July 29, 2013
Jim Stratton
The Orlando Sentinel
633 N. Orange Avenue
Orlando, FL 32801

RE: “Tourism Industry Raises Union Boogeyman” - Some comments on your unlinkable column/article in today’s Sun Sentinel

Mr. Stratton,

I am glad you were out when I called this morning.

I went back and reread your article/column.

When I finished it I began to hear strains of “I Dreamt I Saw Joe Hill”. That was followed by a dirge keening about the deaths at the Triangle Shirtwaist fire. Then Norma Rae rose up like a proletarian succubus and begged us to like her.

I thought your talents would have better used on the editorial page but when your company operates under the aegis of Chapter XI everybody has to double in brass.

Speaking of unions…I paid dues to Teamsters Local 560. That was the local run by Anthony Provenzano. I add from personal observation that whatever else he was he was a most gracious individual who would always ask if he could be of help. Plus, he would always buy the last unsold table for any recognized charity in Hudson County. Alas, the sight of 10 gorillas in rented suits on their best behavior was never photographed.

I mention the above because I want to know if you ever belonged to a Big Boys’ union. Not one of those Girly Man outfits like the Teachers or Reporters or the SEIU. [The SEIU likes to beat up 72 year old disabled guys in wheelchairs. George Meany and Samuel Gompers would be proud, right?]

The above leads to the following:

#1 – Since you write in the business section I am going to assume, foolishly perhaps, that you are aware of Section 10b5 of the Securities Act or 1934. If you aren’t someone in your group should be.

#2 – 10b5 sets the parameters for fraud. “Material misrepresentation, either by commission of omission, is how it is defined.

#3 – A case can be made alleging that you are guilty of civil fraud for making the following statement,

“My dad was a liquor-store clerk in Pennsylvania, He didn’t
make much money, but his union contract meant we could afford
doctor visits and kids’ braces [3 sets]. When my mother got
cancer, we knew we could pay for treatment.”
The Sun Sentinel
Today
You

#4 – Your father did not work for Total Wine or any of its antecedents. He worked for the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania. He was a state employee much the same as a social worker, an apparatchik at the DMV, a prison guard, or the tax collector. He was a state employee because, in Pennsylvania, the state was in charge of selling whiskey and whisky. [That probably is the best way to discourage drinking. Put a government in charge of the beach and in 2 years they are importing sand. Would a photo ID, something that is required to buy some Cardhu or Balvenie, be required to vote in a referendum to break up the monopoly?] One of the labor practices that cross state lines with remarkable ease was the willingness of governments to reward their supposedly underpaid employees with lavish benefits, including health care on the Cadillac level. The orthodontist and the oncologist were more than happy to provide their services. There was never a moment’s doubt that they would be paid.

#5 – Since your statement did not affect any transaction I hereby grant you a retroactive pardon. The uptick here is that you did not have to hire any of Hillary Clinton’s siblings. [They are churlish louts, aren’t they?]

#6 – Should the fickle wheel of Fortuna turn against you in Orlando you can apply for ideological asylum in Fort Lauderdale at the Sun Sentinel. Pollyanna rules –
Rules being both a verb and a noun – and belief that the repeal of laws surrounding gravity are the requirements for finding a home at the editorial aerie of the Sun Sentinel.

#7 – Come on down. I am always looking for new piñatas.





Kevin Smith