August 6, 2014
Lori Parrish
Broward County Property Appraiser
115 S. Andrews Avenue
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301

RE: There’s hypocrisy and there’s “hypocrisy” – Some comments on your highly dudgeoned letter about 2 bald men fighting over a comb as reported in today’s unlnkable Sun Sentinel.

Ms. Parish,

When the hooker gets religion…Watch out!

Of all the rules governing hypocrisy 2 are paramount.

#1 – You, as the hypocrite, must have an eclectic memory. On a national level there were 3 Presidents in the 20th century who, after saying that they would not fight in foreign wars, fought in foreign wars. Honest. Look it up. Google 1916, 1940, and 1964. Yet Democrats proclaim themselves the party of peace. Hypocrisy is the mother’s milk of modern American Liberals. 126% of them favor 4th and 5th trimester abortions and would vote for Dr. Mengele because of his progressive views on infanticide= but are resolute in their opposition to the death penalty. Go figure. The President of the United States said – 24 separate times – that if you liked your doctor you could keep him. I can tell you that as of January 1, 1915 I will not be able to do that. I guess lying and hypocrisy are synonymous.

#2 – You, as the hypocrite, must hope on the local level that no one remembers your hypocrisy. It ain’t going to work out that way today.

Do you remember when you had 2 jobs in 1998?

You were an elected member of the Broward County Commission and you were an employee and an officer of the Swap Shop.

No conflict there, right?

The problem was that your private employer – “Whose wine I sing whose song sing” or, as is still said in Hudson County, N J “It’s always better to know the buttered side from the dry” – owed more than $300,000 to the Broward Sheriff’s Office. The Swap Shop would hire off duty, uniformed Broward Sheriff’s Deputies as security guards. The Sheriff would pay them and, in a more perfect world, the Swap Shop would reimburse them. I was shocked, shocked to find out that they didn’t.

I was, in my other life, the CFO of a public company. One of the ways of financing your operations was to dragoon your customers into becoming an unsecured lender. Any money not paid to them is positive cash flow to you. What you do with the money is irrelevant. Salaries, weekly vig, taxes, 3 martini lunches…What difference did it make? It wasn’t your money.

In a most mug-wumpish manner you had both your paws and both your mitts in both camps You were a creditor and a debtor. Nice work if you can get it and, sweetheart, you got it.

“Nobody pays their bills on time. It’s the American way” was the answer you gave to the Sun Sentinel when they suggested that it didn’t pass the bag test.

Did Broward County have to sue the Swap Shop to get its money? In essence you would be suing yourself. At least the county could have saved the fee for service of the complaint. Just walk across the hall and give it to you.

Suer and suee. It’s good to be the Queen, right?

Suer/suee is a new compound word that may be used one day as a one word definition de los cojones grandes, right? You said of the former Mayor, “What a hypocrite. One rule for him and one for his family”.

You should sniff around your undies drawer to see if it passes the smell test before you comment on someone else’s knickers, knotted or otherwise.



Kevin Smith



PS – “Suer and Suee”. There is one place where it is OK to shout that out. That place is at a University of Arkansas football game. Go hogs! Down here it means you’re just a pig