modern American Liberal word police. The first bottom feeding slug to send the coppers – men with badges and guns, in this instance agents of the Florida Department of Law Enforcement, Agent Thomas and Agent Mineva to be precise – after me was Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz. Since mALs of all stripes have no sense of humor I would like to staple her Julia Roberts lips to a 110 outlet and try to straighten her hair.

The great ending to the Bork story is that if he had been approved for the Supreme Court Vice President Alfred Arnold Gore, son of Albert Arnold Gore, Sr a man whose most notable achievement was being in the tank for Armand Hammer, a man whose nose was so far up Lenin’s ass, yes, that Lenin, that Al Sr. taught his son the words to the Internationale before the Star Spangled Banner, would have been President.

[Of course, if the dumb bastard had won Tennessee, his home state, a state where he set a record by flunking out of 2 graduate schools in one semester before going on to being a tobacco growing, slum landlording, serial polluting shit he would have been President even if he did not get one vote in Florida.] Maybe that explains why he sold out to the murdering thugs who blew up the World Trade Center.]

Since you mention Clarence Thomas in a way you would not mention Trayvon Martin – Does that make you a friggin’ hypocrite? It sure does, you dummy – I must mention Thurgood Marshall.

Perhaps the term “idiot savant” applies to him. Without doubt the best trial lawyer in the 20th century to serve on the Supreme Court his time as a Justice was excruciating.

It is rumored that the first time he put his robes on he tried to put his feet in first. If it hadn’t been for Justice Powell he would still be waiting for Diana Ross. The rumor that his shoes have directions “toes in first” cannot be confirmed.

Read his opinion on Roe V Wade. It could have been written by Dr. Mengele. Margaret Sanger, she of the “Cull the herd School of Eugenics” and the intellectual forebear of the Nuremberg Race Laws, would have patted him on the head for good luck. In its entirety it is the best argument for making abortion legal and retroactive

He got his job the old fashioned modern American Liberal way. Guilty White people gave it to him.

Did you know that Justice Bryer’s wife’ family is a “name” at Lloyd’s of London? That means that every time, every single time with no exceptions, the Court hears a case involving insurance or banking he is up to his lower lip in a conflict of interest.

One thing more, you pustule.

I want you to write the words vox populi in the little black book that all mALS carry. Then I want you to draw a line through it.

The people can’t be trusted. They’re all shmucks, right?

This is liberating. No more Mister Nice Guy. Thanks.




KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET