July 28, 2013
Letter to the Editor
The Miami Herald
3511 NW 91st Street
Miami, FL 33172

RE: Christmas in July! An early piñata of boobs, charlatans, mountebanks, and fakers as proclaimed in today’s Miami Herald.

Sirs,

I rubbed my eyes, first in disbelief, then in growing glee, at the prospect of an unprecedented Daily Double loomed large.

Andres Oppenheimer is the first of several jackanapes to be Gorilla Glued in the 10 ring.

“Granted, many of us, especially those born outside
the island, once saw the “Cuban Revolution”
with a dose of romantic admiration.”
The Miami Herald
Today
You

This boob’s first assignment should to learn the origins and the History of the term “useful idiot”. It shouldn’t take him long. Here’s a hint. Tell him to look in the mirror.

Since you pay him to kill trees you must tell him to familiarize himself with Walter Duranty. He took “romantic admiration” to the next level. He was awarded a Pulitzer Prize for his half lies, his whole lies, his blood libels, and his infamous perfidy.

Tell the knucklehead to follow this time line.

#1 – Stalin didn’t like Jews.
#2 – There were a lot of Jews, as many as 10,000,000, in the Ukraine.
#3 – He starved them to death. All of them.
#4 – Duranty told the world, through the New York Times, that Stalin didn’t do it.
#5 – No one knows how many Jews died.
#6 – Hitler saw that Western Democracies didn’t know and didn’t care.
#7 – The Germans kept better records.

`Tell him that since Castro took over Cuba has had 3 problems

#! – Breakfast
#2 – Lunch
#3 – Dinner
As long as horse’s asses like Oppenheimer still believe that water can be made to run uphill, that if we could get the sun to rise in the North to better help the beleaguered farmers, and if Kumbay becomes the international anthem Castro and his gang of ladrones will continue to thrive even if his country can’t prosper.

As the noted sportsman, the glamorous restaurateur, and now an outstanding public servant, the legendary Big Mike from Bayonne is wont to say, “That’s why you never see anybody swimming to Cuba”.

He should be stapled to a saddle facing backwards on a mule tethered on Calle Ocho. There, youngsters can hit whim with cream pies and water balloons. Older folks can throw flaming bags of cat scat at him.

Stronger note to follow.


Thank God there is only one Good Friday.

That gives Leonard Pitts the rest of the year to have sole possession of the spotlight on him as he hectors us from the Cross.

He chronicles the sad life of an employee of McDonald’s who, after 20 years in their employ, is making $8.25 an hour.

His column is on how it is impossible to live on $8.25 an hour. Further, it is the fault of rich White people who are opposed to raising taxes, some of which could be used to buy him some lottery tickets. Space constrained him from saying that if the Koch Brothers were to be executed this guy would be farting through silk.

It should be noted that the above-mentioned ongoing victim of corporate greed lives in Chicago. What he needs, needed, was a cadre of community activists who could speak truth to power – I always wanted to write that - and pay him what Pitts thinks he is worth.

I don’t know about the current CEO of McDonald’s but the company has had as many as 3 CEOs in a row whose first job was wiping tables at – you guessed it – McDonald’s.

If after 20 years he hasn’t gone from mopping and wiping at Mickey D’s to at least McMuffining it probably is his fault. It may be proof positive that the Peter Principle is still valid. It is a testament to him that if he didn’t mop or wipe well he would have been long gone. Has anyone told him that indentured servitude is no longer in effect in this country? How has Chicago been able to keep Wendy’s and Burger King out of Cook County Maybe he should become a community activist.

If $8.25 an hour is unacceptably unconscionable why not raise it to $36.50 an hour?

We can borrow some more money from the Chinese. Ben Bernanke can continue to throw $80,000,000,000 of Monopoly money a month from the back of a moving train.

Pretty soon the whole country can look like Detroit.

Listen up, Lenny

Use both your hands.

Try to find your ass.

Report back.


Some thoughts from a curmudgeonly, erudite, creepy - ass cracker

I always begin these notes by saying that my father’s father had 2 uncles who fought at Gettysburg. They were members of the Irish Brigade. One of them has been there since the afternoon of July 2, 1863, “wrapped in his faded coat of Blue”.

Somewhere in that Pennsylvania ossuary there is a bit of bone that has the same DNA markers as mine.

I mention that because should this country see fit to pay reparations to the children of slaves I want to use the above as a carry forward tax credit to cover my end of the bill.

The above, coupled with the fact that Ireland, the ancestral home of my forebears, was the first country to ban slavery – 16 centuries ago – always gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling that modern American Liberals strive for.

I’ll need it.

In Preacher Pitts’s printed peroration there is a picture of 5 people holding signs. There is a picture of Trayvon Martin in his hoodie; there is also a call for justice.

George Zimmerman, a “white Hispanic”, was found to be not guilty of all charges in the death of African American Trayvon Martin.

Should Aaron Hernandez, another “white Hispanic”, is found not guilty of killing…killing… what was the name of his African American?.... will there be protests and calls for justice? If not, why not?
Speaking of protests, it’s been a few years but do you remember if there were any protests after O.J. Simpson beat the rap? Did Short Hills, NJ or Wiscasset, ME or Lighthouse Point, FL erupt? If not, why not?

50 years ago this summer I was a lay missionary doing construction work in rural Mexico. To be precise, the town was Huejutla, Hidlago en Los Estados Unidos de Mexico.

Coming back from work the first day a few Indian kids followed us. One of them began to pick at the hair on my arm. He did this because Indians had no arm hair. I began to notice that some local women had visible hair in their arm pits. Also, their legs were never shaved.

Would you believe that they did this to show that they were White?

I vowed then and there that I would never again accept lectures from anyone on matters racial.

He eHHhesays that Judi, his“white assistant,” once e-mailed him asking “why you just don’t hate white people.”

I can send him a list of the White people I hate. We can have a hate-in.

He tells us how his “professional forebears”, presumably journalists, changed the world.

In the meantime he exhorts us to be guided by “the better angels of our nature”.

I think it would be wise to cast my lot with the Lord rather than Chris Matthews. Whatever else Matthews is he is at least a few rungs up from Al Sharpton.




Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET